Long Shot

“Her heart-shaped face is arresting, a contrast of fierce and delicate. She has high cheekbones and dark brows that slash over a button nose and hazel eyes. Hazel is too flat a word to describe all the shades of green and brown and gold. I’ve never seen eyes quite like these. Several colors at once. Several things at once. I wonder if the girl behind them is as multidimensional.”

August’s first impression of Iris conveys his instant attraction to her. He is attuned to her body, figure, stature, and demeanor. He notices not only her “face,” “cheekbones,” “brows,” “nose,” and “eyes” but also her simultaneous “ferocity” and “delicacy.” This detailed passage of description conveys the depth and authenticity of August’s interest in Iris. He doesn’t simply see her as a beautiful woman but as a complex, powerful individual. This meet-cute ignites their friends-to-lovers romance.

“I’ve always plotted my path in the opposite direction of my mother’s. Independence. Not relying on a man. Making my own way. If there’s one thing I know about my course, it’s that I have to stay on it.”

Iris’s complex upbringing and maternal relationship inform her ongoing Journey Toward Self-Empowerment. Iris wants to live an independent life not only because she is a self-reliant individual but also because she does not want to repeat her mother’s mistakes. She is terrified of “relying on a man” after witnessing how disempowering such imbalanced relational dynamics were for her mother. This moment of internal monologue introduces one of Iris’s primary internal and personal conflicts.

“‘You didn’t want to jeopardize your future plans,’ Lotus says, doubt leaking into her voice. ‘This pregnancy means you might have to depend on Caleb more. It makes it harder for you to be independent and live apart from him. Maybe he was less careful than you thought.’”

Lotus’s character acts as Iris’s archetypal guide. She consistently offers Iris advice, hard truths, encouragement, and direction. Lotus speaks with honesty and directness; she does not coddle Iris. Her blunt words and direct tone underscore her devotion to her cousin. She sees and understands her and thus wants the best for her. In this scene, she is trying to remind Iris of who she is and what she wants. In doing so, she contributes to Iris’s journey toward self-empowerment.

“My life is completely new. And Iris has a baby now, for God’s sake. There’s a part of me, though that will always think of her as the gorgeous girl swearing at the television in a sports dive, sipping flat beer and pulling for her Lakers. We’re different, but I wonder if the quick, deep intimacy we shared that night is still there. If it’s still the same.”

August’s internal monologue during an encounter with Iris conveys his complex emotional state. He is still drawn to Iris despite how little he knows her. He is trying to balance this logical truth with his intense interest in her. He does not want his infatuation to blind him from reality but also believes that his and Iris’s connection is pure and true. The way he thinks about Iris foreshadows how their relationship will develop over time. Their connection stays “the same” despite temporal and circumstantial barriers to their romance.

“Besides my daughter, whom I don’t think I could love any more than I do now, my life is in shambles. I’m living in a city with no friends or family, completely dependent on my baby’s daddy whom I’m not sure I love. There. I said it. At least in my head I’ve said it. I don’t think I love Caleb.”

Iris’s feelings of isolation in her life with Caleb emphasize The Impact of Violence and Abuse in Romantic Relationships. After she becomes a mother, Iris feels even more alienated in her life with Caleb. She has no personal freedom and is in an unfamiliar place without “friends or family” or a job. These absences intensify Iris’s frustration, ensnaring her in a life that doesn’t feel like her own. In the passage’s final line, Iris has a revelation that foreshadows her attempt to leave Caleb.

“I jeopardized a thirty-million-dollar contract for a woman who lives with another man, has had his baby, and already turned me down? A woman I’ve only seen four times? If I ever see Iris again, I’ll walk the other way. Who am I kidding? In that charged moment Iris and I shared tonight, I couldn’t even look away. What makes me think I could walk away from her?”

The questions that August asks himself in this passage affect an interrogative mood. He is trying to make sense of his feelings for Iris. He knows that his interest in her is illogical but also feels incapable of “walking away from her.” His contradictory feelings and thoughts convey his internal conflict. While he is an established, confident man, August’s love for Iris creates tension in his world and forces him to question who he is and what he wants.

“I’ve never seen this side of him, and I’ve never seen this gun. I’ve been oblivious. It may cost me my life. He brings the gun to my temple. Fear is the calamity of my heartbeat behind my ribs. It’s chaos in my veins, roaring in my ears and rushing to my head. Fear is a signal fire that puts my body on notice.”

Ryan’s use of graphic imagery in her portrayal of Caleb’s abuse points to her desire to raise awareness around domestic violence with her novel. Caleb attempts to make Iris feel that she’s in a subjugated, powerless position, denying her the agency to free herself. The use of figurative language in this passage enacts the intense terror that Iris feels. She describes her emotions as “calamity” beating “behind [her] ribs,” chaos “roaring in [her] ears” and “rushing to [her] head,” and fire surging through her body. This metaphoric language affects a heated, tense narrative atmosphere that mirrors Iris’s circumstances.

“Jared is one of the best agents in sports. If we hadn’t needed to keep our family connection on the low, there’s no way I would have chosen Lloyd as my agent over him. Part of what makes Jared so good is his BS detector. He sees through bullshit excuses and lies from a mile away, but there’s no way I’m telling him I jeopardized my career over a girl, much less one I barely know.”

August’s close connection with his stepbrother conveys the Role of Supportive Relationships in the Healing Process. August and Jared are both family and professional colleagues. Their multidimensional dynamic functions well because the brothers love and trust each other. August’s musing on his connection with Jared foreshadows the influential role that his stepbrother will play in his character growth. Just as Lotus centers Iris, Jared consistently reminds August of who he is and what he wants.

“It’s not enough to run, to get away from Caleb. Even if I run, his lies will hunt me down, and in the end, he’ll have access to Sarai. For me, that’s not winning. That’s not freedom. And when Caleb says he’ll kill me if I leave him, he means it. There’s murder in his eyes, a yet-to-be-pulled trigger. I have to be smarter than that. Smarter than him. He trapped me, and I have to lay a trap for him. My timing has to be perfect.”

Iris’s entrapping relationship with Caleb impedes her journey toward self-empowerment. All Iris has ever wanted is to be independent and free to pursue her own happiness. With Caleb, she lives in constant terror—a fear that robs her of her future and distances her from her true identity. In this passage, Iris is meditating on how she can change her circumstances. Because she is ashamed of her situation, Iris still believes that she has to free herself without help.

“Fuck. I cannot stop wanting this woman. And as Sarai flashes her little dimpled smile up at me, I want her in my life, too. I want too much. I want things I can’t have, things that aren’t mine, but that kid who showed up every Saturday before the community center doors opened, who was always the last to leave the court, he never learned to stop wanting impossible things.”

August’s internal monologue when he sees Iris again affects an urgent, desperate tone. His intense feelings for her haven’t dulled over time. His use of anaphora in this passage enacts his sustained interest in and desire to be with Iris. The repetition of “I want” conveys August’s longing. He knows that these dreams might be “impossible,” but he is reluctant to quash them.

“I want it—want his kiss hard against my lips and his hands gentle and persuasive on my body—but I have too much to lose. Sarai. My life. Everything. And as alive as I feel, as on fire as I am for what his eyes promise, I can’t risk it all. I can’t risk any of it.”

While playing HORSE with August at the community center, Iris’s thoughts vacillate between longing and fear. She is overcome by desire for August. At the same time, her desire is tempered by her terror of losing her baby, her life, and more of her freedom. These competing emotions intensify the narrative atmosphere and reiterate the traumatic impact of domestic violence.

“The mind is a master strategist, knowing instinctively when to advance and when to withdraw. My mind is a haven when the pain is beyond bearing. With no escape in sight, I seek the only freedom left to me—my thoughts, my dreams, and my memories.”

To escape Caleb’s ongoing violence, Iris develops new self-defense mechanisms. In this scene, Iris discovers that she can escape her physical pain by transcending her body and letting her “thoughts,” “dreams,” and “memories” transport her. This passage reiterates the complexities of abusive relationships. Iris has no agency over her body. Her ongoing trauma leaves her no choice but to experience life in new ways simply to survive.

“Can she see? See past the fragile facade I’ve erected to cover the ruins? Can she see that last night and all the nights before? How he ravaged me? Does she know that I feel plundered, like a picked-over battlefield littered with dead bodies? That some days I am dead and that Sarai, taking of her, is the only thing forcing me through the motions of life? When MiMi looks in my eyes, does she see?”

The questions that Iris asks herself while spending time with MiMi convey her ongoing struggle to claim her experience and reconcile with her trauma. At this juncture of the novel, Iris is physically free of Caleb. However, she remains emotionally and psychologically traumatized by his abuse. Iris feels “fragile,” “ruined,” “ravaged,” and “plundered.” This figurative language evokes notions of destruction and death. Iris is still unsure of how to confront her past. Asking these questions is a first step toward healing.

“‘It means that this very spot where we’re standing right now was powerful enough to be a part of that—to help set the new course for the freaking Mississippi River.’ She starts walking back up the shaded path to the house but looks over her shoulder, locking our eyes. ‘Take a few minutes and think about that,’ she says. ‘Don’t let Caleb define the rest of your life. Change your course.’”

Lotus uses a nature metaphor to offer Iris insight into her emotional experience. She encourages Iris to “change her course” just like the Mississippi River changes its course at the delta. This metaphor helps Iris see her past, present, and future anew. The scene also reiterates the role of supportive relationships in the healing process. Lotus is spending time with Iris, investing in her, and offering her counsel and direction.

“‘I should be flattered you made up a job for me, huh?’ Her eyes shimmer with unshed tears. ‘Men always seem to find good use for me, don’t they? What are my responsibilities exactly? Blow jobs under desks, quickies in the copy room? When do I start?’ She drops to her knees in front of me and touches my belt. ‘Now?’ Bitterness sets the lushness of her mouth into a hard line.”

Iris’s behavior and lines of dialogue in this scene convey the sustained psychological and emotional impacts that Caleb’s abuse has had on her. She feels disempowered as soon as she discovers that August played a part in arranging her new life in California. She fears that August will control and manipulate her the way Caleb did because her present experiences are still shadowed by her past trauma.

“‘People have no idea what some women go through behind closed doors or what keeps them there.’ I shake my head. ‘That was me, living a lie and getting beaten up by the truth until I found my way out. And I don’t know if I’ll ever really get over it.’”

Iris speaks up about her abusive relationship with Caleb for the first time. Although Iris admits that she doesn’t know if she will “ever really get over it,” her ability to articulate some of her emotional experience is a sign of healing. She is taking a step toward confronting her trauma by giving voice to her pain.

“I’ve been waiting for permission, but now I’m the one who’s tentative. It’s crazy. We’ve kissed before. Hell, in that closet we did a lot more than that. But there’s something more fragile about her this time. I’m a big guy. I’m sometimes clumsy and not always careful. Whatever is fragile about her, I’d rather die than break.”

August’s internal monologue about his first sexual encounter with Iris reiterates his caring, thoughtful nature. He has waited a long time to be sexually intimate with Iris. However, he does not abuse her openness in this scene. Instead, he engages her with caution and care. He understands that she has been hurt before and does not want to contribute to her pain.

“When I thought of this moment, the moment when I’d have sex again, I thought there would be trepidation. […] But it’s not the pain of that night on my mind. I’m not remembering [Caleb’s] hostile takeover of my body at all. I’m navigating these seas for the first time—waves of want I’ve never ridden. My body is a stranger to me, an imposter wearing my skin but disguised in new urges.”

Iris’s internal monologue during her first sexual encounter with August marks a turning point in her personal growth and healing journeys. Instead of being afraid, Iris feels curious, excited, and empowered. She is experiencing sexual intimacy in a new way for the first time. Her use of figurative language—comparing her desire to “seas” and “waves”—conjures water imagery, which archetypally represents cleansing, healing, and renewal.

“He’s partially right on that score. Why would I want him to know how Caleb ground me to dust? That I allowed it? No matter the reasons or the circumstances, he caged me like an animal, and now that I’m out, I don’t want to revisit my captivity. ‘I just need to do this for myself,’ I say more softly. ‘I don’t want to owe anyone.’”

Iris’s fear of opening up to August about Caleb’s abuse reiterates the complexities of abusive relationships. She hasn’t been with Caleb in some time, and she has already begun a relationship with August. Even still, she remains haunted by the violence she suffered. She has been culturally trained to believe that her victimization is shameful. She hides the truth because she is afraid of how August might see her.

“I should be careful. I don’t want to scare Iris off by making her think I expect her to share her life with me. To share her daughter with me. To move in with me soon. To marry me someday. Though these are all the things I expect. I just need to give her time to get used to them. I have to learn to temper my responses.”

August’s internal monologue underscores his perceptive, patient nature. For over a year, August has known that he wants to be with Iris and create a life and family together. Despite his clear motivations and desires, August is careful not to pressure Iris. His ability to “temper his responses” captures his selfless nature. Further, August’s thoughtfulness gives Iris time to heal.

“‘I’m not your baby. I’m not your girl. I’m not even your baby’s mama because as far as I’m concerned, Sarai’s not yours. […] I used to resent you for making me do all those things at gunpoint,’ I say. ‘But now I realize that’s how the game is played when you know someone doesn’t love you, and you always knew that, didn’t you, Caleb? You knew I didn’t love you before I knew it myself. That’s why you held on so tight.’”

Iris’s ability to speak up to Caleb conveys her growth. This scene of dialogue marks a pivotal moment in her journey toward self-empowerment. For over a year, Caleb subjugated, violated, and abused Iris. Even after their breakup, Iris has lived in fear and shame over what happened. In this scene, however, she asserts herself and stands up to Caleb. She articulates her experience and holds Caleb accountable for his behavior. Iris’s ability to use her voice shows her newfound confidence in herself and desire to transcend Caleb’s power over her.

“‘You have Sarai. You have August. You have me. You had MiMi,’ she says vehemently. ‘One person in your life was an asshole, and you evicted him as soon as you could. I’m proud of you.’”

Lotus’s address to Iris reiterates the important role of supportive relationships in the healing process. Lotus is again fulfilling the role of the archetypal guide. She is speaking to Iris in a clear, direct manner, offering her encouragement, support, and validation. Her words bolster Iris during a tenuous emotional moment.

“She’s my Iris, but I’ve never seen her like this. I thought I had seen all her sides, loved all her sides, but I’ve never seen this. Ruthless and beautiful and bloodied, she emanates all the strength and determination it must have taken her to survive. And I’ve never loved her more.”

August’s ability to see Iris as her own person underscores his deep and abiding love for her. Even though she is “bloodied” and wounded in this scene, August recognizes her beauty and strength. He feels proud of her because he knows that she has overcome unthinkable violence to free herself.