Out on a Limb

Seeing his prosthetic leg, Win jokes that she thought she’d win this contest. She finds this stranger to be a “seemingly perfect specimen” (10). He introduces himself as Bo and extends his left hand to shake; Win thinks that nothing could be more attractive to her. He’s tall, and she asks if he plays basketball. He gestures toward his prosthesis, and Win apologizes, explaining that she was born with her hand. He jokes that he could make fun of her to even the score, but when he examines her hand, he says that it’s adorable and that the best he could come up with is a Finding Nemo joke.

They sit in the den to talk. Win shares that she’s known Sarah her whole life; their mothers were young single parents together, and they were raised as “pseudo siblings.” Bo says that he knows Caleb through his work as a financial analyst and explains that his mother died when he was young. Win shares that she works at a café and in the summers as a lifeguard. Her mother, June, lives in Florida. Win is pleased with their easy conversation and feels her attraction to him growing. However, she warns him that she’s not looking for a partner; she’s independent to a fault, according to Sarah. Having watched her mother’s experience with boyfriends, Win thinks she is better off not inviting a man into her life, and she had a painful experience with her last boyfriend, Jack. Bo is also single and not searching for commitment.

Win shares a rude sexual comment that a stranger made on her social media, and Bo helps her make fun of the insult. Win, reminding herself that she is a modern woman who goes after what she wants, invites Bo upstairs. He seems wary and hints that he hasn’t had sex since getting his prosthesis. Win, though mortified at herself for asking, wonders if he is impotent. She lets him know that she hopes they’ll both be enthusiastic participants. Bo makes a leg joke in response.

Win and Bo meet in the spare bedroom. When she admits that she is slow about undoing buttons, Bo tells her to take all the time she needs. When he undoes her buttons at the same slow pace, Win finds this to be, “tragically, one of the larger romantic gestures of [her] life” (28). She recalls how her ex didn’t like her touching him with her right hand, but Bo invites this. As he undresses, Win takes care to show that she is still turned on as she leaves the choice of whether to wear or remove his prosthesis up to him. The sex is enthusiastic and thrilling.

Their intimacy continues. Win teases Bo about the size of his penis and is delighted that he doesn’t treat her like she’s breakable. When he kisses her right hand during sex, Win feels “equal parts awe and confusion” (39), overwhelmed by her vulnerability. They discover that there are no condoms, but Win takes birth control pills and Bo has been tested since his last partner. The sex is incredible, but then Bo dresses to leave. He kisses Win’s left hand as he departs and says that he can’t explain what this means to him. Feeling abandoned, Win reminds herself of how Jack turned on her and thinks it’s best not to get attached.

Win is stunned to learn that she is pregnant. Her doctor predicts that her due date will be July 24, and Win reflects that this will certainly change her summer plans. She reflects on her and Sarah’s mothers, raising them together in a tiny apartment. She’s thought about a baby but imagined that it would come later, a “once-I-have-my-shit-together dream” (46). The doctor suggests that Win consider her choices and reminds Win that she is capable. Win calls Sarah, who shows up immediately.

Sarah and Win discuss her options. Win wants the baby and begins to feel excited. Sarah reveals that Bo is Caleb’s friend. Sarah wonders if the baby will arrive on August 1, which is the day her mother, Marcie, died. Win loved and misses Marcie. Sarah, who doesn’t want kids of her own, vows that she’ll be a great aunt. Win knows that she has to tell Bo and wonders if he will participate as a father. They tell Caleb, who is shocked and reveals that Bo, or “Robbie,” is his older sister Cora’s ex-fiancé. Win vomits in their kitchen sink.

Win learns that Bo dated Cora on and off for years. A few months after their engagement, he broke things off. Bo and Caleb reconnected through work on friendly terms and never discussed the breakup. Caleb doesn’t know what happened to Bo’s leg.

Win returns to the apartment that she thought would be temporary but is where she’s lived for four years. The building is in poor condition, but Win has brightened the place with her many plants. She wonders how to share this news with her mother, who treats Win like a friend but doesn’t ask questions about her own life. Win knew as a child that people looked down on her mother, finding her “brash, noisy, gaudy” (63). She felt better confiding in Marcie.

Win takes a bath and contemplates her stomach, thinking of the path she’s taken to accepting her body despite receiving societal and cultural messages that women need to improve themselves. Win realized when she was young that her hand couldn’t be “fixed” and resorted to hiding it in long sleeves or pockets. Finally, Marcie called her out. In a group picture where all her friends had their hands in the air, Marcie coaxed Win to participate, telling her, “You can’t change anything by hiding it. You’ll just look back on memories and realize you tried to erase yourself. And how sad that would be” (65).

It took effort, but Win stopped hiding. It took her a long time to accept that she might struggle with certain tasks. Stories about what she calls “disabled super-achievers” make her realize that they are never simply described as a surfer, mountain climber, or drummer; they are always defined by their difference. Win just wants to feel ordinary, not like she’s overcompensating for things. Jack shook her confidence badly because he treated her like a good deed he was doing. As soon as they moved in together, he began to belittle and berate her. Win wants to love herself enough that someone else’s contempt won’t devastate her. She imagines having a baby, telling herself that she can do this.