Pictures of You

While signs of domestic violence, including physical or verbal abuse, may be easily identified, coercive control is a more subtle form of emotional abuse that may not be recognized as such. The not-for-profit community organization Relationships Australia Victoria (RAV) defines coercive control as a pattern of behaviors intended to control or manipulate the actions of another in a relationship (“What Is Coercive Control?” Relationships Australia Victoria). The goal of the person perpetrating the abuse is to use intimidation or fear to control or influence their partner, creating dependency on the abuser over the long term.

According to RAV and the website Healthline, a common strategy of coercive control is the attempt to isolate a person from friends, family, and outside support (“How to Recognize Coercive Control.” Healthline). The controlling partner will insist a target withdraw from other relationships or try to persuade them that those relationships are not healthy. An abuser will often exhibit jealousy about the target’s interactions with others, even work colleagues or acquaintances.

Monitoring activity is another red flag. This may include tracking movements, as Oliver uses an app to track Evie, or may take more subtle forms, such as monitoring social media and telephone calls. Oliver syncs Evie’s calendar with his own quite early in the relationship so he can be aware of her activities. He frequently tries to contact Evie when she is with Drew, and he controls the production of her podcast. In addition to monitoring, a sign of coercive control is when one partner tries to limit the autonomy of another, for instance, encouraging them to quit a job, restricting access to transportation, or taking possession of a phone or passwords.

Oliver’s sending emails from Evie’s account, pretending to be her, is a severe instance of this.

Another form of coercive control is gaslighting, in which the abuser insists on their own version of events, causing the target to doubt their own perception or understanding. The abuser will influence the target’s self-confidence with frequent criticism and put-downs. The controlling partner frequently uses finances to restrict the other partner. An example in the novel is how Oliver gives Evie what is essentially an allowance, controls their credit cards and bank accounts, and persuades her to quit her employment. A controlling partner may press the other into domestic roles, may limit access to children or dependents, and will often attempt to control aspects of the target’s body, the way Oliver throws away the candy bar Evie had tucked in her bag.

Abusers are likely to control a sexual relationship and make demands that infringe on the target’s consent. In more extreme forms, the controlling partner will target members of the household, like children or pets, with threats of harm to extract compliance. Oliver’s threat to harm himself if Evie doesn’t do as he wishes is a clear sign of coercive control, while his attempt to end both their lives because she wants a divorce is the most extreme version of this wish to control her.

It can be difficult for a person experiencing coercive control to access help if the abuser has managed to distance and isolate them from support groups. Domestic violence hotlines can provide assistance and counsel a person on how to find safety. While some countries, like the UK, identify coercive control as a crime, others, like the US, only recognize overt harm to person or property, as in cases of domestic or sexual violence. It can be very difficult for the controlled partner to even recognize the control, much less try to escape it, as Evie’s experience attests.