Lila remembers a time she waited outside a church as a little girl. Doll had gone away somewhere and she wandered into a town with Doane, Mellie, Arthur, and the others. They told her to sit on the church steps and wait for them. Lila sat there, unsure if anyone would return for her. The local preacher found her there and offered to house her for the night. Lila refused to move, insisting someone would come back for her. Finally Doll arrived, relieved to have found Lila. The preacher distrusted Doll, skeptical that she was Lila’s mother. A defensive Doll shepherded Lila away.

Sitting outside remembering this now, Lila feels like crying but quashes her emotions. Then she grasps the knife in her pocket when she hears an unfamiliar sound. She reflects on her circumstances, realizing how fortunate she is to have John. She remembers the start of their relationship and how kind he was to her. He listened to her questions and offered her the best advice he could, always admitting when he didn’t have the answers. She remembers a time she wandered into town in the rain and the reverend invited her in. She remembers pitching tents in the woods with Doane, Arthur, Mellie, and the others. She was always on guard and careful about trusting others. One time, they came across a church giving baptisms. Lila was mesmerized by the scene until Doll pulled her away. Shortly thereafter, Mellie turned up doused in water. Everyone teased her about getting baptized but she insisted she’d fallen into the water. Lila told John this story when they first met, too. Then Lila finds herself reflecting on her love for the passage in Ezekiel about the baby, and how often she copied the verse.

The next morning, Lila wakes up thinking more about her past. She loved learning to read and write. When she went to school for a time, she inherited the last name Dahl—a misspelling of “doll.” She wonders now about the significance of her name. It connected her to Doll, but she realizes that after Doll left her on the church steps she couldn’t love her “like she did all those years” (69) prior. Doane was mad at Doll then, too, and burned the shawl she had taken when she took Lila as a baby. Lila was upset about losing the shawl, but she and Doll never discussed it.

When Lila first came to Gilead, she worked for Mrs. Graham, helping her with the laundry. She longed to flee the town whenever she was doing the wash. Each day, she saved the money she made and hid it in the cabin, hoping to someday buy a train ticket out of there. It took too long to save the money, however, and soon Lila had been in Gilead for a year. This was the longest she had lived anywhere and she worried about getting too comfortable.

Those days she was living in the cabin, Lila sometimes found herself missing St. Louis. She hated living and working at the brothel there, but at least she had had company. During her days in the cabin, she found herself thinking of Doane, Marcelle, and Mellie a lot, too. Then one day, the reverend brought her a note. His letter addressed some of the questions she’d asked him about human existence when they spoke on that rainy day at his house. Lila pored over its contents, desperate to understand his meaning. Finally, she returned to town and found John. They chatted for a while before Lila suggested he ask her to marry him. Although surprised, John proposed and Lila accepted. She told herself she didn’t have to stay forever and could always use the money she’d saved up if she ever wanted to escape.

Sometime thereafter, the reverend found Lila again and gave her a ring. He informed her that the townspeople might be skeptical of their marriage but that she needn’t worry. His position in town was for life and there was nothing they could do to offend or get rid of him. Although grateful, Lila did inform him it could be risky to marry someone like her, alluding to her past. The reverend was unfazed and insisted on proceeding with their plans.

After Lila’s baptism, she and John made plans for the Reverend Boughton to marry them. Lila informed John that their union wouldn’t mean she could trust him.

In the weeks before the wedding, Lila stayed at a local hotel before she moved in with John. Some days, she would take a walk in the woods and check on the shack. She had left what few things she owned there and sometimes worried they’d go missing. She was most concerned about the knife and the hidden money.

After the wedding, the town held a large dinner gathering. That night, she saw John praying and mused on how praying resembled grief or shame. She worried he regretted his decision, but he assured her otherwise.

Over the weeks following, Lila settled into her new life. Some days she even enjoyed herself, deciding she was stealing these good experiences on behalf of Doll. She and John would spend their evenings talking. He was always enamored with Lila’s questions and thoughts, although he rarely had the answers. Lila didn’t understand theology but respected that John didn’t preach a lot about hell or damnation.

One night, Lila lies in bed with John and they discuss hell again. Lila guesses that the reason he doesn’t discuss it much is because she is the only one he knows who will “end up there” (102). Sleepless and worried, Lila stays up thinking more about her past. In the morning, she bathes in the river, realizing again that she must be pregnant. She remembers the women she, Mellie, and Doll would encounter in the woods giving birth alone. Sometimes the woman’s husband would be missing. Sometimes the women would be so weak their bodies would give out on them after the birth. Thinking of her own child, Lila resigns herself to staying in Gilead. She imagines how the town and church will respond to the birth, and how different it will be than it was for those women in the woods.