51 pages • 1-hour read
Mile High (Windy City, #1)
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Themes
The Lingering Impact of Trauma
Throughout the novel, the two protagonists’ traumatic pasts illustrate the myriad ways in which past issues can impact present behavior. For Zanders, his fraught relationship with his parents and his infamous hockey reputation influence his behavior in his adult life. Likewise, Stevie’s unhealthy relationships with her ex-boyfriend, Brett, and her hypercritical mother continue to impact her self-esteem. Both characters continue to suffer from the long-term effects of their trauma, and the interpersonal, vocational, and familial aspects of their lives suffer as a result, especially when they attempt to compartmentalize their past experiences and avoid the associated pain. Over time, however, these unresolved traumas weigh on their hearts and affect their relationships.
Both protagonists begin to change and grow when they gain the courage to confront their trauma. Ever since he was a young man, Zanders has “hated [him]self for a whole lot of [...] reasons” (2). His lingering resentment over his mother’s physical abandonment and his father’s emotional abandonment fuels his angry outbursts and panic attacks in the present, and he also continues to hold onto his anger and bitterness toward his parents without addressing the underlying issues. However, Zanders takes the first step toward healing when he starts seeing his therapist, and over time, his sessions with Eddie and his loving relationships with Stevie, Eli Maddison, and Logan Maddison encourage him to make positive life changes. Most importantly, he learns that he is “[s]omeone who is mentally strong” (156) and is capable of fostering close relationships with others. The novel therefore illustrates Zanders’s internal changes via the shifting tone of his interactions, and as he confronts his mother and apologizes to his father, these encounters help him to grow beyond his past trauma.
Stevie faces very similar challenges throughout the novel, for she has always allowed her mom’s derogatory comments to convince her that “something is wrong with [her]” (22) simply because she has more curves and dresses differently. Her relationship with Brett has also convinced her that she is somehow unworthy of love. By the end of the novel, however, Stevie discovers how to accept and overcome her past experience and exercise agency over her life. She stands up to Brett, her mom, and even to the paparazzi, and these bold actions indicate that Stevie’s desire to face her trauma overcomes her fears and insecurities. Thus, the novel uses both protagonists’ internal development to illustrate the fact that confronting past trauma can allow people to embrace new, life-changing possibilities for the future.
The Tension Between Public and Private Personas
By contrasting Zanders’s and Stevie’s vocational identities with their more intimate personal interactions, the novel explores the importance of finding a healthy balance between public and private identities. At the beginning of the story, both Stevie and Zanders find that their professional commitments complicate their ability to be themselves and to form healthy relationships. Notably, although Zanders is known as “the city’s troublemaker” (6) and has a reputation for starting fights and behaving promiscuously, his closest friends know that he is “an amazing guy” (212) with a deep desire to help others and pursue community activism. However, Zanders hides this version of himself from the public eye, convinced that revealing his positive attributes will cause his team, his fans, his community, and even his family to reject him. Furthermore, he has learned that upholding the bad-boy persona makes him money and wins him a wider fan base. Over the course of the novel, he struggles to reconcile these competing versions of himself, especially when his relationship with Stevie complicates his ability to navigate his public and private identities. As Stevie urges him to embrace his authentic self, he eventually realizes that his stubborn refusal to let go of his illusory bad-boy image is threatening his most cherished relationships. The novel therefore suggests that behaving inauthentically inevitably introduces personal and relational issues.
Although Stevie has a much clearer sense of who she is, she also vacillates between competing iterations of herself. In a professional context, Stevie adopts the persona of “the wild flight attendant” (230) with the sharp wit and no-nonsense attitude. However, in private, Zanders discovers that Stevie is not “completely confident in her body” and is therefore a contradictory “combination of insecure and confident” (130). Although Stevie is capable of standing up for herself when dealing with the rowdy passengers on the Raptors plane, she does not readily confront people who are central to her life, even when they hurt her. By the novel’s end, however, she learns to balance her more docile, sensitive nature with her bold, outspoken public persona, and by reconciling these different parts of herself, she finds new ground for encouraging Zanders to be authentic as well.
When Zanders and Stevie let go of their public façades and allow others to see who they truly are, they open themselves to honest, loving, and authentic relationships. They learn how to stop compromising their true selves to make other people comfortable or to satisfy others’ expectations. In doing so, they also become more honest with themselves and one another. Zanders and Stevie therefore remove their proverbial masks as a way to reclaim who they are without fear or shame.
The Transformative Power of Love
The author uses Zanders and Stevie’s relationship to explore the ways in which healthy, balanced, and loving relationships transform individuals and help them to overcome their internal flaws and insecurities. At the novel’s beginning, the two protagonists contrast greatly with one another. Zanders is “known for being a dick” (10) and treats Stevie with condescension and disrespect. Because he is caught up in the glamor of his wealth and fame, he allows his false public persona to dictate his behavior even in private moments, thereby sabotaging his own efforts to form more meaningful connections. However, the narrative soon reveals a deeper side to Zanders, for he is still healing from his childhood trauma and issues of abandonment. Similarly, Stevie’s self-conscious and self-deprecating inclinations prevent her from fully embracing her authentic self in the context of her relationships. Thus, it is clear that both protagonists have room to grow and change, and their strengthening relationship proves to be the catalyst for this process.
Zanders and Stevie’s connection gradually alters how they see one another and themselves. Stevie initially thinks that Zanders is like every other man and “doesn’t see [her]” (23). Meanwhile, Zanders doubts that Stevie will want to see his authentic self because of his history with abandonment. However, the more time that the characters spend together, the more validated they feel by their relationship. Zanders encourages Stevie to stop “talking shit about [her] body” (131) and to defend herself when others criticize her. Likewise, Stevie shows Zander that he is worthy of love for simply being himself. The more he opens up to Stevie, the more she appreciates him for the struggles he has overcome and the love he gives others. Ultimately, both characters find a new sense of security in the love they feel for one another, and they improve their ability to meet life on their own terms.
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