51 pages • 1 hour read
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Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussions of illness, death, suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety, substance use, and addiction.
Didion expresses her sustained concerns about Quintana’s mental health. She and Dr. MacKinnon discuss her habit of worrying and the potential that Quintana might choose to die by suicide. Didion shows Dr. MacKinnon an email Quintana sent her the day before where she apologized for burdening Didion. Dr. MacKinnon muses on the way Didion conflates worry and love.
Didion tells Dr. MacKinnon about her Thanksgiving holiday and her family’s plans for Christmas and New Year’s. She regrets her inability to throw holiday parties anymore. The conversation turns to aging and grief. They also discuss the way children see adults during childhood. Didion remarks that Quintana always seemed more wary of her peers than of adults.
Didion describes her difficulties from the past week. She is convinced that Quintana’s anxiety, depression, and alcohol consumption are unrelated to her work frustrations. She and Dr. MacKinnon discuss AA and the possibility of Quintana returning to Hazelden. Didion admits that she often feels that Quintana “could control her situation if she wanted to” (169).
By Joan Didion