40 pages • 1-hour read
My Return to the Walter Boys
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Themes
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of death.
Building a Sense of Belonging Through Found Family
One of the most prominent themes in the novel is Jackie’s journey toward belonging after losing her family. Her experience is one of finding a sense of home with the Walter family, which she never expected to happen. At the beginning of the story, though she remains apprehensive about seeing Cole again, it is clear that the Walter ranch has come to represent a form of safety and connection.
Jackie is drawn into the family’s dynamics by participating in sibling pranks and bonding moments that confirm her as part of their world. Jackie both missed and didn’t miss these antics: “While absence did make my heart grow fonder, it also made me forget how irritating some of them could be” (13). Here, Jackie expresses her love for the Walters and the chaotic reality of being part of their large family. They challenge her to become less focused on control and more present in the moment, which aids in her journey of healing.
Her fear of disrupting this new home is one of the main reasons why Jackie tries to distance herself from Cole romantically. When Isaac reassures her that she is part of the family and that a breakup wouldn’t change that, it emphasizes how deeply Jackie has been accepted, even if she hasn’t fully accepted it herself yet. Her inclusion becomes most clear when she overhears Katherine and George talking about her. Katherine admits that she hoped Jackie would one day be her daughter, and George replies that Jackie already is. This moment affirms the legitimacy of Jackie’s place within the family and gives her the emotional security that she’d been missing. The mural painted by Katherine echoes this, symbolizing Jackie’s place among the family and her special closeness with Cole.
By the end of the novel, Jackie realizes that her identity is no longer tied to a single place or history. Jackie now has two homes, and two families, which include both warm and painful memories. She notes, “Home was also where your family was, and the Walters were here” (311). The Walters become the found family that Jackie needs in order to heal, find herself, and embark on the relationship she desires.
Navigating Grief and the Healing Process
Grief is a constant force in Jackie’s life since the loss of her family. It shapes her decisions, relationships, and self-perception. Since the accident, Jackie has used distractions such as romance, conflict, and the chaos of the Walter household as ways to avoid confronting her pain. Her growth comes from the fact that over the course of the novel, she begins to work through that grief and opens herself to healing.
In New York, Jackie confronts the sorrow she left behind and decides to begin wearing her mother’s pendant, a symbol of the beginning of acceptance of her loss. This small act signifies a huge emotional step, as she is now willing to carry her grief with her instead of fleeing from it. Jackie also wears her sister’s dress to the homecoming dance, indicating further acceptance of the loss of her family while reaffirming her love for them.
Jackie’s grief is expressed in her recurring nightmare, where she stands helplessly on the side of the road as a car full of people she loves (first her real family and then the Walters) drives off the edge of a canyon. The dream’s shift reflects that Jackie’s fear of loss now extends to her found family as well. Her inability to stop the crash mirrors how powerless she felt during her family members’ deaths and how afraid she is of losing the new family she has in the same way she lost the first one.
Jackie’s interactions with Nathan reveal another storyline of shared grief when gives him her mother’s pendant. She understands the feeling of grieving a lost future, showing that loss can apply to future events, not only those in the past. This moment shows a turning point in Jackie’s healing, as she passes on the strength and comfort she found in the pendant to help others.
By the end of the novel, Jackie comes to a healthier understanding of grief. When Cole tells her that there’s no right way to grieve, she initially resists the idea and feels guilty for being happy at all. Later, she admits that she has been avoiding love and happiness out of that guilt and knows now that doing so only hurts herself. By choosing to share her New York life with Cole in the future, Jackie begins integrating her past life with the one she is building in the present.
Vulnerability as a Source of Connection
Throughout the novel, vulnerability is portrayed as a necessary and powerful means of forging connection. Jackie’s deepest relationships with partners, friends, and family only deepen when she and others are willing to share their insecurities, grief, and fears. Jackie herself often acts the opposite of how she feels, trying to maintain control through sarcasm or deflection. Throughout the story, she learns that vulnerability is not a weakness and that deflection only keeps her distant from those around her.
She initially holds back from Cole because she fears the emotional risk of opening up; however, when she finally admits that she fears being his only source of joy, she is being honest not just with Cole but with herself. The admission becomes a turning point that allows their relationship to grow. Cole likewise opens up about his own fear of failure and confesses that losing football derailed his life, leaving him feeling “empty and broken” (288). Confessing this to Jackie allows Cole to confront it within himself and take steps to rebuild his life.
Emotional connection through vulnerability also emerges in Jackie’s friendships. When Jackie finds Nathan crying in the truck, she says nothing at first, choosing instead to sit with him quietly. This simple act of presence, followed by the gift of her mother’s pendant, shows how much Jackie cares about Nathan. Nathan, who previously told Jackie that he wasn’t her sister in a moment of rage, finally begins to let her in. Through this interaction, Jackie helps Nathan face an uncertain future, and he affirms her place in the family.
Jackie’s moment with Isaac at the diner is another key example. Both of them lower their emotional defenses, each offering one truth to the other. Isaac confesses that he doesn’t think his father loves him, and Jackie responds by gently reminding him of the love that still surrounds him in the Walter family. This mutual honesty is what finally bridges the emotional gap between them and allows Isaac to realize where he was wrong.
Even Cole and Jackie’s reconciliation in the final chapter is grounded in vulnerability. Instead of making dramatic declarations, Jackie takes Cole to the gaming café, a place tied deeply to her lost family, and tells him that being with him helped her break out of her emotional shell. This moment, which takes place in a space of vulnerability for Jackie, indicates a new phase of their relationship built on mutual openness and emotional growth. In these ways, vulnerability is shown as the key to forming genuine, lasting bonds, whether between partners, siblings, or friends.
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