Like Mother, Like Mother

Through its exploration of women from multiple generations—Zelda, Lila and Clara, and Grace and Ruth—the text reflects how these women navigate society’s personal and professional expectations of them across time.

Zelda married Aldo in the 1950s, just before the advent of second-wave feminism, and he—with his abusive and controlling nature—demanded his wife be “traditional,” obedient, and domestic. He valued her for her looks, money, and youth. When Zelda could not perform her domestic duties, he demanded that his mother take over as a homemaker. Feminism’s second wave “burst upon the American scene, mobilizing a growing number of women to join various campaigns to promote greater equality between women and men in all aspects of life” (Fox-Genovese, Elizabeth. “Women’s Status: A Century of Enormous Change.” The Public Perspective, 1999). Around this time, Zelda became so desperate to escape her life that she attempted to end it; when this failed, she seized an opportunity to run away and start again. With her second, more forward-thinking husband, Herbert, she was able to go to college, learn to drive, and find gainful and fulfilling employment. Though his mother questions “Frida’s” potential previous sex life when they meet—indicating a very old-fashioned mindset—Herbert himself is much less concerned with controlling his wife. Zelda finds new professional fulfillment, as she retires at age 82, indicating great satisfaction, and she remains with Herbert until his death, confirming her personal happiness in the marriage.

Lila achieved both personal fulfillment and professional success in her marriage to Joe and her career in journalism, in part, because times—and society’s expectations for women—were changing: “During the 1960s and 1970s, the struggle for greater sexual equality paralleled an equally intense struggle for gender equality in pay and opportunity […]. Slowly, during the late 1970s and […] 1980s, women closed the gap. Today, most occupations are open to women who choose to enter them” (Fox-Genovese). Though Bramble applauds Lila’s “iron balls”—a misguided way of commending her strength and boldness—and though she is initially criticized for outing sexism in her workplace, she is eventually promoted to Bramble’s position and rewarded for her unembarrassed handling of the incident with Josh Morgan. Further, Joe’s willingness and ability to serve as the primary caregiver for their three daughters meant that Lila could fulfill her professional ambitions without having to resign herself to domesticity, challenging traditional roles for men and women within the home.

Because of the work of their forebears, the women of Grace and Ruth’s generation can take the next steps toward greater equality and fulfillment: “Americans […] have come to believe that married women have as much right as their husbands to work, even when they have young children” (Fox-Genovese). Thus, we see Nico patiently waiting for Ruth to fulfill her professional podcasting ambitions before marrying, and Xander assuring Grace that, while he’d like to have children, he doesn’t need them. These younger men’s expectations for women have changed dramatically, in part because women like Zelda and Lila resisted the demands of the older generations so that women like Grace and Ruth could have more opportunities, workplace equality, and personal choices than ever before.