Open Book

Jessica Simpson's memoir opens in February 2019, with Simpson seven months pregnant, writing nightly in her home study. She reflects on a life shaped by trauma, fame, and the substances she used to avoid confronting pain. The book then circles back to the crisis that catalyzed her recovery: Halloween 2017.

That October morning, Simpson drank vodka before seven-thirty to stop the shakes, then forced herself through her daughter Maxwell's school assembly. Afterward, she invited her estranged father, Joe Simpson, to hear music she had secretly written, including songs confronting his decision to leave her mother. He responded with tears and pride, and for the first time she felt he was reacting as a father rather than the manager she had fired in 2012. She collapsed on her entryway floor and told her house manager, "I am not okay." That evening, unable to trick-or-treat with her children, she took the sleep medication Ambien and retreated to bed. The next day, her closest friends, publicist Lauren, longtime friend CaCee Cobb, and assistant Koko, confronted her. CaCee pressed her to admit the drinking was out of control, and Simpson agreed to stop. Her friends revealed they had been planning interventions for six months. A therapist arrived that night. Her husband, Eric Johnson, pledged to quit drinking alongside her.

Simpson traces the roots of her crisis to childhood. Born in 1980 in Texas to Joe, a Baptist youth minister, and Tina Drew Simpson, she nearly died at age two in a car accident that cracked her skull and produced a stutter. Her mother and aunt discovered that singing eliminated the stutter, and Jessica learned to communicate through melody. The family moved 18 times before she reached fifth grade, driven by Joe's restlessness and financial instability. During overnight visits to the home of a family friend, a girl one year older sexually abused her from age 6 to 12. Jessica froze rather than resisted, a defense mechanism she carried into adulthood. She developed severe insomnia and began sleeping in the bed of her younger sister, Ashlee Simpson, for safety. At 12, she told her parents; her mother said she had suspected, her father said nothing, and the family never discussed it again.

At church camp in seventh grade, Jessica heard her own voice during "Amazing Grace" and felt called to sing. She auditioned for The All-New Mickey Mouse Club in Dallas, advancing to final auditions in Orlando alongside Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, and Britney Spears. She panicked onstage and was cut. At 15, her cousin Sarah, her closest friend and spiritual role model, was killed when a horse leaped through the windshield of the truck she was riding in. Jessica discovered that Sarah had prayed for her by name every day and began keeping her own prayer journal, a practice that forms the backbone of the memoir.

At 17, Jessica signed with Columbia Records. Label head Tommy Mottola told the 118-pound teenager to lose 15 pounds, launching a strict diet and diet-pill regimen that lasted 20 years. Her debut album, Sweet Kisses, underperformed against Spears and Aguilera. The label pressured her toward a sexier image while she publicly promoted her commitment to virginity until marriage.

Her relationship with Nick Lachey of the boy band 98 Degrees began in late 1998; they married in October 2002. Joe pitched a reality show to MTV, and Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica premiered in August 2003. The show made Jessica a cultural phenomenon, particularly after the "Chicken of the Sea" moment, in which she wondered aloud whether a can of tuna was chicken or fish. Her career surged while Nick's stalled, and the imbalance poisoned the marriage. During filming of The Dukes of Hazzard, Jessica developed an emotional connection with co-star Johnny Knoxville that convinced her the marriage was over. On November 22, 2005, she told Nick she wanted a divorce and later told her father to settle financially at any cost: "This is for my freedom, and you can't put a price on that."

The post-divorce years brought a volatile relationship with musician John Mayer. He oscillated between obsessive adoration and cruel dismissal, breaking up with her repeatedly via email before returning. The night before Jessica was to sing a tribute to Dolly Parton at the Kennedy Center Honors in December 2006, he broke up with her again. She drank heavily backstage and lost the lyrics to "9 to 5" onstage. She later realized he had been deliberately ending the relationship to generate songwriting material. After he discussed her in degrading sexual terms in Rolling Stone and Playboy interviews, she cut contact permanently.

In parallel, Jessica and her mother launched the Jessica Simpson Collection, partnering with footwear executive Vince Camuto. Jessica insisted on affordable pricing and inclusive sizing, and the brand grew into a billion-dollar enterprise. She also dated Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo from late 2007 to mid-2009. In January 2009, photos of Jessica performing at a Florida concert in high-waisted jeans went viral, sparking a national conversation about her body. She was a size four but refused to say so publicly, unwilling to shame women who were larger. The episode triggered lasting body dysmorphia.

In May 2010, Eric Johnson, a former Yale football star and NFL tight end who had been studying meditation and nontraditional healing, arrived at Jessica's house through a chain of chance introductions. They talked for hours and he stayed the night. He proposed on November 11, 2010, at exactly 11:11, a time Jessica considered personally significant. After a year of difficulty conceiving with only one fallopian tube, she became pregnant through what her specialist called a near-miracle. Maxwell Drew was born May 1, 2012. Three weeks before the birth, Joe told Jessica he planned to leave Tina; she buried the news to protect her pregnancy. A second unlikely pregnancy produced Ace Knute Johnson, born June 30, 2013. Jessica fired Joe as her manager, a process she repeated five times before it stuck. She and Eric married on July 5, 2014, at San Ysidro Ranch, with Joe officiating and Tina and Ashlee as co-maids of honor.

After the wedding, with no more milestones to distract her, Jessica's anxiety took hold. She drank from morning onward, masked the effects with a prescription stimulant, and shut down at night with Ambien. She had two tummy tucks, the second leading to infection and a nine-day secret hospital stay. A rambling appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show in May 2017 alarmed her publicist. Friends began planning interventions, but Jessica reached her own breaking point on Halloween 2017.

Following her commitment to sobriety, Simpson entered twice-weekly therapy and worked chronologically through her traumas. Clarity replaced numbness. At 90 days sober, she wrote a new song with ease for the first time in years. In August 2018, Willie Nelson, the country music icon who had befriended her during the filming of The Dukes of Hazzard, invited her to perform at his concert. She sang in front of Maxwell and Ace, who had never seen their mother onstage. Eric placed his hand on her stomach: She was pregnant again. Birdie Mae Johnson was born March 19, 2019, at 10 pounds 13 ounces, named for Joe's grandmother Bertie and for sparrow imagery in hymns meaningful to Jessica. Her father wrote asking forgiveness for being "a better manager than a father." Jessica told him she would not change a single moment, because she finally loved who she was.