57 pages • 1-hour read
Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How it Affects Us All
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Chapters 9-10Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 9 Summary: “Men Who Don’t Know They Hate Women”
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of gender discrimination, bullying, sexual violence and harassment, graphic violence, physical abuse, and emotional abuse.
In Chapter 9, Bates describes her experiences visiting schools to talk about sexism since starting the Everyday Sexism Project. She reflects how, in the early days since starting the project, her school talks were met with some resistance from boys who were rowdy, disruptive, or dismissive. However, these boys eventually came around when they realized a conversation about sexism was not necessarily an attack on them.
However, Bates notes she has experienced a troubling shift. More recently, there are frequently a handful of boys who arrive at her school talks armed with false statistics and questions to challenge her claims about sexism and even her lived experience of sexual assault. They spout the manosphere talking points she has become familiar with during her research for this book. These boys all claim they heard these ideas online. When Bates interviewed parents and teenagers for this book, several young men confirmed that their peers are hearing negative messages about women and feminism from the internet and social media and that they feel threatened by the advances of feminism.
Bates says young people spend the majority of their days on the internet and most are exposed to violent, misogynistic pornography at a young age. Sexual violence and sexism have become normalized, which leads to real-life acts of harassment and assault—these are often not appropriately dealt with by schools and teachers. Bates has noted a rise in manosphere ideology among teenagers in the UK, and young women who identify as feminists face more frequent harassment. In a conversation with Ben Hurst from the Good Lad Initiative—an organization that involves men and boys in conversations about gender equality—he and Bates estimated that as many as 70% of adolescent boys have come into contact with manosphere ideology, most commonly through memes and online jokes. Many meme accounts on social media are rife with sexist, transphobia, and racism.
Significantly fewer adolescent boys are directly immersed in manosphere forums.
Additionally, YouTube is a major platform through which teenagers come into contact with manosphere ideology. Bates explains that YouTube’s algorithm plays a significant role in promoting extremist content to young viewers. The platform prioritizes content that keeps users watching for longer, as this generates more ad revenue. As a result, YouTube’s algorithm inadvertently pushes misogynistic and racist content, keeping users engaged and nudging them from seemingly innocuous videos to more extreme and harmful ideas.
Through the YouTube algorithm and other social media sites, young men are funneled from memes and joke content into more extreme ideas without even realizing it. Popular manosphere websites even directly target teenagers and boys, some as young as 10, indoctrinating them into their cause at an age when they are most vulnerable to having their worldviews shaped. Even seemingly innocuous forums—like bodybuilding and gaming communities—are breeding grounds for misogyny. However, despite the widespread nature of this grooming, Bates points out that misogynistic extremism is often overlooked or downplayed, unlike other forms of radicalization, such as Islamic extremism.
The indoctrination of boys and young men is rampant and widespread, yet it slips completely under the radar of parents, teachers, and government. Bates notes that the boys she encounters in schools “don’t even know they hate women” (328); they are so immersed in misogynistic content that it has become normalized and they do not recognize it as hate. By failing to acknowledge the widespread reaches of the manosphere, Bates argues, boys and young men risk falling victim to the deliberately manipulative radicalization and fearmongering attempts by the manosphere.
Chapter 10 Summary: “Men Who Hate Men Who Hate Women”
In Chapter 10, Bates argues that the solution to the complex problem of widespread misogyny does not lie in a singular, simple intervention. Rather, it must be approached from multiple angles, including governmental policy, societal norms, and individual actions.
Bates begins by pointing out the critical gap between how violent misogyny is addressed, as compared to other forms of extremism, like white nationalism or Islamic terrorism. She highlights the fact that governments and institutions do not take misogynistic violence as seriously as terrorism, despite its clear patterns and escalation. Even extreme online hate speech that can lead to real-life violence is treated as an isolated issue rather than as part of a broader pattern of radicalization. Bates argues that this type of extremism should be treated with the same urgency and seriousness as other forms of terrorism, given its potential to foster real harm, especially to women. She specifically points out that domestic abuse—what she calls “the horrifyingly normal, everyday form of terrorism” (341)—is often overlooked, despite its widespread prevalence and dire consequences. She says domestic abuse must be recognized as a form of terrorism, and society should shift its response to it, emphasizing prevention and systemic action.
In addition to focusing on violent misogyny, Bates explores the negative effects that the manosphere has on men, particularly in the way it promotes rigid gender roles and victimizes men by reinforcing toxic stereotypes. She critiques the manosphere for exploiting men’s insecurities and pushing them into a cycle of anger, isolation, and misogyny. Bates underscores the importance of tackling these harmful stereotypes about masculinity as a means of combating the manosphere’s influence. She argues that dismantling these stereotypes is one of the most effective ways to disrupt the cycle of misogyny, prevent the spread of extremist ideologies, and reshape what it means to be a man in modern society.
Bates also highlights the work of organizations and individuals who are actively fighting against the manosphere’s influence by providing support for men and boys. She points to specific men and organizations that are taking positive steps to promote equality, challenge traditional gender norms, and create spaces for men to express vulnerability and seek help. These efforts, she believes, are crucial in providing an alternative narrative to the one pushed by the manosphere and helping boys and men navigate a healthier path free from harmful ideologies.
Bates also emphasizes the role of parents and educators in combating this widespread issue. She challenges parents to take a more active role in understanding the content their children are consuming online. With the rapid rise of social media and the ease with which young people are exposed to misogynistic content, Bates urges parents to become more involved in their children’s digital lives. By engaging with the content their children are exposed to, parents can better understand the harmful ideas that might be influencing their children’s worldview.
She also calls for more responsibility from social media platforms, particularly YouTube, in addressing the problems created by their algorithms. She discusses how the algorithm, which prioritizes engagement, often pushes extremist content—including misogynistic videos—because it generates more watch time. Bates criticizes YouTube for its failure to take meaningful action against the spread of hate speech and harassment on its platform, and she stresses that social media companies must be held accountable for the ways their algorithms perpetuate harmful ideologies.
In conclusion, Bates proposes that addressing the issue of misogyny, both online and in real life, requires a multifaceted approach. Governments must treat misogynistic violence as seriously as terrorism; societal norms must shift to embrace healthier, more flexible definitions of masculinity; and individuals, especially parents, must become more proactive in addressing the content their children consume. Bates acknowledges that change is a slow process but tackling these issues at the structural, societal, and individual levels is key to reducing the influence of the manosphere and creating a culture where misogyny is no longer normalized or tolerated.
Chapters 9-10 Analysis
In Chapters 9 and 10, Bates proposes a multifaceted intervention strategy to address the problem of misogyny at various levels, from government action to individual responsibility. These chapters conclude her exploration of misogyny’s harmful effects on both women and men and emphasizes the need for systemic change to combat this deeply entrenched issue.
Bates’s tone throughout these chapters is notably urgent, which underscores the importance of intervention to prevent the perpetuation of dangerous misogynistic beliefs. She combines matter-of-fact analysis with emotional appeals that are grounded in her lived experience; this strategy engages her audience intellectually and emotionally. For instance, Bates shares her personal experiences of speaking to young people about sexism, using anecdotal evidence to illustrate how young men are becoming increasingly immersed in misogynistic ideologies. She reflects on how boys are now armed with misleading statistics and arguments borrowed directly from the manosphere, and this helps to highlight the consequences and the rapid spread of unchecked misogyny. She describes how these boys “don’t even know they hate women” (328), evoking a sense of urgency to highlight how these beliefs have become normalized to an extent that young men no longer recognize them as harmful.
This section further develops the theme of The Spread of Misogynistic Ideals Through Online Communities, specifically examining how these communities target young men and even children. Bates criticizes online platforms like YouTube, showing that their algorithms prioritize content views, even when that means promoting extremist content. She argues that the design of these platforms is inadvertently fostering harmful ideologies. She says social media platforms must rectify their failure to address these issues, highlighting how their prioritization of engagement over content moderation allows misogynistic ideas to proliferate.
Chapter 10 provides an in-depth exploration of Strategies for Combatting Online and Offline Misogyny. Bates advocates for a multi-faceted approach, urging action at the government, societal, and individual levels. At the governmental level, Bates argues that misogynistic violence should be treated with the same urgency and seriousness as terrorism, criticizing the inconsistency with which such violence is handled, compared with other forms of extremism, such as Islamic and white nationalist terrorism. She argues that categorizing misogynistic violence as terrorism would accurately reflect its ideological nature and facilitate preventative measures.
Building on the theme of The Manosphere’s Impact on Men and Boys, Bates calls for a societal shift in how masculinity is defined, advocating for the dismantling of rigid gender stereotypes that contribute to the manosphere’s influence. She argues that young men, particularly those vulnerable to the influence of the manosphere, are trapped in a cycle of anger and isolation—they are pushed into extremism by societal expectations of masculinity. By highlighting the negative effects of the manosphere on men, Bates broadens the scope of her critique: She shows that misogyny is not only harmful to women but also to the men who become indoctrinated in these toxic beliefs. Her call to redefine masculinity seeks to dismantle the very foundations of the manosphere.
Bates also emphasizes the importance of individual responsibility in combating misogyny, particularly among parents and educators. She calls on adult caregivers to take a more active role in understanding the content that children consume online. This plea for individual action is an important rhetorical strategy, as it appeals to her audience’s sense of personal responsibility. This complements Bates’s systemic critique and reinforces the idea that combatting misogyny is not solely the task of institutions.
The structure of Chapters 9 and 10 is also significant in developing these themes. Chapter 9 continues illustrating the scope of the problem, with Bates sharing her experiences of speaking to young people and how the manosphere is infiltrating their worldview. She builds a sense of urgency by emphasizing how widespread and normalized the issue has become, particularly among young men. In contrast, Chapter 10 transitions into offering potential solutions to the problem. Her ideas are organized around three key areas: government action, societal change, and individual responsibility. This clear structure allows Bates to address the issue from multiple angles, reinforcing the idea that combating misogyny requires a multifaceted approach.
In these concluding chapters, Men Who Hate Women is not just an examination of the pervasive issue of violent misogynistic extremism, but a call to collective action. In particular, Bates calls on men to aid in the fight against misogyny by questioning their own beliefs around masculinity and challenging the normalization of misogynistic hate speech. She argues that the fight against misogyny requires more than just awareness—it demands systemic change and collective responsibility.
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