Out of the Woods: A Girl, a Killer, and a Lifelong Struggle to Find the Way Home

The only other survivor of Jet’s crimes to speak out about them was a boy named Ronny, who, like Dylan and Shasta, was taken into the woods near his home and sexually abused by Jet. Jet also beat Ronny with a stick and burned him with a cigarette. Later, Jet explained that he believed he was helping Ronny or even having fun with him and believed Ronny was “weak” for being unable to handle it. Jet always considered himself the victim and insisted that he was misunderstood and unloved. He blamed the world for his problems, which he later took out on Shasta and her family.

Shasta was finally sent into trauma therapy a year after she entered Vista, and it was then that she was told she had to forgive Jet. Shasta found the concept inconceivable, but once again for the sake of appeasement, went along with it. Dr. Zimmerman told Shasta she had to return to the house where the murders took place and have a picnic there to create happy memories in place of the painful ones. Shasta knew the concept was ridiculous but had no choice, and went with her father and Vance. At the house, Shasta found many of her family’s old belongings, and some happy memories, like the time her mother bathed the children by the creek, came back to her. At the same time, Shasta never felt that the visit really helped her, and if anything, she felt worse when she returned to treatment. She began to wonder if recovery was even possible, or if trauma was just something a person covered up forever.

Jet was bailed out of prison by a wealthy friend. When he got out, he began a campaign of “revenge” against the world, which began with him molesting two boys. He claimed that he didn’t hurt them because nothing violent occurred, another example of his rationalizing mentality. At the campsite, Jet would often brag about the children he had harmed or killed. Often, he would do this while drinking alcohol and forcing the children to drink as well. Shasta would spit her sips back into the bottle, while Dylan drank his, and Shasta suspected he did this to numb the experience. Jet’s moods would shift from pleasant to hateful in a moment, and his manipulation of the children caused deep confusion in them because they never knew how to act. One of the children Jet told them about was Ronny, whom he had let go, and this made Shasta wonder if he would let them go one day, too.

One day, Jet went into detail about two girls he raped and murdered. They were living in a motel with their mother and five other siblings when Jet found them wandering and tricked them into helping him “find his cat.” Jet assaulted, murdered, and dismembered the girls, and their remains were not found until over a year later. Jet told this story not with guilt or remorse but with a tone of glorification, as though he were proud of his actions.

Abuses at Vista continued, and when Shasta attempted to run away at one point, she was caught just outside the doors. She missed her mother and hated the way people talked about her as though she were neglectful or abusive.

At the campsite, Jet continued with his unpredictable moods, and Shasta and Dylan did their best to navigate his constant shifts. Jet would often lie to them and tell them they were going home soon or that their family was still alive. Dylan relied more and more on alcohol to get through each day, and when Jet mentioned seeing Dylan and Shasta’s photos in a store in town, it gave them hope that someone may actually come looking for them.

Shasta moved into a teen house and started attending high school. Many of her peers were from polygamist families, and Shasta became intrigued by the possibility of blending in with a family of 50. She attempted to run away with a drug dealer friend and join them, but realized the moment she arrived that she would not blend in with their fundamentalist lifestyle (even if it was just a guise). When Shasta’s drug use worsened, she reached out to her counsellor about concerns that she was addicted to Spice (a THC-alternative) and her counsellor told her it couldn’t be possible. She completely dismissed Shasta’s concerns, leaving her isolated and dealing with her problem alone.

Shasta’s relationship with her father remained distant and complicated, and when she would bring up how much she missed Dylan and her mother, Steve would often wonder why Shasta didn’t also mention Slade. Finally, Shasta worked up the courage to tell Steve that Slade sexually abused her and Dylan, and Steve reacted with anger and denial, warning Shasta never to talk about Slade that way again. Before the murders, Shasta recalls how her mother somehow found out about Slade’s actions and asked Shasta and Dylan about the abuse. Shasta denied it, but her mother’s suspicions remained, and arguments between Brenda and Mark occurred. Shasta felt somehow like the key to figuring out Jet’s involvement was to figure out how he knew about Slade’s abuse, because as far as Shasta knew, nobody outside the family was told about it.

At Vista, Shasta decided she was fed up with the program and did everything she could to get discharged, including telling Dr. Zimmerman that everything she had said until now was a lie. Eventually, Shasta and one of the boys, David, ran away together. They found a laundromat off the highway, where a couple of rough-looking people insisted on “helping” them and took them back to their house. There, Shasta and her friend were introduced to several hard drugs. Shasta didn’t want to upset the hosts and agreed to take everything. When she did, she found that meth and heroin gave her the release she craved. Shasta and David spent a few days staying at a hotel and using drugs before finally deciding to call Vista and go back.

The staff at Vista suspected Shasta was pregnant and forced her to take a Plan B pill even though she didn’t want to. Then, they told her she was going home. She figured that Vista was trying to cover its tracks because she was gone for four days and nobody was told. Steve was livid when he found out that his daughter had been missing and was now coming home without having recovered. Shasta knew that her time at Vista was not only a waste, but it had made things worse for her in countless ways. She also knew that almost all the funds raised for her had been used to pay for it.

After Vista, Shasta lived in the shadow of media attention and gossip, with many people comparing her to Elizabeth Smart, a girl who was also held captive and sexually abused. Shasta had the opportunity to meet Elizabeth at one point and was looking forward to finally talking to someone who understood her experiences. Instead, Elizabeth dismissed her, saying she had a plane to catch. Shasta despised hearing Elizabeth’s name after that. At the same time, Shasta’s self-harming worsened as she was left to her own devices.

Shasta dealt with increasing rumors that Steve was involved in the murders. Evidence seemed to be everywhere: He was absent that weekend, he took out a life insurance policy for Dylan a month after his disappearance, and he left the state while his children were missing. Brenda’s mother also claimed that Steve came home covered in blood on the morning of the murders, but Shasta was never sure if that was true. She wondered if it was a way for her to make sense of so much loss.