Michael Without Apology

The novel shifts back in time. Seven-year-old Michael is spending the Fourth of July with his birth parents, Livie and Miles Costa, and his brother, Thomas Costa. Their parents keep leaving Michael and Thomas alone on the beach while returning to the car.

During one of their absences, Thomas dares Michael to steal a fireworks rocket and set it off. Michael is confused and scared but accepts the dare, as he always feels pressured by Thomas. When the adults head back to the beach, Michael throws his body onto the lit rocket, unaware that Thomas lit the fuse. The rocket goes off in his arms. Michael looks up to see an unfamiliar man’s face standing over him before he loses consciousness.

Michael wakes up in the hospital nine days later. He is covered in bandages and feels groggy. A Child Protective Services (CPS) agent enters and informs Michael that his parents can’t come to see him. They’ve been arrested for failing to care for him.

Michael wakes up again, this time to Dr. Banerjee. He explains that Michael was severely injured by the firework and has undergone several surgeries so far. He then asks Michael questions about himself, his life, and current events. Michael remembers his and his parents’ names but not the year. Dr. Banerjee assures Michael a woman named Ms. Keller will come talk to him about his parents. Afterward, Michael’s roommate, Jeffrey, engages Michael in conversation. He was injured by a firework, too. Michael appreciates his honesty. He comforts him about his parents and encourages him not to look at his hands until they’re more healed.

Later, Michael wakes up, and Jeffrey is gone. Ms. Keller visits. She explains that Michael’s parents were arrested for endangering and neglecting him. He will now go to live with foster parents, Judy and Charles Woodbine. Thomas will be going to a different foster home because CPS sees him as “a bad influence” on Michael (38).

Back in the present, Michael tells his adoptive parents about his film class and the documentary he plans to make. Judy gets upset when he reveals that his chosen topic is scars. Charles calms her down and suggests helping Michael buy a camera. After dinner, Michael and Charles further discuss Michael’s project. Charles reassures Michael that it’s okay to talk about hard things and reminds him of how much Judy loves and wants to protect him. Michael opens up about his admiration for Mr. Dunning.

Michael meets with Mr. Dunning about his documentary, which he plans to call Here I Am—Get Used to It. He will interview people with scars and tape their stories. He asks Dunning to be one of his subjects. He promises to consider and helps Michael come up with ideas to start the project.

Michael then makes a sign calling for volunteer subjects for his film. The ad asks for people who worry about their bodies and appearances.

Early the next morning, Michael receives a call from Rex Aronfeld, a man interested in participating in Michael’s film. He explains his fraught relationship with his body: While he was once an Olympian, he is now 103 years old. He tells Michael his whole story and agrees to volunteer for the project.

Later, Michael gets a call from a man who identifies himself as Freddie. He explains that he doesn’t like his body because he’s tall and too skinny. People have always teased him; he feels ugly and like it’s impossible for him to date. Then, a woman named Tanya calls to explain her negative relationship with her belly.

Michael tells Mr. Dunning that the interested subjects aren’t what he expected for his film. They discuss the issue, and Dunning encourages Michael to follow the direction that the universe is sending him in.

The narrative shifts back to the past. A year into Michael’s foster care with the Woodbines, Judy and Charles announce that they’d like to adopt Michael. They explain that the court might not honor their petition but wanted to inform Michael of their plans and desires. Michael is confused, as he thought that he’d eventually return home to his biological parents. He realizes that home is with the Woodbines but still feels upset.

A few months later, the Woodbines explain that the adoption has gone through. The Costas ended up agreeing to the arrangement because they wanted Michael to have a happy home. Michael gets upset when he learns that Thomas got to return home to their parents. He closes himself in his room and cries.

Charles comes to sit with Michael, offering to let him see the Costas to ask about the situation if he likes. Michael insists that he doesn’t want to see them if they don’t want him home.

Not long later, Charles gives Michael a letter from the Costas. A furious, hurt Michael tears the letter up and flushes it down the toilet at school.