My Next Breath: A Memoir

“To me, action was everything. It’s at the core of who I am. I do stuff; I take action; I believe in the power of a deed done. I am blessed by a large extended family whom I love more than anything; and I believe in action. These two immovable forces—love and action—were about to collide.”

The metaphor of “two immovable forces” elevates both love and action to equal importance while creating dramatic tension through the verb “collide,” which suggests conflict rather than harmony. His simple, declarative sentences (“I do stuff; I take action”) use plain words that echo his belief that action is more important that just thinking or feeling. This passage demonstrates how both the theme of Mastering Fear and Taking Action and the theme of The Centrality of Love and Family will drive the memoir’s central crisis, in which Renner’s deepest values will be tested simultaneously.

“Back at the house, I just couldn’t face giving up. It’s time to do something; it’s time to take action. ‘Screw it. Alex,’ I said, ‘let’s just drive up there. What is it, eight hours? The car’s all-wheel if the weather gets really shitty. Let’s do it.’ We were up against time, the fading light—I really didn’t want to drive in the dark—and the weather. But sometimes you just have to commit to an action and do it, so that’s what we did.”

Renner uses urgent, decisive language that reflects the theme of Mastering Fear and Taking Action. The declarative final sentence, “so that’s what we did,” demonstrates how commitment to action can overcome uncertainty and fear. This moment establishes Renner’s philosophy that decisive action, even in the face of risk and uncertainty, is preferable to passive resignation when family connections are at stake.

“Family is everything to me; maybe I didn’t know that day quite how much (though the universe was about to send me a lesson on that one). I wasn’t about to let a closed mountain stop my getting back to them.”

This statement embodies the theme of The Centrality of Love and Family through its absolute declaration that “family is everything.” The parenthetical aside creates dramatic irony, as Renner hints at future events that will test and deepen his understanding of family’s importance. The reference to the “closed mountain” as an obstacle transforms a literal geographical barrier into a symbol of any force that threatens family connection. The foreshadowing in this quote suggests that the events recounted in My Next Breath will ultimately serve as proof of how central family truly is to Renner’s identity and values.

“I make the leap. In retrospect it’s an impossible thing to have attempted—to jump across three feet of spinning tracks as the machine slides forward, up into a cab where my only option was to slam my fist into a red STOP button. But love doesn’t wait for the impossible, doesn’t countenance doubt or nonaction, at least not for me. If you have one shot, you have one shot, and you have to take it.”

Renner uses present tense (“I make the leap”) to create immediacy, inviting readers into the split-second decision that defines the entire narrative. The personification of love as an active force that “doesn’t wait” and “doesn’t countenance” transforms an abstract emotion into a driving agent of action. The juxtaposition between “impossible” and the necessity of action illustrates how The Centrality of Love and Family transcends rational calculation, compelling individuals to attempt what logic would prohibit when protecting those they care about.

“We all go through stuff in our lives that triggers us, that makes us miserable, pisses us off, makes us sad—and to combat these things, I’ve found myself using conscious breath. I don’t need Valium; I need a deep breath, or several, or ten minutes of it; I don’t need the hit from a joint: just breathe. It’s so much better to trust your lungs than a drug. And with breathing you cement your relationship with your body because the breathing fixes the pain. It works. All this I brought to that moment.”

The conversational tone and colloquial language (“stuff,” “pisses us off”) creates a sense of accessibility while discussing profound survival techniques. The metaphor of “cementing” a relationship with one’s body suggests breathing as foundational to self-awareness and control. This passage demonstrates the theme of Mastering Fear and Taking Action by showing how conscious breathing techniques become tools for managing crisis situations. The final sentence connects past preparation to present survival, illustrating how accumulated knowledge becomes crucial during life-threatening moments. Renner’s dismissal of prescription medication like Valium may be offensive to some readers, and it is important to note that some individuals may benefit from medication when navigating issues like anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions.

“THE ONLY OBSTACLE IN YOUR WAY IS YOU. The thought comes to me whole, unfiltered, pure. This is the first of the cheat codes this incident creates for me. THE ONLY OBSTACLE IN YOUR WAY IS YOU. It’s not as if I thought those words in the form of a cogent sentence—the overwhelming pain short-circuited my grasp of basic language (save some curses)—instead, the mantra THE ONLY OBSTACLE IN YOUR WAY IS YOU seemed to float somewhere in my consciousness, informing my next steps, being the framework upon which I could hang all the efforts I knew I’d need to make to survive what had just happened to me.”

The capitalization and repetition of the central mantra creates typographical emphasis while demonstrating how crisis distills complex thoughts into essential mantras. Renner uses gaming terminology (“cheat codes”) to make psychological insights accessible to contemporary readers. The metaphor of thoughts “floating” in consciousness rather than forming coherent sentences illustrates how survival instincts operate below rational thought. This passage exemplifies the theme of Mastering Fear and Taking Action by showing how mental frameworks become survival tools, transforming potentially paralyzing self-doubt into actionable determination during a crisis.

“I seemingly had been invited into a secret club: the perspective of my mother in her most intimate moment. Men don’t often get such an opportunity; at the time I knew it wasn’t normal, but at the same time I knew even then that it was a great honor, though I had no idea how much it would affect my life. Neither of us could have known that in learning Lamaze together, she effectively saved my life without knowing she was saving it. Because now I was on the ice, and I knew I needed to breathe or I wouldn’t make it.”

Renner uses the metaphor of a “secret club” to elevate his participation in the Lamaze classes from mere inconvenience to privileged access. The phrase “effectively saved my life without knowing she was saving it” demonstrates dramatic irony, as readers understand the life-saving connection that neither mother nor son could have anticipated. This passage exemplifies The Importance of Information and The Centrality of Love and Family by showing how this family experience inadvertently provided Renner with essential tools for overcoming his life’s greatest challenges.

“I was always building a tree house or a go-kart or something (no wonder I’d end up repurposing vehicles all these years later), shooting off a BB gun, getting into scrapes, getting out of them. Being so active, allowing myself to try and fail, made me realize from an early age that information was everything, was my savior, would be the thing that saved me from fears, from being too afraid to do things. From as early as seven or eight years old I had a kind of free-flowing energy, a fluidity in my life, especially once I realized that knowledge defeated anxiety every time.”

Renner uses italics to emphasize “information” as the central concept, treating it almost as a sacred principle. The metaphor of “free-flowing energy” and “fluidity” suggests that confidence comes from understanding rather than rigid control. This passage demonstrates The Importance of Information by establishing knowledge as the fundamental antidote to fear and the foundation for taking decisive action throughout life.

“Staying calm, as I did, while my mom freaked out, taught me something about how to react to extremes. No amount of emoting will turn back time to the point where the car doesn’t hit the car in front. Once the thing has happened, once the head has cracked the windshield, it’s done—from that moment on, it’s all about how you react to it, how you react to the information being presented (in my case, in the form of a huge bump and a concussion). Even then, I knew the power of information, and as I went through life, I might fail or I might succeed, but at the very least I was building knowledge.”

Renner transforms physical trauma (“huge bump and a concussion”) into educational opportunity by framing injury as “information being presented,” showing his fundamental approach to adversity. The final sentence uses balanced phrasing (“I might fail or I might succeed”) to demonstrate that outcomes matter less than knowledge acquisition. This passage reinforces The Importance of Information while also touching on the theme of Mastering Fear and Taking Action by showing how information gathering becomes a consistent strategy for managing unpredictable events.

“To make things better, to achieve the things you want to achieve, to push through and past obstacles, you have to do something. You cannot be inactive. You will die. Complacency is death; it is the opposite of life; it is what keeps us stuck in situations that make us unhappy.”

The repetitive structure (“to make things better, to achieve the things you want to achieve”) creates rhetorical momentum that builds toward the central imperative. Renner uses italics on “do” to emphasize action as the fundamental requirement for survival and progress. The stark declaration “You will die” functions as both literal truth about his accident and metaphorical warning about spiritual or emotional death through inaction. The equation “Complacency is death” transforms a philosophical concept into a survival principle, while the final clause connects abstract philosophy to practical life improvement. This passage demonstrates Mastering Fear and Taking Action by establishing action as the essential difference between life and death, both literally in his crisis situation and metaphorically in how people approach challenges and personal growth.

“So no, I have never considered this incident mine alone; it was something visited upon the innocent people around me, and in order to help them heal, I had to bring every ounce of my strength to bear, every second of every day. For me there was never an option of relaxing, of not fighting harder than I’ve ever fought for anything.”

Renner uses the metaphor of the accident being “visited upon” others to emphasize how trauma extends beyond the primary victim to affect entire networks of relationships. The phrase “every ounce of my strength” creates a sense of total commitment through hyperbolic language that underscores the intensity of his dedication to recovery. The repetitive structure of “every second of every day” reinforces the relentless nature of his effort. This quote demonstrates The Centrality of Love and Family by showing how Renner’s motivation for recovery stems not from self-interest but from his responsibility to heal the emotional wounds his accident inflicted on those he loves.

“The upshot was that bowling became frustrating rather than joyful, so I walked away from it. ‘I just don’t do things I suck at.’ (That I was actually really good at it doesn’t mean I didn’t suck at being the best at it.) Though this might signal a kind of ‘giving up’ mentality, what it actually meant for me was that I was able to develop a confidence in the things I could actually excel at. This confidence came from two things: information, and always having that safe landing spot of love with my family.”

Renner uses colloquial language (“suck at”) to create an informal, conversational tone that contrasts with the serious philosophical point he makes about perfectionism and self-knowledge. The parenthetical aside creates a nuanced distinction between general competence and absolute mastery, revealing his all-or-nothing approach to pursuits. The metaphor of family as a “safe landing spot” suggests both physical and emotional security, positioning familial love as the foundation that enables risk-taking and self-discovery. This quote connects to both The Importance of Information and The Centrality of Love and Family, showing how these dual sources of confidence allow him to make decisive choices about where to invest his energy.

“And there he gave me the greatest gift my father ever gave me. He urged me to fail. His advice was, you must take at least twelve units—units that would enable me transfer to a four-year school—but, beyond those, try anything and everything and go FAIL! So I followed his advice and tried a bunch of courses—twenty-six units, actually—and that is how I discovered acting.”

The paradoxical concept of failure as a “gift” subverts conventional expectations about parental guidance and success, highlighting the counterintuitive wisdom of embracing uncertainty. The capitalization of “FAIL” creates emphasis that transforms failure from something to avoid into an active, intentional strategy for growth. The specific detail of “twenty-six units” provides concrete evidence of how thoroughly Renner embraced his father’s unconventional advice. This quote illustrates The Centrality of Love and Family by demonstrating how genuine parental love sometimes means encouraging risk and potential disappointment rather than protecting children from failure.

“So to have that kind of love always available filled me as a child with confidence…and then as an adult, the pragmatic part of confidence kicked in, which for me came from information. Information is what squelches fear. We are only afraid of the unknown. Ignorance, or lack of experience, is simply a lack of data. Not all information takes away fear, but any amount of it can dampen the insecurities and the killing unknowns of fear.”

Renner uses the verb “squelches” to create a visceral image of information physically suppressing fear. The equation of “ignorance” with “lack of data” transforms emotional and psychological states into analytical, measurable quantities that can be addressed systematically. The phrase “killing unknowns” personifies fear as something predatory and deadly, emphasizing the urgent need to combat it with knowledge. This quote directly establishes The Importance of Information while connecting it to The Centrality of Love and Family, showing how familial security in childhood creates the foundation for adult confidence that can then be strengthened through deliberate acquisition of knowledge.

“And after nearly a decade of doing it, I realized that fear is driven almost entirely by the unknown. Survival is everything for humans, so it’s natural to have that visceral fear reaction to danger, to the unknown, but I wanted to harness that reaction by understanding what I was afraid of so that I could live my life more fully and with more confidence. Fear can control our lives, and I didn’t want fear to control my life, so I just kicked its ass; I owned it. When I found myself getting afraid of something, I decided to simply go right at it, right into it, until it was no longer scary.”

Renner uses colloquial language (“kicked its ass”) to transform the abstract concept of conquering fear into concrete, physical action. The repetitive directional phrases “right at it, right into it” create momentum that mirrors the aggressive approach he describes taking toward his fears. The metaphor of fear as something that can “control” lives positions courage as an act of reclaiming personal agency and autonomy. This quote embodies the theme of Mastering Fear and Taking Action by presenting the act of conquering fear not as a single moment of bravery but as a systematic, long-term campaign that requires both understanding the nature of fear and developing practical strategies to overcome it.

“This death confirmed this for me: I was nowhere, in a nonlinear energy land filled with beauty and wonder. I knew then, as I know now to this day and will always know: Death is not something to be afraid of. I’m really excited about living, of course, but death? It’s not something I’m scared of anymore. I was never all that afraid of it before the incident, to be honest, but now I know that death is something to look forward to, a return to that electric serenity outside of time.”

Renner uses the metaphor “electric serenity” to capture the paradoxical nature of his experience, combining energy with peace to convey something beyond ordinary human understanding. This quote embodies the theme of Mastering Fear and Taking Action by demonstrating how confronting the ultimate fear—death itself—can eliminate anxiety and create a foundation for fearless living. The passage establishes Renner’s argument that his near-death experience provided him with transformative knowledge that fundamentally altered his relationship with mortality and courage.

“No experience need be wasted. Everything that happens to us can be stored as information so that when disaster strikes, we don’t curl up and stop breathing. Instead, we find a position in which breathing is possible. Then with all our strength we take that first, crucifying, agonizing breath.”

The metaphor of experiences as “stored information” transforms life’s difficulties into valuable data, suggesting a utilitarian approach to suffering and adversity. Renner uses the religious imagery of “crucifying” to elevate the simple act of breathing into something sacred and redemptive, connecting physical survival to spiritual transformation. The progression from “curl up and stop breathing” to finding a breathing position creates a clear choice between surrender and survival, emphasizing human agency in crisis situations. This quote expresses The Importance of Information by arguing that all life experiences, particularly traumatic ones, serve as crucial preparation for future challenges.

“Anybody could have gone through what I went through—perhaps not the exact incident I had, as I will always believe it was a complete one-off, a cosmic fluke—but people have catastrophic accidents all the time. The exact coordinates of the disaster matter not, it’s what one does with the information that comes with the experience that matters.”

Renner uses the phrase “cosmic fluke” to acknowledge the randomness of his specific accident while simultaneously arguing for the universal applicability of his lessons. The shift from his personal experience to broader human experience demonstrates his attempt to make his story relevant to others. This quote reinforces The Importance of Information by arguing that the value of catastrophic experiences lies not in their circumstances but in the transformative knowledge they provide. The passage supports Renner’s central thesis that survival and growth depend on how individuals process and apply the lessons learned from extreme adversity.

“My honest perception of the incident was, and is, and will always be, that it was a glory moment. I didn’t fucking die. So the celebration of the New Year becomes a recognition of the depth of the love in our family. And the snowcat is the bat signal for that love.”

The italicized word “glory” transforms what most would consider a traumatic accident into a moment of triumph, revealing Renner’s complete reframing of the experience. The pop culture reference to Batman’s “bat signal” uses familiar imagery to make the abstract concept of love’s power more concrete and accessible. This quote exemplifies The Centrality of Love and Family by connecting his survival directly to the love demonstrated by family members during the crisis. The passage illustrates how Renner transforms potential trauma into gratitude, using his accident as evidence of the protective and sustaining power of familial love rather than viewing it as a source of ongoing fear or victimization.

“I would come to understand this about that incident and its aftermath: It was all my fault. I had put all these wonderful people through a living hell. It didn’t much matter that I’d been trying to save Alex—what came after was something we’d all have to heal from together.”

Renner uses stark, declarative language to accept complete responsibility for the trauma his accident caused his family and friends. The phrase “living hell” creates a contrast with his description of his loved ones as “wonderful people,” emphasizing the profound disruption his actions caused to innocent lives. The acknowledgment that his good intentions—”trying to save Alex”—become irrelevant in the face of the consequences demonstrates Renner’s understanding of accountability. This quote embodies The Centrality of Love and Family by showing how Renner’s primary concern extends beyond his own physical recovery to encompass the emotional healing of those he cares about most. The collective pronoun “we” in the final phrase signals his recognition that recovery must be a shared journey.

“I’m the oldest of seven and have been blessed with a nurturing personality because of my position in the family, so I never want to disappoint them—I always wanted to lead with courage and demonstrate by my actions how to move forward in life, always with integrity and always by amassing information and taking action.”

This quote embodies The Importance of Information, as Renner explicitly connects gathering knowledge to taking effective action. The phrase “demonstrate by my actions” reinforces his belief that leadership requires concrete behavior rather than mere words, reiterating a foundational principle that drives his approach to both family relationships and personal recovery throughout My Next Breath.

“I’d faced the ultimate hardship—and it wasn’t my first hardship—but the word ‘hardship’ itself felt strange, because to me, none of it was hard if I focused on what I could do to get back to my family and further my recovery in that moment. The only thing we have control over in our lives is our perception of things, and in this instance, as soon as I got out of the coma, I was determined to fight any feelings of giving up, of letting go.”

Renner redefines the concept of hardship by rejecting its traditional meaning, using paradox to suggest that extreme physical trauma becomes manageable when approached with the right mindset. This quote exemplifies Mastering Fear and Taking Action, as Renner transforms potentially disempowering circumstances into motivation for forward movement. His emphasis on controlling perception rather than circumstances reflects the broader argument in My Next Breath that mental attitude can help shape external conditions, positioning mindset as the primary tool for overcoming life-threatening challenges.

“Did the love keep me alive, or did I stay alive to love? I don’t think it matters which comes first—chicken, egg, who cares? What mattered was that I was still here, and blessed to be here at that, and now I’d been given an even greater gift than ever before. Now, I fully understand the depths of the love around me, the love we all share.”

Renner uses rhetorical questioning to explore the relationship between love and survival, then dismisses the need for a definitive answer with colloquial language that reflects his practical approach to complex philosophical questions. The metaphor of “chicken, egg” trivializes academic debate in favor of experiential understanding, while the repetition of “love” emphasizes its central role in his transformation. This quote addresses The Centrality of Love and Family, positioning love as both the motivation for survival and the reward for surviving.