After James’s death, Adichie found herself clinging to old photos and videos of James, which function as a motif related to Separation, Loss, and Mourning During the Pandemic. Because she was not physically present for James’s death, she struggled to orient to the reality of his death and resulting absence. Indeed, Adichie longed to be in Nigeria with her family after James’s death in part because she wanted to experience James’s absence more tangibly. Studying his photos and videos allowed her to hold on to the illusion of James’s presence while simultaneously immersing herself in the sadness of his passing, thus offering her a semblance of this mourning experience: “I look at old photographs, and from time to time my whole body swells with a sob” (29). Here, Adichie’s physical grief while looking at the photos gestures to the theme of Grief as a Physical State and hints that such objects can spark a form of catharsis. Later, she describes her habit of obsessively rewatching old videos of James. These videos impacted her so significantly that her daughter begged her to stop watching them so that she would stop crying. In one sense, these images of her living father intensified Adichie’s grief and impeded her ability to accept his absence; in another sense, they offered her a way to mourn in circumstances that prevented her from grieving in a typical manner.

References to the video program Zoom pervade Notes on Grief and help situate Adichie’s account within its historical context: the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic, when nationally mandated lockdowns and international border closures intensified social isolation and led many to turn to Zoom to connect with loved ones. For Adichie, Zoom was the only way to keep in touch with her family from afar. Although helpful, these Zoom calls also augmented Adichie’s longing to be near her family. All of their conversations—from the insignificant to the profound—were mediated by a screen and computer program, which heightened Adichie’s denial of James’s death. References to Zoom are thus a motif that further the essay’s theme of separation, loss, and mourning during the pandemic.