My Life with the Walter Boys

Jackie Howard is the protagonist of the novel. Jackie has always been disciplined and deliberate, but this personality trait intensifies after losing her family in a car accident. Post-accident, Jackie becomes fixated on creating a sense of control as the circumstances of her life feel increasingly out of her control: “After my breakdown, I taught myself how to control my feelings. It was vital to my future success because I could never lose myself like that again. So, I built a wall inside my mind to keep back my flood of emotion” (107). Focused on achieving “future success,” Jackie suppresses her emotions, refusing to acknowledge her grief and therefore refusing to process it, delaying the necessary steps to move forward in her life.

Living with the Walters is the catalyst that enables Jackie to begin taking down her self-protective walls and opening herself to new emotions and experiences. At first, she views the family with a sense of trepidation, their loud and active household a stark contrast to Jackie’s former life in New York: “Why would anyone choose chaos when they could live in control?” (88). As Jackie grows closer to the Walters, especially Cole and Alex, she learns to let go of some of the rigidity she has held closely, opening herself up to new experiences and relationships.