Michael Without Apology

Michael Without Apology (2025) is a novel by Catherine Ryan Hyde. The novel is a coming-of-age tale about protagonist Michael Woodbine. When Michael is seven years old, he is severely injured in a fireworks accident due to his parents’ neglect. He is swiftly put into the foster care system and sent to live with Judy and Charles Woodbine. Although Michael loves the Woodbines, he struggles to reconcile with his parents’ abandonment. In college, Michael starts making films and discovers a potential outlet for exploring his fraught childhood past. Written from the third-person point of view, the novel explores Healing From Trauma Via Artistic Creation, The Ongoing Struggle for Self-Acceptance, and Community and Friends as a Source of Strength.

This guide refers to the 2025 Lake Union/Amazon Publishing paperback edition.

Content Warning: The source material and guide feature depictions of illness, death, child death, child abuse, bullying, addiction, substance use, and sexual content.

Plot Summary

The novel is written from the third-person point of view and alternates between sections set in the past and present. For the sake of clarity, the following summary presents a more linear account of the narrative.

Michael Costa is seven years old when he; his brother, Thomas Costa; and his birth parents, Livie and Miles Costa, go to the beach for the Fourth of July. Livie and Miles repeatedly leave the beach to return to the car, leaving their boys unattended. During one of their absences, Thomas dares Michael to steal and set off a rocket firework. Michael is scared but takes the dare. When a group of adults, including a firefighter, suddenly appear on the beach, Michael throws himself on top of the rocket to hide it. He is unaware that Thomas lit the rocket’s fuse, and it goes off under his chest, belly, and arms.

Michael is hospitalized, undergoes several surgeries, and is laid up for weeks. He soon discovers that his parents have been arrested for child endangerment. Child Protective Services puts him into the foster care system, and he moves in with his new foster parents, Judy and Charles Woodbine. A year later, the Woodbines inform Michael of their plans to adopt him. Michael loves his new parents but is devastated to learn that Thomas got to go home to Livie and Miles. He is also angry that his parents are voluntarily giving him up.

Years later, Michael is 19 years old and just starting college. He signs up for a film course, where he meets the professor, Mr. Robert Dunning. Michael is immediately taken by Dunning: He has visible scarring all over his face, neck, head, and hands. Michael is shocked that he is so open about his scars and injuries. Dunning starts the class by inviting his students to look at his scars, insisting that they’re nothing to be ashamed of. He also encourages his students to make films that mean something and have something to say.

After class, Michael stays late to talk to Mr. Dunning. He shows him his scars on his chest, inciting a conversation. Over coffee, Michael opens up to Dunning about his past. He explains that his scars have made him want to hide for as long as he can remember. He admires Dunning for his confidence and assuredness and wants to be more like him. He also wonders if he could make a film featuring people with scars and exploring ideas about self-consciousness.

Michael sets out to make a documentary short called Here I Am—Get Used to It, a title inspired by something Mr. Dunning said on the first day of film class. Michael posts an ad seeking volunteer interview subjects for the project in the student union. He soon gets several respondents. He is excited that people are interested in participating in his film but is disappointed by his volunteers’ stories. People including Rex Aronfeld, Tim, and Tanya don’t have visible scars but are instead eager to talk about their aging processes, weights, and physiques. Michael goes to Dunning about the matter; his teacher encourages him to follow the direction that the project is going in.

A 30-year-old attractive student named Madeleine responds to Michael’s ad, too. She has breast cancer and recently had a mastectomy. Michael agrees to feature her story and accepts her invitation to use her home for filming. Later, Michael goes to Madeleine’s house to see the space. The two talk and flirt, agreeing that they’re interested in each other. Madeleine says that they can have a fling, but she can’t commit to anything else. They end up having sex. It’s Michael’s first time, and he’s moved by how life-changing physical intimacy can be.

Michael then starts filming his interviews. He is amazed by his subjects’ stories and excited about how the project is turning out. He interviews Madeleine and is shocked to discover that she only has a year to live. She then interviews him, and he becomes emotional about the fireworks accident, his parents’ abandonment, and Madeleine’s cancer.

Michael submits the film for class. With Mr. Dunning’s encouragement, he then submits Here I Am to various film festivals. He eventually gets a call from Netflix and begins working with their editors and producers. He travels to Los Angeles, California, and the film soon appears on the streaming platform. Over the following months, Here I Am receives more and more positive feedback. Around this time, Madeleine passes away.

Then, one day, Michael receives a letter from the Costas. They saw his film and want to meet up in order to “correct” Michael’s understanding of his childhood. A furious Michael has no interest in seeing them but does get in touch with Thomas. Thomas explains that Michael got the better end of the deal because returning home to their parents was nightmarish. Livie and Miles are still people with substance addictions, and Thomas suffered as a result.

Michael meets up with Livie and Miles at a restaurant. During the frustrating visit, he realizes that the Costas are selfish people who never cared for him or Thomas.

Michael starts dating a young woman named Caroline. Over the next few years, they fall in love and start a life and family together. Michael continues making films, all of which receive recognition in the film world. Michael is thankful for his new life.