Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How it Affects Us All

Bates’s primary argument in Men Who Hate Women is that misogynistic hate speech must be treated as a serious societal threat because it has the potential to escalate into real-world violence. She illustrates that normalizing such rhetoric within online communities fosters a societal bias against women, making gender-based violence seem more acceptable.

Bates explains how online hate speech against women becomes mainstreamed through humor, memes, and coded language, which desensitize people to violent ideologies. By using digital platforms to disguise violent rhetoric as humor or irony, misogynistic groups make their ideas appear less dangerous, enabling them to spread and permeate mainstream culture without serious scrutiny. She references online communities like the incel forums, which she witnessed firsthand, where violent, explicit hate speech about women is normalized and commonplace. Frequent exposure to dehumanizing language about women makes users more susceptible to internalizing these views and even acting upon them in the real world.

Bates challenges the belief that online hate speech is “just words,” arguing instead that online misogyny often results in real-life harassment and violence and that the normalization of hate speech perpetuates a culture of violence against women. She highlights the experiences of female journalists, activists, and public figures who have faced relentless online abuse that escalated to offline stalking and violence. By demonstrating how perpetrators progress from verbal abuse to physical violence, she underscores the necessity of addressing online hate speech as a legitimate threat.

Bates further explains how perpetrators who commit acts of misogynistic violence are often idolized in manosphere communities, which encourages further acts of violence. She discusses the case of Elliot Rodger, who killed six people in a misogyny-fueled attack and became an icon in incel communities; additionally, Alek Minassian, who later committed the Toronto van attack, explicitly praised Rodger. Online platforms often celebrate these killers, reinforcing their violent ideology and inspiring copycats. Bates emphasizes how the glorification of these acts creates a vicious cycle of violence, with online users egging each other on. By connecting these violent incidents to the ideology that preceded them, Bates stresses the necessity for proactive intervention when hate speech proliferates online since it is a precursor to real-world violence.

Though Men Who Hate Women focuses on exposing the toxic culture of the manosphere and the pervasiveness of misogyny, Bates also presents strategies for combating misogyny both in online spaces and in real life. She calls for active intervention from individuals, institutions, and digital platforms to counteract the spread of misogynistic ideology.

A key aspect of Bates’s proposed strategy is addressing the role of social media in amplifying misogyny. She highlights how algorithms on platforms like YouTube recommend increasingly extreme content, facilitating the spread of harmful ideologies; Bates argues that tech companies have a responsibility to adjust these algorithms and limit the circulation of extremist content. Rather than maintaining a “hands-off” approach under the guise of protecting free speech, she believes that platforms should implement stronger content moderation and transparency in their algorithms.

Additionally, Bates underscores the responsibility of parents and educators in preventing radicalization. She advocates monitoring children’s online activity, stressing that parents must actively engage with the content their children consume to prevent exposure to harmful ideologies. By fostering open conversations about online media and critical thinking, adults can help children recognize and reject misogynistic messages. This preventative approach acknowledges the growing influence of digital spaces in shaping young people’s worldviews.

Beyond social media, Bates critiques the role of traditional media in legitimizing misogynistic rhetoric. She argues that framing extremist views as a valid side of a “debate” normalizes and amplifies harmful beliefs. For example, media outlets often invite figures from the manosphere to participate in discussions about gender relations, granting them a platform to spread their views. Bates condemns this practice, emphasizing that this type of exposure undermines efforts to combat gender-based violence.

Furthermore, Bates examines how media coverage of misogynistic killers, such as Elliot Rodger, often downplays the ideological motivations behind their actions. She notes that news stories frequently focus on the perpetrators’ personal issues rather than acknowledging the misogynistic beliefs that fueled their violence. This narrative diminishes the severity of the ideological threat and frames these acts of violence as isolated incidents rather than the result of systemic misogyny. Bates argues that accurately identifying and discussing the role of misogyny in these cases is essential to preventing future violence.

Bates acknowledges that misogyny is a complex issue, and thus requires equally complex solutions. However, she asserts that by implementing the strategies she outlines, society can begin to dismantle the harmful ideologies perpetuated by the manosphere and foster a culture that rejects violence and hatred against women.