Mother Mary Comes to Me

Mother Mary Comes to Me (2025) is a memoir by Indian writer Arundhati Roy. It follows Roy from childhood into adulthood through the lens of her fraught relationship with her mother, Mary Roy. An educator in her native province of Kerala, Mary founds a highly regarded school and pioneers novel pedagogical strategies in her classes, becoming a pillar of the local community. There is a gulf, however, between Mary’s public persona and private personality. While she becomes a caring and supportive figure in her students’ lives, with her children she is often abusive and emotionally withholding. Arundhati attempts to parse her complex, volatile history with Mary as she chronicles the development of her career, romantic life, and activism. The memoir explores The Tension Between Public Legacy and Private Identity, The Links Between Creativity and Identity Development, and The Battle Against Sexism and Gender Inequality.

Roy is best known for her Booker Prize-winning debut novel The God of Small Things (1997) and its follow-up The Ministry of Utmost Happiness (2017), but her essays are also widely read in India.

This guide uses the 2025 hardcover edition by Scribner.

Content Warning: The source material and this guide contain depictions of child abuse, sexual violence, substance use disorders, a brief reference to a termination of a pregnancy, and state-sponsored, Islamophobic violence.

Summary

Arundhati begins her memoir with a brief account of the emotional impact of her mother’s death: Mary Roy was a complex woman who was much more supportive in her relationships with her students than she was to her children. She was angry, emotionally volatile, and at times even abusive. Arundhati’s brother LKC remains angry with their mother for her legacy of abuse, but Arundhati has spent years processing her mother’s toxicity and has come to respect her for the strong example she set for her students and her children.

Mary Roy is born into a patriarchal society in which women are expected to be little more than wives and mothers. She marries Mickey Roy, who has a managerial position on a tea estate, and chafes against the boredom of married life. She wants to pursue a career in teaching and knows that she cannot work outside of the home if she remains married. When Mickey begins to abuse alcohol and political violence forces her to move away from the estate with her two young children, Arundhati and LKC, she takes the opportunity to formally divorce her husband.

Mary moves in with her family, and conflict ensues. She and her siblings have a fraught, often-volatile relationship, and they disapprove of her choice to divorce Mickey. She finds work at a local school and eventually founds a school of her own. In the classroom, she is driven and caring. She teaches her students to reject India’s rigid gender roles and insist on their own self-determination. At home, however, she is angry and vituperative. She takes out her frustrations on Arundhati and LKC, and they endure physical, emotional, and verbal abuse.

Arundhati and LKC attend a boarding school and, after graduation, Arundhati enrolls in an architectural college in Delhi. She immerses herself in the cultural revolution of the 1960s and becomes interested in politics. India’s society is rigidly structured according to distinct castes, but there is a worldwide equality movement that is sweeping through India, too. Marxist ideology is gaining traction with Indian students, intellectuals, and writers, and Arundhati’s school projects often reflect her burgeoning interest in equality. She begins a relationship with another student whom she nicknames “JC” for his resemblance to Jesus Christ. He, too, is interested in politics, and they enjoy collaborating on their schoolwork.

At this time Mary Roy begins to speak publicly about the abuse she endured at the hands of her father and to criticize India’s unequal gender politics and its sexist legal system. She attains a newfound notoriety, and Arundhati is moved by how fiercely she fights for women’s equality. Mary also, however, becomes even more abusive to Arundhati and LKC, often berating them in public for imaginary infractions. Both Arundhati and her brother stop speaking to Mary.

Arundhati moves in with JC without marrying him, but their relationship will not last. She comes to see him as an ordinary Indian man who will ultimately choose a traditional wife. She leaves him and strikes out on her own. She obtains a position at the National Institute for Urban Affairs but struggles to pay her bills on her meagre salary. She endures sexist taunts daily during her commute and is often the target of sexual harassment. Her boss introduces Arundhati to her husband Pradip, a filmmaker. He gives Arundhati a role in one of his films, and the two commence an affair.

Seven years have passed since Arundhati saw her mother, and the two reunite. Mary is just as emotionally volatile as ever with her children. She is now deeply committed to gender justice and successfully petitions the course to reverse the law limiting women’s inheritance rights. Arundhati also reunites with her father Mickey, who continues to abuse alcohol but is cheerful and happy with his children.

Arundhati and Pradip continue to work together on films, and Arundhati begins writing. Pradip does not initially want to give her a screenwriting credit, but she successfully fights for the recognition, and he relents. Eventually she decides that she would rather work alone than collaborate, and she ends her collaboration with Pradip.

Political violence is now rampant in India, and there is widespread violence against India’s minority Muslim population. Arundhati begins a project that, although personal, also engages with India’s fraught politics. It eventually becomes her debut novel, The God of Small Things. The novel is a runaway success and wins the Booker Prize.

Hindu nationalism sweeps India and violence against its Muslim minority increases. Arundhati begins writing politically engaged essays that criticize the Indian government, large-scale corporate interests, Hindu nationalists, and India’s tolerance of widespread violence against women. She is criticized by male academics and journalists and tried several times for contempt of court, a charge stemming from her writing. Mary, who remains emotionally volatile and judgmental of her children, begins to follow Arundhati’s career closely. Although she is not overly effusive with praise, it is evident that she approves of her daughter’s politics and willingness to speak her mind.

Arundhati and Pradip eventually marry, although their relationship is unorthodox and they do not always live together. Pradip writes a successful book, and Arundhati pens another novel, The Ministry of Utmost Happiness. It takes her 10 years to complete, but during that time she continues her political activism and her writing. Since Arundhati opposes Islamophobia, she is often at odds with the political majority, and she is brought up on charges again and again.

Mary’s health declines at the same time that Mickey’s does, but Mickey dies and Mary makes a miraculous recovery. Although she lives for years after her ex-husband’s death, eventually she too succumbs to illness. Her memorial service is large, and Arundhati is moved by the impact her mother made during her lifetime. She and her brother honor their mother’s wishes to scatter her ashes, and Arundhati renovates her mother’s crumbling home. Mary’s legacy is complex, but Arundhati bears a genuine respect for her mother’s legacy.