Chapter 1 explores the online incel community. Though incels have gained greater attention in recent years due to a spate of violent attacks carried out in the name of the movement, Bates says they are a relatively unknown and underestimated segment of the manosphere. Their beliefs and ideology are violent and often bizarre, and many laugh them off as a small group of extremist “online weirdos” (1). However, the incel community has been responsible for the death or injury of over 100 women between 2010 and 2020. They are a group defined by their violent hatred of women and their anger at being denied sex. 

Taking on the false identity of a 24-year-old man named “Alex,” Bates infiltrated online incel communities. She witnessed firsthand how vulnerable young men who are unhappy and frustrated with being single are indoctrinated with messages that women are the source of all men’s problems and that men are the real victims in society, while women hold all of the power and privilege. Bates uses “Alex” to show how frustrated young men can find these communities attractive; they come to see themselves as underdogs fighting against an evil system and become part of a community united in a common cause.

“Incel” is a portmanteau of “involuntarily celibate,” and the incel community was originally an online support group for people struggling to find love. However, it has morphed into a violently misogynistic movement. Men can stumble across these ideologies in a variety of ways, such as in chat rooms and message boards or through social media and YouTube algorithms promoting the content. Indoctrination into incel ideology begins with “taking the red pill,” a metaphor used to describe the shift in perspective in which an incel realizes that male privilege is a myth, and the world is actually stacked against him. 

Bates acknowledges that men are indeed suffering from unique challenges and cites some of the significant issues they face, including a lack of mental health support and greater risk of suicide compared to women. This is partly what makes the manosphere tricky to tackle—it can encompass some well-meaning groups. While the incel community is made up of men from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds, they share a “craving to belong” (8).

Incels are particularly preoccupied with sex and the “sexual marketplace,” which they view as unfairly skewed in women’s favor while the majority of men are ignored and sexually frustrated. Bates also discusses the racist, alt-right underpinnings of this movement and notes the overlap between these two communities—in particular, the belief that white identity is under threat by multiculturalism, with some members advocating for ensuring the “purity” of the white race by sexually enslaving white women and denying reproductive autonomy to women of other races. 

Bates says that incels tend to fall into two large categories: Those who work to improve themselves and their standing in the sexual marketplace (through “looksmaxxing” and working out), thus transcending their inceldom; and those who have given up and resigned themselves to their fate at the bottom of the sexual hierarchy (known as “blackpillers”). Bates describes her firsthand experiences on incel forums and the online discussions she witnessed—men debating whether women should even be considered human, encouraging other men to take their own lives, giving advice on how to get away with sexual assault, and arguing for the legality of rape and sexual slavery.

The incel community, Bates argues, is more than an extremist fringe group. Their numbers are vastly underestimated, and they have caused real-life harm in the form of mass shootings and other violent, targeted attacks against women. The most famous of these attacks is a mass shooting carried out by Elliot Rodger. He shared a lengthy manifesto describing his hatred of women before carrying out a violent attack at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and dying by suicide. His actions went on to inspire other incels to commit similar acts of mass violence, and these killers are worshipped and revered within the incel community. Bates notes that even when these violent attacks occur, the explicitly gendered nature of the crimes is often overlooked or denied. She says that incel forums and chat rooms desensitize their members to violently misogynistic language and discussions, and the cult-like nature of the incel community makes it difficult to escape.

Chapter 2 covers the phenomenon of “pickup artists” (PUAs). Pickup artistry is a thriving industry of men coaching other men on how to talk to and eventually sleep with women. They appear distinct from incels, and the groups are in fact somewhat disdainful of each other. PUAs are defined by their relentless pursuit of sex, which contrasts with incels’ fatalist belief that the sexual marketplace is rigged. However, there are many similarities between the PUA community and the incel community, like the dehumanization of women, the preoccupation with heterosexual sex as “the pinnacle of male achievement” (61), and a shared sense of entitlement to sex. 

Though seemingly harmless at first glance, PUA advice—which is usually targeted toward shy, awkward, or romantically unsuccessful men—is often deeply misogynistic and advocates for harassment or even assault and rape. Bates provides specific examples of PUA’s most prominent figures openly admitting to rape and sexual harassment or promoting it. These “gurus” sell advice and trainings in the form of books, courses, and seminars, which frequently sell out. Their advice is laced with misogyny and encourages men to ignore women’s resistance to their advances and coerce them into sexual acts, viewing them as sexual objects to be mastered and controlled. 

Many men who stumble upon this advice may be genuinely looking to improve their dating experiences and relationships with women, but they end up in communities where sexual harassment and outright sexual assault are not only normalized, but encouraged, often through the lens of the “alpha male” stereotype of asserting control and dominance over women. Because of their public perception as harmless, charming, or funny—images perpetuated by media and stereotypes—the violently misogynistic nature of PUAs is downplayed, and these groups receive more attention in the public sphere than the incel community despite espousing many of the same beliefs. Bates says harmful, extremist incel ideas can “cross over seamlessly” into the mainstream through the more publicly accepted PUAs (68).

Like the incel community and other areas of the manosphere, the PUA community promotes racist stereotypes about different “types” of women, hostility toward the LGBTQ community, and various justifications for rape, such as the claim that men are entitled to sex and that women “secretly fantasize about being raped” (77). Bates goes on to trace the development and continuous growth of the practice of PUA and explores popular pickup gurus and their harmful messaging. Similar to incels, PUAs frame themselves as victims and claim that political correctness is attempting to silence them. However, in spite of this claim, pickup artistry continues to be a booming industry, with prominent PUAs maintaining thriving platforms and selling courses and trainings for thousands of dollars. Bates infiltrated the online forums dedicated to PUA, in which men swap stories of their “conquests,” describe instances of rape and sexual assault, and share photos and videos of women taken without their consent.

Even in the face of backlash or criticism, these “gurus” continue to thrive and draw millions of male supporters. Thus, Bates refers to PUAs as “the most acceptable face of the manosphere” (95).