More or Less Maddy: A Novel

The first weeks of being on lithium are like a prison for Maddy. She is constantly exhausted no matter how much she sleeps, and she cannot eat because of both nausea and a metallic taste in her mouth that never goes away. Maddy’s bathroom door was taken off and her cupboards emptied of anything she might be able to use to harm herself, and she was taken out of school to move back home. Maddy hardly has the energy to get up to use the bathroom, and when she does, she searches desperately for something to cut herself with, finding nothing. Her mother brings her pills with some waffles, and Maddy reluctantly takes the pills but refuses the food. Adam comes by later, expressing sympathy for Maddy but breaking up with her at the same time. Maddy no longer recognizes herself or feels she has anything to look forward to, and she finally finds the strength to cry.

The family gets together on Christmas Eve, which is a yearly tradition for them. Jack is absent, but everyone else is in attendance, and Maddy’s grandmother is on her way. Maddy is wearing long sleeves to cover up her cut marks, and her mother tells her not to mention her diagnosis to Grandma.