Nobody's Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice

Giuffre describes a shopping trip with her daughter in Perth. While out, she impulsively buys a stack of new towels that her family doesn’t need. She attributes her obsession with new linens to her history of feeling dirty and her constant longing to be clean.

Giuffre reflects on how the public has responded to the fact that she, like many others whom Epstein allegedly trafficked, chose to stay with him. She asserts that she didn’t feel free to leave his clutches because of how few options she had. The girls whom Epstein abused were desperate and isolated. He took advantage of their vulnerability.

Giuffre continues recounting her time at the pink house. Epstein and Maxwell “appointed themselves [Giuffre’s] sexual tutors” and paid her decent money (79). Meanwhile, Giuffre told her family that she had a good job through which she’d have opportunities for the future. When she became hesitant about staying with Epstein and Maxwell, Epstein warned her against revealing what happened at El Brillo Way, threatening her; he showed her an image he’d taken of Skydy and revealed that he owned the police department. Scared, Giuffre decided to endure.

Giuffre continues recounting her teenage years with Epstein and Maxwell. In 2000, Giuffre was 17 and rented an apartment using money from Epstein and Maxwell. Giuffre spent most of her time at El Brillo Way, but Epstein soon demanded that she travel with him as well; he also had properties in New Mexico, New York, and the Virgin Islands. He and Maxwell began introducing her to important people, too—among them, Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, who was Prince Andrew at the time.

Giuffre recounts her first trip to Manhattan with Epstein and Maxwell. She was taken to his townhouse but was nevertheless thrilled to explore the city. She sneaked out to sightsee on her own, much to Epstein and Maxwell’s chagrin. In retrospect, Giuffre realizes that Epstein and Maxwell represented a sort of family to her. They were cruel and controlling, but Giuffre let herself believe that they cared for her. Sometimes they even introduced her as their daughter.

From Manhattan, Giuffre, Epstein, and Maxwell headed to Little Saint James, Epstein’s private Caribbean island. Giuffre often serviced Epstein, but she also spent time relaxing with him, Maxwell, and their “employees” Tayler and Kellen. She let herself endure the abuse so that she could enjoy these more pleasant moments. She has often considered how her father’s abuse influenced her attitude toward Epstein and wonders if Epstein saw something of himself in her. She tried to uncover details about his past, but to no avail.

Giuffre continues reflecting on her trips to the Caribbean. She liked spending time with Adam Perry Lang, Epstein’s personal chef. She thought that she might matter to him, as he was kind to her.

When Giuffre traveled back to Florida, Epstein began to treat her differently. She had recently been performing bedtime rituals for him, massaging his feet and tucking him in. He seemed to trust her to comply no matter what, and one day, he showed her a secret closet where he kept thousands of nude photos of his victims.

Giuffre reflects on “Stockholm syndrome” and her regard for Epstein. She admits that she did think he might genuinely care for her more than the other girls he exploited. She hoped that he would protect her and save her from worse difficulties. Around this time, she started to recruit other girls for Epstein and Maxwell. Giuffre stresses how much she regrets doing this and how sorry she is for the girls she endangered. After Giuffre started this “drafting” work, Maxwell insisted on taking nude photos of her for Epstein.

Giuffre recalls Tony Figueroa’s unexpected reappearance in her life. He tracked her down in Royal Palm Beach, and they rekindled their friendship. While she’d never told Michael about Epstein and Maxwell, she opened up to Tony. Tony was furious but agreed that they were dangerous people, thus recognizing Giuffre’s difficult position. Giuffre and Tony started seeing each other again, which eventually led to her and Michael breaking up. Meanwhile, Giuffre remained enslaved by Epstein and Maxwell. They began trafficking her to other wealthy and powerful men, and Giuffre developed a reliance on “Xanax and other drugs” to cope (104).

Giuffre interrupts her account, describing her family life in Australia. She notes her children’s interest in the incarceration system and recounts a family visit to a prison. Giuffre then asserts that she was imprisoned by Epstein and Maxwell. She did everything they said, vacating herself to endure. She didn’t protest their demands because she feared the repercussions; Epstein, Maxwell, and all of their friends were extremely powerful. She soon learned that Epstein trafficked girls like her to these “friends” so that he would have compromising information about them. She reflects on these complex dynamics and her contradictory regard for Epstein.

Giuffre recounts her solo travels with Epstein over the years. She remembers a 2001 trip to Zorro Ranch, Epstein’s property in New Mexico, where he trafficked her to other men. He did the same on their trips to California. He always tasked her with treating his friends the same way she treated him.

Meanwhile, Giuffre continued seeing Tony, with whom she now lived. They began referring to Epstein as the “other man.” Then, in 2001, Giuffre traveled overseas with Epstein and Maxwell. It was then that they allegedly trafficked her to the former Prince Andrew for the first time, paying her $15,000 for the encounter. Giuffre called Tony afterward; they agreed on how dangerous the situation was and how powerful Epstein and Maxwell were. Back in Florida, Giuffre developed her photos from the trip—including one of her and Prince Andrew.

Giuffre recounts her next encounter with the former Prince Andrew in New York a month later. During this visit, Giuffre alleges, Maxwell posed Prince Andrew and Giuffre with a puppet that resembled the prince. Giuffre remarks on the strange situation and its symbolism. She considers her docility and compliance throughout this time, too. When one of Epstein’s friends offered her money to be his “sex slave,” Giuffre declined—informing Epstein that if she left, no one would care for him. She was pleased to please Epstein, hoping her loyalty meant something.

After Giuffre’s third alleged sexual encounter with Prince Andrew, she experienced a medical emergency. Epstein accompanied her to the hospital. He talked more to the doctors than she did. The doctors later suggested that she had experienced an ectopic pregnancy, but Giuffre would never be sure. She felt numb and detached.

Giuffre reflects on her medical difficulties over the years and all of the work she’s done with psychologists, doctors, and healers. She surmises that her body was in revolt because of all the abuse she’d experienced. She remembers seeing The Phantom of the Opera for the first time and noticing the likeness between the phantom and Epstein. She was caught in a hell that she couldn’t escape and increasingly relied on drugs. When Epstein discovered her substance use, he temporarily dismissed her from his “employ.”

Giuffre and Tony found jobs and tried to go back to school. However, Giuffre soon lost her job when Tony stole the tip jar. Epstein contacted her around this time and welcomed her back; desperate, she accepted.

Giuffre reflects on Epstein’s relationships with the girls he allegedly trafficked. He always asserted that they benefited from their involvement with him, be it financially, vocationally, or socially. She also reflects on Maxwell’s cruelty toward her, particularly after Giuffre returned to Epstein. She remembers all of the degrading things that Epstein said about women and his alleged plans to “breed” children with his victims.

One day, Epstein and Maxwell approached Giuffre with a proposition: They wanted her to have their child. The arrangement would offer Giuffre no autonomy or future. Although disgusted, Giuffre used the proposition to her advantage. She promised to consider the arrangement if Epstein and Maxwell made good on their promise to teach her massage. They arranged for her to attend the International Training Massage School (ITM) in Thailand. When she left the US for her six-month massage education, she planned to escape once and for all.