Mika in Real Life

The novel opens with a prologue framed as a letter from Mika Suzuki, a 35-year-old Japanese American woman, to her biological daughter, Penny. Writing from a hospital room where Penny lies in the bed, Mika recounts giving birth at 19, signing the adoption papers, and surrendering her baby. She promises to always be waiting. A time marker indicates the main story begins seven months earlier.

Mika is fired from her job as a copy assistant at a Portland law firm. While shopping, she receives a call from Penelope Calvin, the daughter she placed for adoption 16 years ago. Penny found Mika through an online search service and asks to keep talking. At home, Mika confides in her best friend and housemate, Hana, who reassures her that Penny will care about who Mika is, not what she has accomplished.

A church visit reveals Mika's fraught family dynamics. Her mother, Hiromi, is a perfectionist and former maiko, or geisha apprentice, who moved reluctantly from Japan when Mika was six. Her father, Shige, is kind but defers to his wife. A flashback shows Hiromi responding to Mika's pregnancy with cold disappointment, calling adoption "probably best." The subject became unspeakable in the family.

On their first video call, Mika sees Penny for the first time in 16 years and is struck by their resemblance. When Penny asks about Mika's job, Mika impulsively lies, claiming she quit to open her own art gallery. Over three weeks, the lies multiply: Mika invents a gallery career, a devoted boyfriend (her ex, Leif), world travels, and a college art degree. Then Penny announces she has bought a plane ticket to visit Portland for spring break.

Thomas Calvin, Penny's adoptive father and a copyright attorney, agrees to accompany Penny. Mika, Hana, and their friends decide to fabricate the fake life rather than confess. They transform Hana's cluttered house, stage doctored travel photographs, and recruit Leif to pose as Mika's boyfriend. Leif offers a warehouse studio where his friend Stanley, a sculptor, works, allowing Mika to set up a fake gallery.

During the five-day visit, Mika draws on genuine art knowledge at the Portland Art Museum, where Penny tears up at a Degas ballet painting because her late adoptive mother, Caroline Calvin, who died of cancer five years earlier, used to call her "little dancer." Penny confides that growing up with white parents in Dayton, Ohio, left her feeling disconnected from her Japanese identity. Letters Caroline enclosed with annual adoption updates paint a vivid portrait of Penny's childhood, contrasting with the terse notes Thomas sent after Caroline's death. During the visit, Mika begins to see Thomas as more than Penny's stern guardian, particularly after he shares stories of raising Penny alone.

The visit culminates in disaster at the gallery opening. Hiromi arrives unexpectedly and reveals that Mika received a loan for job-hunting, not for running a gallery. Penny confronts Mika, who confesses everything: the firing, the fake gallery, the fake relationship, and her eight-year business degree. Thomas wraps an arm around a tearful Penny and leads her away.

Through a dream and flashback, the novel reveals the trauma at the center of Mika's life. During her freshman year of college, a graduate student in her art program named Peter drugged her drink and raped her. The assault caused Mika to abandon painting, switch her major, and close herself off emotionally for 16 years. Penny was conceived that night. Mika races to the airport but arrives too late and leaves a raw voicemail apologizing and explaining why she lied.

After three days of silence, Penny calls. She asks why Mika did not keep her, and Mika explains she wanted Penny to have everything she could never provide. When Penny asks about her biological father, Mika says there are things she cannot yet discuss. They agree to keep talking, but the relationship shifts to careful, deliberate rebuilding.

Mika reconstructs her life. Through Hayato Nakaya, a friend from church, she lands a job at Nike. She brings her parents a partial repayment check. Penny gets into a summer running program at the University of Portland and returns to Portland. Mika picks her up in her real car, a rusted Corolla. Dinner at her parents' house connects Penny to her Japanese heritage: Shige teaches her to use chopsticks, and Hiromi warms to her granddaughter. In Mika's old bedroom, Penny discovers sketch pads of gouache portraits and asks why Mika stopped painting. Mika tells her, "I gave all my colors to you" (214).

Mika and Thomas's relationship deepens through nightly phone calls and outings, including a kayaking trip that reconnects Thomas with the rowing he loved in college. They agree to keep the relationship private until it becomes real. Mika teaches Penny the Bon-Odori, a traditional dance performed at the Obon festival honoring ancestors. At Hiromi's house, Mika's mother dresses Penny and Mika in yukatas, lightweight summer kimonos, securing a family heirloom pin in Penny's hair. Three generations of Suzuki women gaze at their reflection. After the festival, Thomas gives Mika two gifts at her house: a heartfelt letter and a set of oil paints to encourage her to reclaim her art. They make love. Penny arrives unannounced, finds them together, and is furious, accusing Mika of trying to replace her dead mother. She storms out to a college party and drinks excessively. At two in the morning, the emergency room calls Thomas: Penny has alcohol poisoning.

At the hospital where Penny was born, Penny lashes out. Mika tells Thomas their relationship cannot work, and Thomas reluctantly takes Penny home to Ohio.

Mika drives to find Hana, who tells her she deserves to exist and take up space. Back in Portland, Mika tells Hiromi for the first time that she was raped. Hiromi dismisses it, but Mika finds release in having spoken the truth aloud. She discovers the oil paints Thomas gave her, dabs yellow ochre on her finger, and feels the spell begin to lift. She buys art supplies, choosing lavender spike oil instead of turpentine to avoid the scent associated with her assault, and paints for a week: nine canvases reimagining European masterpieces with the people in her life. The tenth is a Degas-style ballerina, unmistakably Japanese, en pointe with her face turned toward the light, evoking both Caroline's nickname for Penny and Hiromi's dream for Mika. She sends it to Penny with the letter from the prologue and books a solo trip to Paris.

With Leif's help, Mika exhibits her nine remaining paintings at the warehouse studio during First Thursday, Portland's monthly gallery walk. Penny appears unexpectedly, carrying the dancer painting to add to the show. She tells Mika it reminds her of both her moms. Penny admits she is angry at everyone, and Mika tells her she has been focused on finding rather than grieving what she lost: a mother who died and a mother who gave her away. They hang the dancer painting as the tenth piece, completing the collection. Thomas arrives, tells Mika her work is amazing, and asks her out for coffee. Mika glances at Penny, who gives a slight nod. Mika walks through the door with Thomas behind her.

The novel's final pages present the letter Caroline wrote for Penny's sixteenth birthday, the catalyst for the entire story. Caroline recounts Penny's childhood, confesses her fears of inadequacy as an adoptive mother, and gives Penny her blessing to find her birth mother, including Mika's name and the location of the adoption paperwork. She tells Penny that being a parent means loving something and letting it go.