My Return to the Walter Boys

The changing seasons in Colorado serve as a backdrop for Jackie’s emotional and interpersonal shifts during the story’s rising action. The natural setting reflects the underlying transformation taking place in Jackie’s life, particularly as she continues settling into the Walter family dynamic and Building a Sense of Belonging Through Found Family. A clear depiction of the season’s change occurs during Parker’s first rugby game, which “[i]s accompanied by a wave of crisp fall air—the first of the season” (130). The description mirrors Jackie’s internal change as well; her emotions are shifting from the heat and intensity of summer toward a more layered and reflective outlook.

Jackie’s internal struggle intensifies in these chapters as she attempts to balance her academic goals and emotional health with her relationships to the people around her. She knows that Cole is a complicated and often toxic presence in her life but still finds herself pulled toward him. Jackie also becomes more perceptive, recognizing that something is wrong with Nathan and acknowledging the complexity of her dynamic with Erin, whom she decides to help run for school president. This moment hints at Jackie’s growth, as she begins to see people beyond her initial judgments. 

However, Cole’s dual nature continues to confuse her; he is loving and playful with his younger siblings, stepping in during the lunch auction and goofing off at the waterfall, but is cruel and defensive when his pride is threatened. His hot-and-cold demeanor feels deliberate to Jackie, making her wary of his sincerity. Putting on Lucy’s prom dress is a pivotal moment in their dynamic. It reveals her growing confidence and maturity as a young woman who is stepping into a new version of herself. It also provokes an authentic emotional reaction from Cole, which Jackie senses. This makes her more receptive when he implies that they should attend the homecoming dance together.

Despite this progress, their dynamic remains tense. This is evident when Cole begins to emotionally distance himself from Jackie again, creating tension within the space of the Walter house: “If I walked into the same room as him, he made a point to leave. And the one time I tried to start a conversation with him, Cole glanced at me with emotionless eyes” (87). These brief, unsentimental observations highlight the emotional divide growing between them. Simultaneously, the cutting observation about Jackie’s feelings for Cole (“like we were talking about established facts—water is wet, the sky is blue, Jackie wants Cole” [114]) uses humor to expose the unspoken truths in Jackie’s life. These stylistic choices contribute to a tone that is straightforward on the surface but layered with emotion, mirroring Jackie’s conflicted state. 

The romantic tension escalates during these chapters, especially as Cole’s erratic behavior becomes harder for Jackie to rationalize. They are both struggling to express Vulnerability as a Source of Connection, making communication difficult. Cole’s coldness drives Jackie to confide in Danny, one of her few emotional anchors in the family. Danny’s intervention seems to work, as Cole begins acting slightly more civil, but the uncertainty remains. At Parker’s rugby game, the boys tease Jackie about Cole, amplifying the unresolved feelings between them.

Jackie’s activities in these chapters embody the theme of Navigating Grief and the Healing Process, as she tries to embrace her connection to both her past and present. The Walters’ annual trip to the waterfall, held at the end of every summer, represents both the boys’ need to blow off steam and Jackie’s slow acceptance into their world. Jackie also finds belonging in a tabletop gaming café, identical to one she used to visit with her family, further emphasizing how fragments of her past continue to surface in her new life, as a positive rather than a negative. 

Meanwhile, deeper family tensions emerge, particularly in the rising conflict between Katherine and Isaac after Isaac’s father visits. Jackie, who is now fully embedded in the family’s drama, witnesses these tensions firsthand. One awkward but significant moment occurs when Jackie walks in on Cole masturbating; it is an uncomfortable, intimate moment that Cole brushes off, while Jackie remains disturbed until later that evening. These chapters mark a critical shift in Jackie and Cole’s relationship, deepening their connection while foreshadowing the instability still to come.