Out of the Woods: A Girl, a Killer, and a Lifelong Struggle to Find the Way Home

“Like other residential therapy programs that fed vast sums of cash into Utah, Vista was about control, twenty-four seven. Kids were brought in, mostly by force, and set down in a structured environment from which they could not deviate.”

This passage uses repetition to emphasize the oppressive nature of Vista. The critique of financial motives exposes systemic exploitation disguised as treatment, showing how failures of systems designed to help can be the result of greed. The description lays the foundation for Shasta’s experiences of financial and emotional exploitation at Vista, all of which got her nowhere.

“Even then and throughout her life, Shasta was left to wonder if her father’s reaction would have been the same if Dylan had survived and she’d gone to heaven.”

This quote explores Shasta’s guilt about being the one to survive, and how she projected that guilt onto her father for many years. The conditional phrasing conveys uncertainty, as Shasta later discovers that her own guilt was the true reason she had those thoughts about her father. The honesty of this realization shows how trauma distorts perceptions of relationships and how this impacted Shasta’s recovery.

“She was, after all, Shasta fucking Groene, the heroic survivor of a serial killer.”

The use of strong language conveys Shasta’s bold attitude, her raw emotion, and her sense of total defiance, reinforcing her complex identity as one of the only survivors of Jet’s crimes. The phrase “heroic survivor” elevates her status but also hints at the heavy burden of expectation placed on her, and the disappointment others expressed when they thought she was “wasting” her second chance.

“I struck her in the head several times, each time from a different angle and in a different location on the skull to inflict as much damage to the brain as quickly and ‘mercifully’ as possible.”

This clinical, methodical description uses chilling detail and repetition to emphasize the brutality of the act and of Jet’s calculating nature. The ironic use of “mercifully” reveals Jet’s distorted mindset, as he somehow convinced himself that killing Brenda in front of her own children was a form of mercy. The cold tone matches the violence of the action, emphasizing the horror and cruelty that defines the trauma Shasta and her family endured.

“She was remarkably detailed and consistent in her recall. At the same time, she was just a little girl. The man who brutalized her was a real-life bogeyman. And she was the only one who could bring him all the way down.”

The juxtaposition of Shasta’s personal traits with her age emphasizes her strength despite being young. Referring to the abuser as a “real-life bogeyman” evokes childhood fears, emphasizing the horror of the experience and Shasta’s innocence. The phrase points to Shasta’s agency and the pivotal role she plays in stopping Jet from further crime by being the one to expose him.

“Sometimes lost in the horror of what transpired in the Lolo National Forest was the story of a brave little girl.”

This quote uses contrast to highlight how the focus on trauma can overshadow Shasta’s courage, as part of coming to terms with surviving. The phrase “lost in the horror” suggests how easily bravery is overshadowed by violence in stories of survival. Calling her “a brave little girl” re-centers the story on her resilience while also reminding readers of how young she was when she endured those experiences.

“After the woods, it was far from rainbows and lollipops. Shasta would have given her right arm, even her life, to trade places with Dylan.”

The metaphor used here contrasts sharply with the grim reality Shasta faces after the ordeal, emphasizing the absence of innocence and happiness in her world. The use of hyperbole expresses her survivor’s guilt and desire to save Dylan, even all these years later. This reveals the events’ deep psychological toll and the complexity Resilience and Forgiveness Following Trauma.

“Shasta felt Zim had no problem blaming and shaming girls for certain behavior. Evidently, being right all the time had its advantages. Good thing. Shasta was beginning to think that might be what Zim did best.”

The tone here is sarcastic and critical, reflecting Shasta’s skepticism and frustration regarding her therapist and the system designed to help her. Through Shasta’s view, the quote shows Dr. Zimmerman’s inflexibility and harsh judgment, emphasizing the continuous issue of blame and victim-shaming. This quote reveals Shasta’s growing awareness of the damaging attitudes she faces in therapeutic environments.

“Illuminated by the amber glow of the dying campfire and a Bud Light in his grip, Joseph Edward Duncan III talked about his family in both dribs and drabs and long diatribes. His words seemed to run together in coagulated strips of history and fantasy. He was so goddamn misunderstood. So abused. Smarter than anyone. Loved by no one. A better person on this planet there had never been.”

The imagery of “amber glow” and “dying campfire” sets a grim and dark mood. The fragmented sentence structure mirrors Jet’s disjointed storytelling, blending fact and fantasy. His self-pitying mindset reveals narcissism and manipulative tactics, showcasing a common trait among serial killers and rapists.

“Though it was far from the worst of what Jet would do to her brother, Shasta told people later that Dylan was not the same little boy after being chained to the contraption.”

This quote conveys the lasting impact of trauma on Dylan through Shasta’s reflective voice. The phrasing symbolizes the loss of innocence and irreversible damage that characterized Dylan’s final weeks on earth. The quote also suggests deeper horrors that occur later, hinting at the depth of trauma Dylan experienced. It is an example of Shasta’s role as protector and survivor.

“I thought I was being nice to him, and maybe even teaching him fun things. Even now I can’t imagine what sort of sheltered life he must have had if this was the worst thing that ever happened to him!”

Jet’s delusions are made clear in this confession, as he describes the experience of abusing and killing a boy while believing that he was enjoying it somehow. Jet even goes so far as to say that the boy was somehow weak or privileged for being unable to endure the torture being unleashed on him, and it is clear that Jet harbored anger toward anyone he believed had a better life than he did.

“Shasta began to wonder if trauma was a disease that can only be managed. With drugs. Or sex. Anything and everything that might obliterate the terrible things that kept coming back to mock choices made, destroy personal relationships, and make death the only way to truly kill the pain.”

Describing trauma as a “disease” conveys its chronic, invasive nature. The short sentences listing coping mechanisms reflect Shasta’s fragmented emotional state and desperation. The personification of trauma mocking her intensifies the sense of relentless torment which she finds inescapable. This candid reflection exposes the cyclical pain trauma inflicts and the destructive ways survivors cope.

“If someone was afforded a bird’s eye view of the Lolo National Forest campsite that had been Shasta and Dylan’s home for weeks, it might have seemed the snapshot image of a single dad with his son and daughter gathered around the campfire, telling ghost stories.”

The “bird’s eye view” metaphor emphasizes the contrast between the innocent appearance and the horrific reality at the campsite. The idyllic image of “telling ghost stories” is deeply ironic, as it depicts a typical happy camping experience while also foreshadowing the trauma that unfolds. This passage plays with perspective, showing how surface appearances can mask darker truths.

“Slade was dead. He did some bad things. But I’m still here.”

The blunt, simple sentences emphasize Shasta’s survival despite abuse and loss, highlighting Shasta’s practice of resilience and forgiveness following trauma. The contrast between “Slade was dead” and “I’m still here” demonstrates her ability to view these facts neutrally rather than emotionally embellish them. The understated tone shows the complexity of survivor’s guilt and forgiveness, suggesting Shasta’s growing strength.

“When Shasta, the little girl, became Shasta the survivor, people projected their own ideas and life experiences onto the miracle of her return. How could an eight-year-old little girl outwit a serial killer? Survive in the woods for seven weeks? Live through that abuse?

Shasta was a survivor before Joseph Edward Duncan III murdered her family.”

The rhetorical questions emphasize the public’s incredulity and fascination with Shasta’s survival. The phrase “people projected their own ideas” critiques how society shapes survivor narratives, affecting real people like Shasta and their recovery. The final sentence reclaims Shasta’s agency, separating her identity from the trauma. The use of transformation from “little girl” to “survivor” exemplifies her evolving self.

“No one knew if a sexual psychopath could be reinvented into a human being who no longer viewed the world as a hunting ground to satiate their desires.”

This quote explores the possibility of redemption and The Failures of Institutions Designed to Help. The uncertainty of whether someone who has committed such heinous acts could ever be rehabilitated creates a moral and psychological dilemma. It questions whether true change is possible for people like Jet, reflecting the story’s exploration of human nature, evil, and the limits of rehabilitation.

“Jet was mad at the world and what the system had done to him, and he wanted to pay back all the perceived injustice foisted on him by harming a child. He didn’t care if it was a boy or a girl. He was an equal opportunity child abuser and murderer. He wanted his crime to be shocking, a cattle prod poke into the heart of everyone who’d done him wrong.”

This passage explores Jet’s narcissism and the toxic cycle of abuse. The quote uses direct, harsh language to depict Jet’s indiscriminate cruelty. The metaphor “cattle prod poke” vividly conveys his desire to inflict pain as retaliation. The phrase “perceived injustice” reveals Jet’s distorted victimhood, justifying violence through bitterness.

“By then, it had fallen on Shasta to keep her brother from fully succumbing to the terror that had taken hold after that first rape. She had to be the brave one because Dylan couldn’t.”

This quote explores Shasta’s forced role as protector, emphasizing her courage and maturity beyond her years. The phrase “fallen on Shasta” suggests burden and responsibility that Shasta was not ready for, but had no choice but to take on. The contrast between Shasta’s bravery and Dylan’s vulnerability deepens the emotional impact, illustrating how trauma can damage families and force children into adult roles.

“Her trauma was as much a part of her as her skin. Always there. It had been like water, always finding a way to seep inside of the little spaces.”

The simile comparing trauma to water emphasizes its pervasive, invasive nature. The metaphor of it seeping into cracks evokes how trauma infiltrates every part of Shasta’s being. The repetition of “always” showcases the inescapability and permanence of pain, and how Shasta must learn to live with that damage. This portrays trauma as an enduring, internalized force shaping Shasta’s identity.

“Stephanie puddled in the grief, shame, and something else, something that Shasta had never seen in her abuser—and the molesters she’d read about or heard about from other victims.”

The verb “puddled” metaphorizes Stephanie’s emotional state, suggesting helplessness and feelings of stagnation, as though she could not come to terms with what she had done. The ambiguousness of the phrasing adds mystery and complexity to Stephanie, however brief her part in the narrative may be. The comparison to other molesters shows Shasta’s evolving understanding of trauma’s varied manifestations and her growing understanding of the nature of abuse.

“Dylan. It was always going to be about Dylan.”

This short, emphatic sentence centers Dylan as the emotional core of Shasta’s story, which he remained throughout her recovery. The repetition and isolation of his name heighten its significance and the lasting effect of Dylan’s last days. It reflects Shasta’s enduring guilt and love, indicating how trauma and survival are intertwined with protecting and remembering her brother.

“The next few hours played like a drama Shasta viewed from somewhere far offstage.”

The simile used in this line suggests detachment, as if Shasta is watching events unfold without control. The comparison to her being far offstage implies distance and disconnection, which is common in trauma survivors’ dissociative experiences. It is the brain’s way of compartmentalizing and surviving extremely terrifying events.

“This wasn’t Scream. It was a home video of the nightmare kind as Jet abused Dylan in every conceivable manner—verbally, psychologically, physically, and sexually.”

This contrast between the fictional horror film Scream and the real home video Jet made of Dylan amplifies the brutal reality of abuse. Comparing it to a nightmare emphasizes the horrific inescapability of what Shasta witnessed. Listing off the various abuse types Jet employed demonstrates the multifaceted trauma Dylan endured, bringing it to the forefront of reality.