When Lila Dahl was a baby, Doll took her from her home and raised her as her own. Lila was a quiet baby who often hid from adults. She hated the way Doll obsessed over her and barely spoke at all for years. Lila was a sick baby who almost died at birth but Doll devoted herself to her care. For a time, Doll and Lila stayed with an elderly woman, who Doll worked for. She knew the truth about Lila and often warned Doll that she’d get into trouble for stealing the child; Doll was skeptical that anyone would come looking for her. However, Doll and Lila eventually had to leave the old woman’s when her son and daughter-in-law came to live with her.

After leaving the old woman’s house, Doll and Lila joined Doane, Marcelle, Em, Mellie, and Arthur on the road. They started traveling and working together. Years later, Lila would try to tell the Reverend John Ames about her time with Doane and the others, but would have trouble explaining her past. Lila never learned the truth of her story from Doll as they “never spoke about any of it” (13). They settled in with their new group, and their life seemed natural to Lila.

Years later, Lila still finds herself thinking about this time. She is now living in Gilead with her husband, the Reverend John Ames. Her mind often wanders when she is tending his garden. The two have been married for some time now and Lila’s life has changed drastically; still, she often feels an old sadness come over her. She cares deeply for the pastor but sometimes wishes they could communicate differently. Just the other night they were lying in bed talking and Lila found herself incapable of opening up to John, despite his openness with her. Her mind is often consumed by memories of Doll. She often finds herself wondering if her past is too wicked to overcome, and imagines that her baptism didn’t actually cleanse her.

Despite how long Lila and John have been together, John often worries that she will leave him. Lila tries to reassure him but does sometimes contemplate getting out of town and starting over again. Then one day, she realizes she might be pregnant and understands that she’ll have to settle down for good now. On the porch that night, she and John discuss the possibility of having a child together. An elderly John is surprised but happy.

Lila recalls her arrival in Gilead. After fleeing St. Louis, she headed out to Sioux City. After some weeks of living on the road, she found an abandoned cabin outside of Gilead where she decided to stay. Then one day, she wandered up to the church in town where she met the reverend. They sat together, and John told her about his life, including his wife and child’s death. Lila alluded to her own situation but didn’t open up to John. He assured her that whatever she was struggling with, “God is all that can resolve it” (31). She felt she owed him something afterward but he didn’t request anything in exchange, and instead invited her back whenever she chose. Still living in the cabin, Lila later found herself returning to the church and asking John to baptize her. She wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do, but she had been overcome by loneliness of late. She would often get lost in thoughts of Doane, Mellie, and Marcelle, wondering what had happened to them.

The more often she wandered into the town, the more acquainted Lila became with Gilead. She met Mrs. Graham, who invited her in and gave her some new clothes. From there, she visited the cemetery where she found the reverend’s late wife and late child’s grave. She often felt like an outsider in Gilead but had trouble being on her own.

Lila continues to recall her past. She remembers her life in St. Louis and before Gilead. She remembers Doll teaching her to read and the first time she encountered the Bible. She remembers when she first discovered the passage about saving a baby’s life which she loved. She remembers growing up with Doll, Doane, Mellie, Marcelle, and the others, and all the time they spent sleeping outdoors or staying at workers’ camps.

Remembering this now, Lila wonders if John would be embarrassed by her past if he knew the truth. During the weeks she was staying in the cabin outside Gilead, she often worried what the townspeople thought of her when she would wander into Gilead. She never cared for them or their judgements, and tried to share as little as she could about herself. She realizes again how lonely she was back then. She remembers the days she spent working in people’s houses and all the times she’d run into the reverend in town. She remembers, too, the day she saw him outside the church after a funeral. They made eye contact and Lila felt comforted. She even envied the mourning woman at his side. The moment reminded her of another time she’d found herself waiting outside a church as a girl.