Out of the Woods

Much of Sarah and Caleb’s relationship tension comes from her emerging sense that she has grown too stagnant and settled. She openly doubts whether the longevity of her marriage is still a source of strength, even if her love for Caleb is not in question. Caleb, in contrast, is threatened by Sarah’s need to question the status quo of their marriage. Through the wilderness retreat, both characters refashion their relationship into a source of security that will support their growth and evolution.

The disruption in Sarah and Caleb’s marriage first comes to light during their argument at the fundraiser, which puts their fundamental disagreement on full display. Sarah declares that she no longer feels the same youthful adoration of Caleb as when they married and she had “the confidence to promise forever to a safe-house boy with a kind heart and the naivete to believe that would be enough” (23). As an adult, Sarah chafes against the dynamic that was established early on, in which Caleb was Sarah’s shelter. She castigates her youthful self for trusting in love, suggesting that love alone is not enough to sustain their relationship. As she tells Win, “Something has to give, and maybe that thing is Caleb” (36). In her anger, Sarah sees Caleb as an obstacle instead of an ally or partner. However, she later admits to Helen that even when she imagines an alternate future for herself, she envisions marrying Caleb eventually, highlighting the strength of the love she still feels.

Over the course of the novel, Caleb shows an increased willingness to reshape their marriage to accommodate Sarah’s needs. At first, as she continues to push for change by signing them up for the retreat, he becomes more defensive, seeing her desire for change as a threat. He admits that he wasn’t aware that anything was wrong with their marriage when he says, “I liked our life. No, I loved our life” (146). Yvonne gently urges Sarah to consider that Caleb is afraid rather than trying to control her, and Sarah eventually apologizes for concealing her feelings for so long. Caleb begins to leave his defensiveness behind and commits to working on their relationship. He shares his emotions via journal entry, telling her, “I hope that if you have to rewrite your life, you won’t erase my part in it” (178). The metaphor signals his commitment to Sarah’s growth and his desire for real connection, showing that not only is Caleb willing to change but he has already begun the process.

By the end of the novel, Sarah’s courage in confronting the limitations of their relationship dynamic has inspired Caleb to confront his own purpose and growth. In a final signal of his commitment to reshaping their life, he shares his hopes for a less demanding career, telling her, “I’ve spent so long trying to impress a man I don’t want to be like” (102). Whereas Sarah’s journey involves learning to move forward from the loss of her mother, Caleb becomes eager to confront the reality that his father’s influence is preventing him from living life on his terms. His realization that he, too, needs to grow signals his new understanding of Sarah’s perspective. He finally answers her question from the fundraiser about her accomplishments, citing her relationships and ability to connect to others as one of her great strengths. He declares that “your heart is mine in the way that our home or our neighborhood and or my favorite movie is mine, mine but not for me alone” (217). Caleb fully embraces that their marriage needs to grow with them and provide them with the stability to seek out their happiness. In the novel’s final act, Bonam-Young establishes that balancing individual flourishing with shared values is key to Sarah and Caleb’s happy ending.