Murder Takes a Vacation

A teasingly ambiguous character who dogs Mrs. Blossom throughout her vacation, Danny Johnson continually keeps her off balance, ramping up the novel’s suspense and deepening the mystery. Though his intentions are eventually revealed to be noble, Danny initially arouses her suspicions by staring at her on the Chunnel train. His dapper attire, which includes “fashion-forward” glasses adorned with gold, gives him the stylish look of a Frenchman, though (as he later reveals) he is actually American-born, with a British mother and a Pakistani father. 

Danny is characterized by his ambiguity and ability to shift identity. In Paris, he attaches himself to Mrs. Blossom, claiming to be a professional “stylist” who has altruistically decided to make her his pet project. As the plot thickens, Danny continually changes his story, claiming to be an FBI agent, then a private investigator working for an insurance company, and finally an FBI agent again, but one pursuing his own investigation, which turns out to be the truth. 

He is worldly and confident, and these traits, along with the fact that, as Danny himself puts it, he “can be delightful company” (49), keep Mrs. Blossom intrigued. Mrs. Blossom’s friend Elinor also notices his “rogue’s charm,” by which he smoothly puts others at ease, offering quick-witted responses to every question or suspicion. Danny finesses his ever-changing backstory and general slipperiness with a charming bluntness that gives him a semblance of honesty; for instance, he wittily mocks Mrs. Blossom’s touristy itinerary—“If you say the Eiffel Tower, I’ll cry” (57)—her fashion sense, and her fondness for cat videos. His knowledge of art and culture, however, is authentic: He attended the prestigious Maryland Institute College of Art and works for the FBI’s stolen art division. His basic decency and affection for Mrs. Blossom are also genuine, as the novel’s denouement proves. 

Although Danny is ostensibly motivated by his work as an FBI agent, the narrative reveals that his interest in the Quqnoz statue is more personal. His estranged father, who died recently, was involved in the statue’s theft and the arson that destroyed the museum that housed it. His determination to solve the case is evidenced by the unofficial nature of his hunt and his goal to return it to its rightful owners (the nation of Pakistan) to redeem his father and avenge his death. In the end, despite the lies and deception, Danny reveals himself to be a basically honest person, especially with Mrs. Blossom, whom he genuinely likes: He only lied to her when he deemed it absolutely necessary, since too much knowledge might have put her in more peril. However, he finally comes to realize that more honesty from him might have saved them both a lot of hassle, mistrust, and danger, since it would have helped Mrs. Blossom find the smuggled jewels much earlier. As he wittily puts it, they were like “the blind men, patting an elephant” (255), unable to see the big picture. With this revelation, Danny becomes a dynamic character, growing beyond his previously limited perspective on the crime to incorporate what he’s learned through his association with Mrs. Blossom.

Mrs. Blossom’s best friend since first grade, Elinor has always been slim, pretty, and petite, piquing Mrs. Blossom’s envy; she comments, “Elinor was so pretty and delicate; men had always been drawn to her” (113). Elinor acts as a foil to Mrs. Blossom, even in her own mind, as she compares herself to Thelma Ritter, the sidekick to Elinor’s Grace Kelly. Mrs. Blossom also fears being “third-wheeled” by Elinor if her friend finds a new boyfriend on the ship, since Elinor has told her that a cruise is a “good way to meet men” (77). According to Mrs. Blossom, Elinor has been “boy crazy” since adolescence, which led her into two hasty, failed marriages. Her third marriage was a success, but her husband died only a few years later. 

Unlike Mrs. Blossom, who’s comparatively shy and self-effacing in the presence of strange men, Elinor is outgoing and openly flirtatious and seems to be looking for “Husband Number Four” on the Seine cruise (77). To that end, she catches the eye of a handsome 60-something named Marko and manages to get him into bed. However, Elinor proves not to be as good a judge of character as Mrs. Blossom: Marko drugs Elinor, uses her as a hostage, and threatens to throw her overboard unless Mrs. Blossom hands over the jewels. 

Besides being notably different from Mrs. Blossom in both temperament and appearance, Elinor also has different tastes and interests, preferring The Real Housewives to art exhibitions and museums. She agrees to accompany Mrs. Blossom to Montparnasse Cemetery, where Degas, Baudelaire, and Samuel Beckett are buried, but only because an ancestor of one of the TV housewives’ husbands rests there as well. Much less serious about art and culture than Mrs. Blossom, she seems more dependent on human company, particularly romance, than her friend; her two years of widowhood weigh more heavily on her than Mrs. Blossom’s 10 years. Though warm-hearted and companionable, Elinor can also be insensitive on occasion, as when she casually refers to “dieting” in Mrs. Blossom’s presence; her friend takes umbrage at this reminder of society’s opinion of her weight. However, Elinor also shows sensitivity, apologizing by conceding that “being thin [is] my one real accomplishment” (187). The narrative gradually reveals that Elinor is envious of Mrs. Blossom’s many accomplishments, and she has limited her hopes to finding and keeping a man because it seems to offset what she sees as her lack in other areas.

Patience (or Pat), a glamorous and reclusive passenger on the Seine cruise, fascinates Mrs. Blossom with her patrician elegance and charm. She also surprises Mrs. Blossom by singling her out for companionship. Flattered by her attention and captivated by her sophistication, Mrs. Blossom chats with her frequently throughout the cruise, and ultimately invites her to visit her stateroom, which the wealthy woman says she “covets.” In Pat, Mrs. Blossom sees a woman to emulate, as well as validation of herself in Pat’s approval and desire for friendship.

As the novel continues, however, Pat reveals herself to be the novel’s main antagonist when she demands that Mrs. Blossom hand over “her” sapphires. Pat Siemen, whose real name is Constance Saylor, is the mastermind behind most of the strange events that have bedeviled Mrs. Blossom throughout her vacation. She reveals herself to be duplicitous and dangerous with her threats to Mrs. Blossom and Elinor and her willingness to go along with Marko’s plans. 

Later, however, the portrait of Pat changes once again when Mrs. Blossom pieces together Pat’s history. Pat Siemen, then known as Constance Saylor, was raised in wealth but devastated by a romantic breakup in her youth: The man who gave her the sapphire ring and the Quqnoz statue cut ties after being insulted by her controlling father, who tried to buy him off. According to Pat, this man, whom she loved, “saw the rot at the heart of my family tree” (246). Every criminal act she commits is a desperate act to regain the money she lost in the economic downturn of 2009 and, later, to fulfill the needs of her lover, Marko. She orchestrated the arson of her private museum for the insurance money, and then faked her death to avoid scrutiny by the insurance company, resurfacing as Patience Siemen. 

Pat’s physical appearance is revealed to be just a façade as well. She later reveals that she reconstructed her appearance after her faked death, including plastic surgery and a starvation diet. With this revelation, she reveals herself to be a different woman than the one that Mrs. Blossom so admired upon their first meeting. She is unhappily and deeply in love with a man who abuses her, and she turns a blind eye to his acts of violence, like the probable murders of Hassan and Allan, and her own injuries at his hands, which have left her using a cane. Her actions were all motivated by her desperate attempts to hold onto Marko, without whom she feels she cannot live, and her obsessive passion for him is her tragic flaw, eventually landing her in prison. 

Pat is a static character who doesn’t change much throughout the novel. Despite all the danger and traumatic results of her escapades with Marko, she seems to have few regrets, justifying everything with the depth of her love, though she admits that it made her “foolish.” The real shift comes not in Pat’s character but in Mrs. Blossom’s changed understanding of her. Before leaving Pat’s hospital room, Mrs. Blossom mourns that the “smart and lively and wonderful” person she knew on the Seine cruise did not take her own advice about being “the main character in her own life” (247).