Out on a Limb

“I don’t try to force my body to be something or deprive it of pleasantness. It just is. And I like it, enough, as it is.”

Win demonstrates a comfort with and acceptance of her body that goes against common cultural pressures to conform to certain standards. She has learned not to be ashamed of her limb difference or any aspect of her body. In this acceptance, Bonam-Young makes a powerful argument about accepting differing body types without judgment.

“I have to fix this. I’m not this person—the one who pries and fumbles and makes someone feel uncomfortable about their body or its differences. I cannot be that person. That’d make me a massive hypocrite.”

Win’s unintended fumbling when she asks about Bo’s sexual prowess during her first encounter with him, and her subsequent embarrassment, introduces the novel’s theme of Perceptions About Disability and Ableism. Win knows better than to make assumptions about ability or to make someone feel inferior, and this moment of self-consciousness points to how easily ableist attitudes can surface.

“I’m so tired of men treating me like I’m delicate because of my hand. I’m not breakable. I’m definitely not broken.”

The passion and intensity of their first sexual encounter are welcome for Win because Bo doesn’t treat her as fragile due to her limb difference. His ability to treat her as ordinary, which is exactly what she wants, demonstrates his suitability as a romantic partner from the beginning.

“I lift my left hand from my lap and press it against the corduroy overalls covering my stomach. There’s no discernible change in its shape, size, or hardness whatsoever. Yet everything has changed.”

The surreal feeling that her body hasn’t visibly changed despite the profound internal change captures Win’s feelings of surprise at learning of her pregnancy. This development introduces the novel’s theme of The Challenges of Expectant Motherhood and is the incident that begins Win’s internal transformation.

“I’ll still have me, the beach, and this baby come summertime, even if Bo reacts poorly. Even if he wants nothing to do with us. I’ll still have my peace. I just might have to work a little harder for it.”

The quick acceptance of her pregnancy and the alteration in her life show Win’s resiliency and adaptability as a character. Her musing that she will be able to take care of herself and a baby, whether or not Bo participates in parenting, shows that she is prepared for this additional responsibility and relationship; this is the first hint that she is more capable than she knows.

“I can’t help but wonder if he feels this too. The seriousness of this moment. The immense pressure. The looming feeling, as if gravity has been sucked out of this building and we’re floating down this hallway. Barreling, really, toward this new reality.”

Bonam-Young’s prose doesn’t tend toward a lot of figurative language, but she creates a moment of dread and suspense as Win approaches her first ultrasound. This simile comparing her “looming feeling” to altered gravity effectively describes Win’s sense of her changing, disorienting reality.

“The last time I was naked in this home, I left with a very expensive, lifelong party favor.”

Win’s reply at game night when Sarah suggests strip poker captures the quick wit that is characteristic of her personality, one of the qualities that make Win and Bo compatible. Bonam-Young laces her story with humor that provides relief and lightness, balancing out the heavier emotional moments.

“I haven’t made any real progress here. I’ve settled into a stagnant, passable life—safe but perhaps too safe. Smaller than the life I’d like to live moving forward. Maybe this is the fresh start I needed to get my ass into gear.”

Part of Win’s character arc involves being pushed out of self-preservation mode and the holding pattern she’s been in after leaving Jack. The sense of needing a fresh start recurs as her character arc progresses and her relationship with Bo stretches her beyond her comfort zone.

“I miss feeling young and carefree and naïve. I wasted so much of that time wishing I was older. Waiting impatiently to get out and live my own life. But that never really happened. I just got older. And now look at me. Nothing to show for it.”

Moving in with Bo, who has a house, a steady job, and all the markers of adulthood, makes Win more aware that she hasn’t achieved her dreams. The baby becomes her motivation not only to take new risks but also to begin to see herself as a capable adult. This confirms the maturation of her character throughout the book.

“As if we needed to add glasses to this powder keg of hormones I used to call my body.”

One of the notes of humor in the book is Win’s insistence that pregnancy hormones are responsible for her attraction to Bo. Bo’s “nerdy” qualities and Win’s attraction to him because of them make Bo a dimensional character and subvert stereotypes of the conventional romantic hero.

“Everything about Jack was some sort of performance.”

As the previous romantic partner who caused her pain, Jack contributes to Win’s cautiousness about embracing a new relationship with Bo. He also serves as a contrast and foil to Bo, as Jack’s poor qualities emphasize what a superior person and romantic partner Bo is.

“The questions are a great tool to take little peeks at the inside workings of Bo’s brilliant, albeit strange, mind.”

The Twenty Questions to Fall in Love card deck serves as a plot device to help Bo and Win get acquainted and as a symbol of their developing love. It is a gift from Sarah in the baby basket she makes for Bo and Win. The cards facilitate the strong bond of friendship and passion that Sarah and Caleb offer as mentors to Bo and Win.

“My main concern is that sex could lead to more between us, and then if more was to end badly…that could make co-parenting or living together impossible.”

In a romance, one of the devices that authors use to help build sexual tension is having an obstacle keep the characters apart despite their strong physical attraction. Here, Win’s concern about complicating her and Bo’s co-parenting partnership serves as the obstacle to deferring sex and thus letting the longing simmer. At the same time, Win’s concern indicates her growing maturity, as she’s putting the welfare of the child above her impulses.

“The moment he kissed my hand plays on my mind far more often than I’d care to admit. How desirable it made me feel. That he wanted me not despite my differences but, equally, for them.”

Bo’s caress of Win’s hand during their first sexual encounter remains a pointed indicator of his compatibility and becomes a sign of his desirability; he appreciates her as she is, not despite her differences. Feeling loved completely is what romance and The Healing Power of Healthy Relationships promise.

“I’d been directionless for so long. Keeping my head down, living the day-to-day with no real plan for the future. But now, I have my head up. Longing for what’s to come, as new and rewardingly terrifying as it may be.”

Win’s internal monologue as she reflects on Bo’s question about whether she would go back and prevent her unplanned pregnancy captures a shift in her character arc as she realizes that the changes resulting from her pregnancy have been good for her. The image of waking up shows how Win feels newly present in her life and willing to move toward her dreams.

“Think of all the expressions there are just for moms. ‘She’s going to have her hands full!’ Or ‘You’re going to need an extra set of hands!’”

These common clichés about needing extra hands for parenting tap into Win’s insecurities that she won’t be a good mother. Win having a small hand heightens these insecurities and exacerbates the challenges of expectant motherhood. Confessing this vulnerability to Bo, as she does here, becomes a point of connection between the protagonists regarding perceptions about disability and ableism. The resolution to Win’s character arc entails realizing that she is, in fact, a fully capable parent.

“The Twenty Questions to Fall in Love certainly did what it says on the box.”

Win’s reflection that the title of the card game delivered on its promise reflects the occasional wry humor of the book’s narrative voice and confirms the game’s work as foreshadowing. The continuing use of the device of questions shows that Bo and Win are ready to explore a future together in new ways.

“I can’t help but grin, all the while imagining what could be. The best-case scenario, for once. The version of life where Bo and I walk hand in hand into something new for us both.”

Sarah’s game of imagining the worst-case scenario is another way in which she acts as a guide and mentor for Win. In this iteration of the game, Win imagines the best possible outcome of telling Bo she loves him, indicating the turn in her character arc as her internal obstacles to commitment disappear.

“Suddenly, it feels like I’m on the edge of a cliff, about to be handed either a parachute or an anvil. And based on the look on Bo’s face, it feels like he’s got a parachute with my name on it. One of his own, too.”

The author employs a simile through the image of standing on a cliff to represent what Win feels while wanting to tell Bo she loves him. The choice of an anvil or parachute, while a humorous allusion to a popular cartoon scenario, conveys her feelings about each possible outcome: a soft landing in love or the crushing weight of rejection. Realizing that Bo’s face looks like he has “a parachute with [Win’s] name on it” offers her a sense of reassurance, as she realizes that Bo is just as emotionally invested, ready to offer her the support and safety she previously feared she might not receive.

“They’ll never know how existing in a body that the world is not designed to accommodate can create so many avenues of empathy for others who are experiencing the same thing […] The determination and the resilience that come from that. The community it cultivates.”

Bonam-Young’s personal experience with limb difference allows her to imbue Win’s experience with realistic emotion, including her conflicted feelings of relief—and then guilt over her relief—when she learns that August is developing typically. Win’s reflection on what one learns from living in a world designed for people without disabilities directly reflects perceptions about disability and ableism, something the author also experiences.

“I wish I could take out his soul and smooth it out too, remove every wrinkle and crease and stain and give it back to him as good as new.”

Win’s wish to soothe Bo’s hurt when she learns how his mother died—expressed here in the imagery of smoothing out his soul, which is wrinkled, creased, and stained like a garment after heavy wear—reflects that she loves and cares for him deeply. This emotional connection precipitates the consummation of the physical relationship that follows.

“Because when you love someone this much, when you’ve seen their hurt and their heart and you recognize them as your own—you’re left with no choice but to give yourself over to it.”

Bo and Win’s mutual declaration of love serves as the climax of the narrative, the moment of peak emotional intensity, and the turning point of the action. This revelation is the moment that everything else was building toward, and the subsequent chapters are largely resolution and denouement as their lives come together.

“I just don’t want this tilted scale. This uneven score. This tally I’m still unconvinced isn’t being counted. Bo’s gifts, kind acts, and generosity weighed against mine. The competition it feels like I’m losing.”

The last obstacle to Win’s “happily ever after” with Bo is the feeling that she gets more than she gives and that the relationship is somehow unequal. She’s still sensitive to the ways her relationship with Jack felt unequal. Bo’s insistence that it pleases him to take care of Win indicates his nurturing qualities, which solidify him as a desirable romantic partner.