One Golden Summer

“Work is what’s kept me together these past six months. Or at least I thought so. But as soon as Willa leaves, exhaustion slams in. I sit on the floor of my studio, rubbing my fingertips against my temples. I’ve taken on so many assignments to keep busy, but I took this one for me. And it backfired.”

Alice’s body language after her Swish photo shoot conveys her professional stress. She has to sit down to collect herself and pushes her fingers into her temples—gestures that reflect the emotional strain the job is causing her. Further, she experiences her professional exhaustion as a “slamming” force—figurative language that shows the weight Alice is experiencing as a result of her compromising assignment in physical terms.

“The cottage is perched just above the water, and the entire front of the space is glass. I stand there, shaking my head at how beautiful it is. And just like that, I’m seventeen again, dressed in a terry cloth bathing suit cover-up with a camera strapped around my neck. I’m free from Trevor, from suggestions of cellulite, from the sense that I haven’t taken a photo that feels like me in months.”

As soon as Alice returns to John’s cottage in Barry’s Bay, she begins to discover The Transformative Power of Place. She spent a summer at the cottage when she was a teenager. Returning to this physical environment thus reawakens her adolescent memories. She’s able to channel the freedom and inhibition of her youth, while shedding the stress and heartbreak of her adult life in Toronto. This scene foreshadows how Alice’s summer in Barry’s Bay will gradually remake her into a more assured, grounded version of herself.

“I relax into the chair, shutting my eyes as I listen to their happy squeals. I’m used to the din of the city. I grew up with the white noise of traffic and sirens as my bedtime lullaby. But I forgot how much I love the serenity of the lake. I breathe deeply, letting it fill my lungs.”

Alice’s bodily response to her physical environment reiterates The Transformative Power of Place. This scene contrasts sharply with the preceding scenes of Alice at work in Toronto. In Barry’s Bay, she is in a state of repose—leaning back in her chair, closing her eyes, and basking in the sonorous sounds of the lake. The environment isn’t as familiar to her as the city, but it offers her a reprieve from her taxing urban life.

“I reach for his shoulders with a yelp as he sets me on my feet. His skin is warm under my hands. I’m so close the brim of my straw hat touches his chest. He smells like sun and soap and something expensive and plantlike that I can’t identify. I tilt my chin, and for a second, we both stare.”

Alice and Charlie Florek’s second meet-cute on Charlie’s boat ignites their romantic attraction to each other. The way Alice describes Charlie in this scene of surprising intimacy conveys her intense response to being close to him. Sense language that includes pleasant tactility like “warm” and “touches,” as well as the aromas of “sun,” “soap,” and “plants,” conjure notions of peace and ease. Even before the two get to know each other, Alice feels comforted by Charlie’s presence.

“The portrait is good; great even. But it doesn’t feel like me. In truth, I’m not sure what me feels like anymore. Aside from the photos I snapped on the island earlier today, I don’t remember when I shot just for myself, without worrying about acing an assignment.”

Alice’s reflections on her photo for Elyse’s gallery opening convey The Importance of Finding One’s Voice. Having her photo featured in Elyse’s show is objectively good exposure for Alice. However, the photo doesn’t align with how she sees herself as an artist. At the same time, because she is unsure “what me feels like,” she’s unable to identify exactly why she’s so resistant to showing the photo. This internal monologue conveys the entanglement of Alice’s personal and professional identities, and foreshadows her work to reconcile these two aspects of her experience.

“When the downward pull eases, I flutter my legs, returning to daylight and oxygen. I spin in the water just in time to see Charlie jump. I’m laughing, pushing my hair out of my eyes, when he bobs up beside me. His grin shines like morning sun over the bay. The dimples. The creases hugging the corners of his eyes. The water running down his nose.”

Alice and Charlie’s dive into the lake from the cliff conveys a buoyant, lighthearted, and uninhibited mood—this bucket list item is an expressly youthful activity. Alice describes the moment with the excitement she feels. Images of brilliant sunshine—“daylight, “ “shines,” and “sun”—connote openness, the freedom of enjoying nature, and freedom from having to perform. Meanwhile, action verbs “spin,” “jump,” “laughing,” “bobs,” and “hugging” conjures unbridled physical delight. Charlie influences Alice to experience physical pleasure even before they begin a sexual relationship.

“I smile, but my heart is beating faster than usual. It’s probably the wine. It probably has nothing to do with the fact that despite our being an odd trio, the conversation hasn’t died all evening. Or that Charlie is unpredictable in the best way. Or that I haven’t laughed so hard in ages. Or how effusively Charlie praises my lasagna […] Or that he clears the table, three plates a time, then washes the dishes, refusing help.”

Alice’s use of anaphora—or the repetition of the same word or clause at the start of successive sentences—shows her processing her interest in Charlie. She is searching for an explanation for her beating heart. The repetition of “it probably” and “or that” demonstrates her searching for a larger explanation for all of the things she appreciates about spending time with Charlie, who makes her laugh, engages in conversation, and actively participates in her and Nan’s life.

“I did everything I could think of. I […] tried to make our mom smile and made sure I didn’t fall apart in front of Sam. If you were the turtle of your family, I was the joker. The guy who didn’t take anything too seriously, who didn’t let anything bother him. It felt like, if I was normal, then they would be normal, too.”

Charlie’s decision to open up to Alice about his family life conveys his desire for authentic intimacy. Charlie is still keeping his heart condition from Alice, but he is inviting her into his life in other ways. This passage affects a sentimental, vulnerable tone, as Charlie is sharing difficult aspects of his childhood. Vulnerability, the passage implies, is essential to intimacy.

“What I don’t tell Charlie is how much being a flawless girlfriend required. I’d try on outfit after outfit before our dates, straightening my hair to a shine, making myself sleek and effortless looking. I started listening to classical music because Trevor loved it […] I loved all the things he loved. At least, that’s what I thought until the end.”

Alice’s internal reflections on her past relationship provide insight into her perspective on love. Although Alice has always been a controlled, responsible individual, she is exhausted by living up to the expectations of others. Trying to please others has compromised her authentic identity: She styles herself in a way that suggests perfection and mutes her preferences to satisfy others. This passage thus contrasts Trevor and Charlie, who has no such expectations of Alice’s behavior.

“I didn’t sleep. Instead, I spent the night reminding myself why Charlie was right to pull back. I had a crush on a friend once before, and it destroyed us. And despite how mixed up I feel about Charlie, I do think that’s what he’s become. A friend.”

Alice’s muses on The Freeing Power of Love. Her dynamic with Charlie differs significantly from her past relationships. However, this comparison only inhibits Alice and causes her to live through fear. She wants to be Charlie’s friend, but fear of losing him makes her decide on a strict boundary between them rather than open her heart.

“I photograph everything. It’s not the summer I envisioned when we arrived in June—it’s so much better. I feel as though I’ve been wearing a heavy coat and am now finally able to take it off. I feel lighter.”

Alice’s use of figurative language and metaphor shows her relief at being around Charlie. She likens her old way of being to “wearing a heavy coat”—a metaphor of weight and claustrophobia. Since she’s been around Charlie, Alice hasn’t felt the need for this protective layer. Casting off the metaphoric coat thus frees her to a “lighter,” less inhibited way of being.

“No, it’s because when you speak, he listens. When you smile, he smiles. When you need something, he offers help. When you give him something, he thanks you. You’re peas and carrots—I think you’ve found yourself a lifelong friend.”

Nan’s remarks capture the poignancy of Alice and Charlie’s connection. Nan doesn’t simply focus on Charlie’s appearance or good nature. Rather, she points out how Charlie behaves towards Alice, and how Alice responds to his care. Nan’s insight into the relationship underscores her role as Alice’s mentor, and reminds Alice to value what she has with Charlie.

“Everything about this moment is spellbinding. The pine-kissed air. The distant call of a loon. Floating high in the trees with Charlie. I look back to the lake. There’s a bonfire on the beach near John’s cottage. Laughter rolls across the bay. A fish jumps closer to shore.”

Alice’s detailed observations and descriptions of her surroundings reiterate The Transformative Power of Place. In this scene, Alice notes the smell of the air, the sounds of birds and laughter, the visual effect of the trees and fish, and the glow of the lake, fire, and beach. These natural details connote peace, calm, and unbridled beauty. Alice’s ability to revel in this setting captures how Barry’s Bay is changing her outlook.

“Now those hours kissing him in the tree house feel like a lifetime ago, as if they really did happen when I was a teenager. I fell asleep with a smile on my face, but I’ve woken to reality. I look at the paper over Nan’s shoulder, feeling dizzy at seeing my name listed with the others.”

The narrative shift between Alice and Charlie’s intimate interlude in the tree house and the abrupt intrusion of the gallery advertisement builds tension. Alice felt like a teenager kissing Charlie; she feels like an overwhelmed adult studying the ad. Her competing emotions convey The Importance of Finding One’s Voice. Alice becomes “dizzy” when confronted with reality because she has yet to reconcile her personal desires with her professional aspirations.

“I haven’t felt this comfortable with someone in a very long time. I haven’t laughed this much since I don’t know when. I can speak my mind without being afraid you’ll judge me. It’s so freeing. So, yes, you’re fun. That’s a gift, Charlie.”

Alice’s clear, declarative sentences echo her open and honest tone. For the first time, Alice names her feelings and articulates them to Charlie, having realized The Importance of Finding One’s Voice. Knowing what she wants isn’t selfish; rather, Alice sees her positive experiences with Charlie as evidence of his good heart. The passage captures the depth of their reciprocal connection.

“I think of what she just told me about the ability to forgive, and friends worth forgiving. I think of how she faltered when I suggested we come to the lake until I told her John wouldn’t be here. ‘Charlie said John wants you to give him a call. Why don’t you?’”

Alice and Nan’s relationship drives their personal growth. Nan primarily assumes the role of Alice’s mentor. However, in this scene, Alice is offering Nan reciprocal advice about missed opportunities. Their exchange captures The Freeing Power of Love. Nan has taught Alice that forgiveness is essential to love, and Alice is reminding Nan of this truth in the context of her relationship with John.

“My nerves have evaporated. I’ve coated myself in all my protective layers, but they aren’t what makes me safe. It’s Charlie. I don’t need to be in-command photographer Alice or obliging daughter Alice or perfect girlfriend Alice. I can just be me. A woman at a party, trying to figure out her shit like everyone.”

Alice’s response to Charlie at Sam and Percy’s baby shower conveys his transformative impact on her character. Whereas Alice is accustomed to being “in command,” “obliging,” and “perfect”—descriptions that emphasize the effort she usually puts into presenting a specific image of herself to the world—Charlie doesn’t hold these same impossible expectations of her. This is why she’s free to be herself when she’s by his side. He liberates her to be more authentic and uninhibited.

“He’s listening. He’s always listening. But I hope he’s hearing me, too. ‘I’m not friends with the person you think you were in the past. I’m friends with you now. And I like that man.’”

Alice uses blunt language to facilitate Charlie’s growth journey. Charlie feels guilty for mistakes he’s made “in the past,” but Alice refuses to keep holding him accountable for these errors in judgment: He’s already changed so much, and it’s important to honor this evolution instead of obsessing over old mistakes. Her words convey her investment in Charlie and reiterate The Freeing Power of Love.

“That night, after Charlie has brought Nan home and we wish him a safe trip to the city, I get a notification: charlieflorek has tagged me in a photo. […] It’s me, staring at the camera, staring at him. There’s a gentle smile on my mouth, and my eyes are warm. I look happy—no, it’s stronger than happiness. I look like I’m at peace.”

The image of Alice that Charlie posts on social media offers insight into how Charlie sees Alice, and how Alice feels around Charlie. She’s not turning away from the camera as she often does, but instead looks directly at it—body language that connotes confidence and assuredness. She’s also smiling and her “eyes are warm”—physical details that underscore her comfort level. The photo captures happiness and peace, conveying how Charlie makes Alice feel.

“We agreed on an easy, breezy summer fling. On friendship. I went into it with eyes wide open. He made no promises. But his comment hurt. Even in the light of a new day, it hurts. Because I think in some other world, if we decided to be together, we might be better than good. We might be great.”

Alice’s internal monologue conveys her frustrations with and confusion about her relationship with Charlie. When Charlie pushes her away, his rejection is all the more painful because Alice knows they’d make a “great” couple. Her internal vacillations illustrate her simultaneous desire to be with Charlie and to protect herself.

“My heart hasn’t slowed since I examined the negative. I don’t know how I’ve failed to notice it, because the same look appears on Charlie’s face in at least half a dozen of the images. Maybe it was so fleeting I missed it, or maybe the camera kept the truth hidden from me.”

When Alice develops the photos she took of her and Charlie’s summer together she discovers the depth of their connection, underscoring the role of photography as a symbol of truth. Photos capture raw human feelings that Alice doesn’t always notice in the moment. Her heart races as she studies the negatives—documentary evidence of her and Charlie’s love.

“Something changes the day after I cry into my cake with Mom. It happens when I’m swimming, like an epiphany. I’m doing laps, and instead of telling myself that I’m okay, I tell myself that I will be okay. Maybe not today, but I’ll get there. I repeat it in my head, over and over.”

Alice’s revelation about her emotional future marks a turning point in her personal growth journey. At this juncture in the novel, Alice is back in Toronto, recovering from her separation from Charlie. During her heartbreak, opening up to her mom helps her to rediscover strength. She changes her mantra into a more encouraging inner monologue.

“And I couldn’t ask that of you. You’ve given so much of yourself to other people. You told me once that you lost yourself in your last relationship. I wanted you to have the freedom you deserve. It wouldn’t have been fair to ask you to be tethered to someone like me.”

Charlie employs heartfelt language when he explains his withholding to Alice. Although Alice is upset with Charlie for hiding his heart condition from her, Charlie did so to protect her. The dialogue conveys both Charlie’s fear of hurting Alice and his genuine investment in her well-being.