Milk and Honey

The speaker blames herself: She believes her lover will catch her if she jumps, but she knows he won’t. Her mother insists she should expect more, but the speaker gets defensive at this idea. A male figure remains so unreachable the speaker can’t even imagine he is present. 

The speaker and the lover grow more estranged. He feels the relationship is ruled by fate, whereas she feels they have control of the outcome. He only says he loves her as a prelude to sexual activity. 

The speaker has several realizations. While she desires him, she doesn’t need him. She is attracted to a man who hurts her. She anticipates changing as a person, but he only loves a particular version of her that will cease to exist in the future. She wants to hang on to him and save him from her evolving self. When they have sex, she fears being abandoned. 

She ultimately leaves the relationship because she is losing herself.

The speaker can’t force him to love her, but also can’t just be a pit stop. She wants to feel like someone’s home and hopes she will find a new love. Her ex can give her all sorts of things, but he doesn’t respect women in general—or her in particular.