The family gets together on Christmas Eve, which is a yearly tradition for them. Jack is absent, but everyone else is in attendance, and Maddy’s grandmother is on her way. Maddy is wearing long sleeves to cover up her cut marks, and her mother tells her not to mention her diagnosis to Grandma. Maddy has fond memories of helping her grandma cook and garden when she was little, and she remembers her as someone who is always busy. When Grandma arrives, everyone has dinner together, with Jack participating via video call. Afterward, they exchange gifts, and Maddy’s grandma gives her a diamond heart bracelet. To avoid Grandma seeing the scars or Maddy’s trembling hands, Emily comes over to help Maddy try it on. Her grandma looks at her like she is perfect, and Maddy wishes that were really the case.

Later, Emily comes to check on Maddy and brings her favorite movie to watch. Maddy isn’t in the mood but doesn’t have the strength to object. She confesses that she thinks her mother is ashamed of her, but Emily thinks she’s just scared. Emily explains that their dad had bipolar as well, and it thus makes sense why their mother would be afraid for Maddy to go down a similar path. Maddy thinks about her father and how not everyone gets a happy ending in life, and wonders if that will be her fate, too.

It’s the start of second semester, but Maddy is on leave until next fall because of her mental health crisis. She can’t bring herself to text Sofia and tell her what happened, so she doesn’t text her back at all. Maddy avoids listening to Taylor Swift or looking at pictures of her, terrified of triggering another episode. She looks through her notebooks from school, many of which are filled with class notes or musings about Taylor Swift, but then she finds six notebooks dedicated to comedy material, all of which are full. She reads through them and finds that much of it is nonsensical or unfunny, but to her surprise, much of it actually makes her laugh. She starts to doubt her own judgment immediately, but she wonders if perhaps she has a talent she never knew about before. Maddy decides to highlight all the lines she thinks are good and compile them into a new notebook.

Some time later, Maddy’s mother bursts into her room, grabs her arm, and rolls up her sleeves. She says she found out Maddy has been cutting again by the bandage wrappers in the garbage. Maddy assures her mother she isn’t trying to end her life, but Maddy’s mother calls Dr. Weaver to schedule an appointment.

Three weeks later, Maddy has been on a new, second medication, quetiapine, an antipsychotic intended to counteract the depressive symptoms of the lithium. She feels better and wants to move to her sister’s apartment in the city. A meeting is called to see if Dr. Weaver thinks Maddy is ready, and Maddy attends along with her mother and sister. Throughout the meeting, Emily defends Maddy and confirms her belief that Maddy is ready to move out. Dr. Weaver agrees that Maddy is improving and thinks it is time for her to get back to living a normal life. Maddy’s mother objects several times, but eventually agrees when Dr. Weaver makes it clear that her approach (like taking away Maddy’s bathroom door) isn’t working.

A month into life with Emily and her fiancé, Maddy is thriving on the routine and structured days. She doesn’t appreciate the way her mother continues to check in with her constantly, and she resents being treated like a child, but she does her best not to lash out at her mother regardless. Maddy works at Starbucks nearby, and on the way to work one day, she stops at NYU to watch the passing students. She sees a woman yelling at pigeons and starts thinking about the possibility of ending up like her one day. Distracted by this thought, Maddy accidentally walks under the arch at Washington Square, an act rumored to destine freshmen not to graduate in four years.

Maddy is at work when one of her co-workers, Simone, comments on Maddy’s constant writing in her notebook. Maddy admits she’s writing comedy, and Simone encourages her to sign up for an open mic night. Maddy isn’t sure of herself or her talent, but Simone assures Maddy that she will need to fail many times before she succeeds. Maddy notices that Simone has a tattoo that says “WORTHY” on it, and she wants to feel that she is worthy of such a dream. Simone heads off to an acting audition, leaving Maddy with her thoughts. At home later, Maddy wants to tell Emily about her comedy plans, but she refrains, fearing that Emily will turn her away from the idea. Maddy’s mother checks on her before bed, and Maddy fills out her daily mood tracking app, which includes a question that monitors “unrealistic thoughts about writing comedy” (188).

Simone refuses to let Maddy back out of her first stand-up performance, and Maddy listens to recordings of her bits all day to prepare. She heads to the comedy club, turning off her location so her mother and sister won’t know where she is. After listening to several painfully dull routines, Maddy gets up on stage and receives nothing but silence for the first three minutes. Afterward, though, some of her jokes about wearing a thong begin to land, and the thrill of making someone laugh fuels her to continue.

Maddy finishes her five-minute set, and Simone congratulates her. Maddy agrees to go with Simone to the bar, even though she knows she isn’t supposed to drink. She has a drink and is approached by Max, the same man who originally invited her to the comedy club. He congratulates her on her first set, and Maddy sticks around to have another drink with him. When she gets back to Emily’s apartment, it appears nobody suspected she was anywhere but at work. Maddy spends the night thinking about all the best moments from her set, her thoughts racing faster and faster. Her mood tracker indicates that both her anxiety and her elevated moods are increasing.