Praise

As Emerson and Charlie cuddle together in Emerson’s bed, Charlie reflects on how their relationship has changed. They have penetrative sex, during which she reflects on how her primary emotional understanding of him is as her Dominant.

The next morning, Charlie goes to work early and waits, kneeling, for Emerson. She takes intense emotional satisfaction from his praise and caring commands, which she reflects let her forget about her other problems momentarily. They spend the workday exchanging flirtatious glances and sexual touches, which Charlie finds distracting but enjoyable. When Emerson speaks to her using degrading language during sex, Charlie considers it highly arousing and “ironically surreal” in that it cements how Emerson never makes her feel “substandard” (181). She hopes that their relationship will last.

Sophie and Charlie joke around while Charlie sets up for Sophie’s birthday party. Emerson texts her, and Charlie feels uncertain about whether or not their relationship includes discussions of non-work and non-sexual matters. Even so, she tells him about Sophie’s birthday. When Charlie’s mother, Gwen, comments on Charlie’s recent happiness, she denies having a new romance.

Charlie is shocked when Emerson appears at the party, asking for her. She feels awkward about Emerson meeting her family, which seems to amuse him. She finds his lighthearted enjoyment of the party fascinating, as it is a side of him that she rarely sees. She is touched when Emerson gives Sophie VIP tickets to “Anime Fest,” a convention that Sophie longed to attend but that Charlie could not afford; he remembered an offhand comment that Charlie made weeks prior. She also feels resentful that he is so perfect since it seems unlikely that their relationship will last.

Charlie is further astonished when Emerson agrees, at Gwen’s invitation, to join a movie night with her family. She spends the evening anxious that he will find her home inadequate and that it will disrupt his vision of her as “perfect” and “flawless” during their kink dynamic. When they retreat to the small pool house where she lives, her worries intensify, particularly when he asks about a photo of Sophie before her transition. Charlie confides that her father abandoned the family because of his anti-trans prejudice. When Emerson praises her loyalty to her family, she demurs until he assumes his Dominant persona and insists that she not argue with his assessment that she is “perfect.”

Emerson urges Charlie to articulate her sexual desires, asking her to be as explicit as possible. She is initially embarrassed, but then she finds the “freedom to be sexual and feel good” to be “liberating” (200). They engage in mutual masturbation. She is surprised when he plans to sleep in her small bed and admits to feeling that he doesn’t “deserve” her.

A busy workweek leaves Emerson frustrated over having limited time to spend with Charlie. He anticipates showing her more elements of kink, particularly those that challenge her insecurities. He and Charlie go to the club, which is in chaos. He dislikes when Garrett flirts absently with her, and then he grows even more displeased when Charlie speaks in a self-deprecating manner. He focuses his anger on Charlie’s father, whom he loathes for treating his daughters poorly.

Several club employees are sick in advance of a highly anticipated date auction. Garrett wants to include Charlie in the lineup of women who plan to auction an hour of their time, which can include sex or not, at their discretion. Though jealous, Emerson agrees to ask Charlie because he hopes that it will improve her self-image to be so tangibly desired. When he discusses this with Charlie, they become distracted by the news that her sexually transmitted infection panel has come back negative. They have sex without a condom, which they find arousing and intimate. Emerson plans to purchase Charlie’s time himself, though he thinks he’s selfish for keeping her from “someone who could love her for real” (210).

Charlie is anxious before the auction, both due to her negative self-comparison to the other women in the auction and because she worries that Emerson’s encouragement to join the event means that he cares little about her. She speaks with Madame Kink, who helps her get ready for the auction. Madame Kink comments that Emerson seems uncommonly attentive to Charlie, but she confirms that she has never had sex with him since they are both “very dominant.” Madame Kink’s cavalier attitude toward discussing sex and kink makes Charlie feel out of place and only welcome in the club as Emerson’s “accessory.”

Charlie is astonished when a club member named Ronan Kade starts bidding for her time at $10,000. Kade and Emerson get into a bidding war, which makes her increasingly anxious that she is not worth the amounts of money they bid. Emerson ends up paying $75,000 for her time.

Despite winning, he seems angry as he brings Charlie to one of the club’s private rooms. He explains that he will enact one of their mutually agreed-upon sexual “punishments” because of her earlier self-denigrating comments. He uses nipple clamps on her, which Charlie finds to be an appealing combination of pain, fear, and sexual touch. When she refuses to admit that she is worth the large sum he paid, he drips hot candle wax on her. Emerson asks if Charlie would like to use a safe word to end the encounter, but she declines. She eventually admits her fear that he will leave her “like everyone does” (221). Emerson reassures her that she is “his” and that he has no desire to leave her. They have sex, which Charlie finds emotionally cathartic. Emerson wishes that Charlie could see herself as he sees her, but she fears that she will be unable to ever do so and cries as she admits this.

Emerson soothes Charlie, reassuring her that she has no reason to be embarrassed about her tears, which are a natural reaction to pain. Charlie worries over the discrepancy between their plan to have a covert sexual affair and the way they each act as though the other is extremely important to them. They return to Emerson’s house, where he washes her with careful gentleness. He explains that taking care of her is part of his role as a Dominant and that, moreover, he doesn’t want her to always play the submissive role. She bathes him in return, observing that he rarely lets others care for him. She turns their encounter sexual to obscure her desire for a true romantic relationship with him. He admits that he does “want to keep [her] forever” but that he cannot (231).

Garrett reveals that he has found Charlie’s social media, which reveals her past relationship with Beau. He agrees not to tell anyone else. Emerson finds comfort in being able to tell the truth of how he and Charlie came to be together to his best friend. He admits that he has called Beau less since his relationship with Charlie became sexual. Garrett observes that Emerson seems “different” with Charlie than with any of his past partners. Emerson agrees but feels that he cannot choose Charlie over Beau. Garrett counters that he doesn’t feel that Emerson should “throw away” his evident happiness with Charlie. He urges Emerson to tell Beau the truth and promises to support his friend no matter what happens.

Later, Emerson and Charlie cuddle on the couch after she spent the day at Anime Fest with Sophie. He feels “growing tension” between them the longer they fail to discuss their mutual desire to plan for a longer-term relationship. Emerson discusses Beau, though he knows that it will make the tension worse. He admits that he hid the details of the club from Beau when he was younger; when Beau learned the truth as an adult, he felt betrayed. Charlie offers that Beau can be judgmental, but Emerson cuts her off, determined to blame only himself for the discord between them.

Charlie explains that she feels that Emerson should tell Beau the truth. She doesn’t think that Emerson is a bad father, but rather a good one who is willing to sacrifice his own happiness for his child’s. She fears, however, that she will not recover from their breakup. They have frantic, passionate sex. Emerson realizes that he loves her, but he does not feel that this solves the problems in their relationship.

Charlie finds returning to their Dominant-submissive relationship at work reassuring. Emerson uses the wearable vibrator on her throughout the day, which increases their sexual arousal over hours. Charlie begins to feel that she could accept a long-term relationship with him in secret.

When she and Emerson return from getting lunch, however, Beau is waiting to “hang out.” He has a new job and is excited to share the news. Charlie accidentally slips and calls Emerson “sir” in front of Beau; he comments on this but does not seem to suspect that they have a sexual relationship. When Charlie sees how happy Beau and Emerson are to spend time together, she feels selfish for encouraging Emerson to tell Beau the truth. As Beau leaves, he accidentally grabs the remote to the wearable vibrator instead of the fob to his car, which causes it to vibrate with painful intensity. Charlie’s obvious discomfort makes Beau suspicious, but Emerson insists that “it’s nothing,” which hurts Charlie’s feelings. She suddenly examines the past months through a different lens and feels disgusted with herself for changing her personality in order to earn Emerson’s praise. She leaves the house despite Emerson’s insistence that she stay, feeling foolish for thinking that his feelings for her are genuine.