Praise

“[Beau] just had a way of making me feel worthless and desperate for any positive attention from him, so much so that I spent more time trying to please him than actually being happy—something that became abundantly clear after we broke up.”

Charlie’s reflection of her former relationship with Beau sets up the question of whether validation from others is empowering or not. Her word choices—“worthless” and “desperate”—show her awareness of how deeply her self-worth has been tied up with external validation. Later, Charlie will go on to question whether her desire for praise from Emerson is similarly unhealthy. However, she will conclude that Emerson makes her feel powerful and confident, while Beau made her feel unworthy. Moreover, she is actively happy with pleasing Emerson, highlighting the reciprocity of their relationship.

“What a ridiculous thing to feel so good about, some stranger’s praise.”

Charlie’s self-criticism reveals her internalized shame for her desire for praise in sexual contexts, especially through the juxtaposition of “ridiculous” with “so good.” The phrase “some stranger’s praise” creates distance from the act, framing it as absurd. The quote illustrates her early struggle to reconcile her feminist values with her interest in sexual submission.

“I hate my traitorous body for how turned on I felt in that moment, but that’s just a natural reaction, right? Because I am a fully-fledged, card-carrying, fist-pumping feminist. The last thing I need to be satisfied with my life is a man’s approval.”

By characterizing her body as “traitorous,” Charlie shows that she believes there is a dissonance between her physical desires and her intellectual identity as a feminist. Her tongue-in-cheek tone as she lists her feminist credentials highlights the performative aspects of this identity. One of the misapprehensions about kink that Charlie initially has is her certainty that power play in sex always puts men in a position of authority over women. However, her overall reframing of Dom-sub relationships as being based in a mutual exchange of power directs Charlie to increasingly see the feminist potential in kink.

“I wanted the broken parts of him because I thought if I could love him through the storm, I would be rewarded with a love that was more intense and intoxicating. I was wrong.”

Charlie’s metaphor of “love him through the storm” romanticizes the idea of suffering, though her consecutive statement—“I was wrong”—immediately shows this to be false. Her relationship with Beau was an unequal one: Charlie helped Beau through his struggles, expecting to be “rewarded” with love, but she learns that this was a poor plan for securing happiness since it led to unmet expectations. By contrast, she and Emerson agree on the terms of their relationship beforehand, leading to greater satisfaction.

“I never considered myself sexy before, but as I stare at my full curves and the fleshy softness of my belly, I love the way I look in this. I see something sexy I never saw before.”

Cate presents a tacit moment of body positivity by praising Charlie’s curves and softness. The narrative of inclusivity in Praise more explicitly refers to gender identity and sexuality, but it also argues that people of all types—and all body types—can gain confidence by diminishing judgment in general.

“What could possibly be so bad about being someone’s pet, sub, or slave? In the playful sense, of course. As long as its consensual and everyone has something to gain, I don’t see why it’s so taboo.”

Charlie’s shifting understanding of kink is presented as offering a pedagogical opportunity; her arc shows her reservations about submissive sex (namely, that it is antifeminist and patriarchal to seek a man’s approval) move toward an acceptance of kink practices without compromising her feminist ethics. The list structure (“pet, sub, or slave”) escalates in intensity, forcing readers to confront ideas that are often misunderstood or seen as taboo. This structure highlights the idea that these ideas lose their associations of danger when reframed through consent.

“There is still so much stigma attached with sexual fantasies and pleasure, it’s ridiculous.”

Emerson’s observation that there is “still” stigma attached to sexual desire, particularly non-normative or kink desires, presents this stigma as being outdated and anachronistic. Thereby, he positions those who oppose kink as old-fashioned.

“There must be some unwritten rule that people who know of and partake in the kinky stuff can be kinky and flirtatious around each other. But to the rest of us, they have to modify their behavior. Like we’re the muggles and they’re the wizards.”

Charlie makes a literary allusion to J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, in which “muggles” refers to non-magical people. This indicates that Charlie sees people in the kink community as having access to a secret world from which she is kept separate. This indicates her continued sense of outsider status even as she becomes more familiar with the Salacious Players’ Club. This reference also provides a point of tension with Praise’s strong support of Sophie, a transgender girl, as Rowling has become a controversial figure for her anti-trans bias.

“The first thought in my head is that this throne is for kings, larger-than-life men, monarchs and masters. But as my fingers glide along the ridges and peaks of the decor, I correct my train of thought. Why can’t I sit in it?”

The throne at the Salacious Players’ Club helps Charlie shift her thinking from trying to determine why she might deserve something (including sexual satisfaction and the relationship she desires) to assuming that she does deserve these things. The throne symbolizes sexual authority, and as Charlie touches it, she feels more intimate with that authority. With the quote’s concluding question, she moves toward asserting her desire for sexual power.

“It excited me to be so admired in the shop, to use my body in a way that worked for me. To be comfortable in my own skin and flaunt that.”

Charlie pushes back against the cultural narrative that a woman “using” her body for attention is a shameful or inherently immoral activity. Instead, she focuses on the sense of confidence that her harmless flirting with the comic store employee gives her. This reinforces the novel’s message that sexuality can be a source of playfulness and enjoyment rather than being something that is inherently serious.

“We made a pact. Whenever we need a chat, we ask, Do I seem happy? And the other person has to be honest.”

Charlie’s pact with Sophie reveals the sisters’ close relationship and their investment in one another’s lives. The honesty and concern in their dynamic is a contrast to Charlie’s tendency to suppress her vulnerability in her other relationships. This quote also highlights that Sophie’s perspective on Charlie is trustworthy.

“There’s nothing really too taboo or unacceptable. No wonder people feel comfortable here. It’s freeing.”

Charlie experiences the Salacious Players’ Club as a space of freedom to express herself, notably through her curiosity about kink practices. She is pleasantly surprised that she finds it “freeing,” and this reinforces how guarded and unsure of herself she feels in her so-called “normal” life.

“‘Good. Don’t be nervous. Just be yourself. That’s the beauty of this place. Emerson’s given us somewhere to finally be free.’

‘Us?’ I ask.

‘Yeah…you don’t think this place is just for men, do you?’”

Madame Kink’s reassurance that the Salacious Players’ Club is a space for women as well as men helps Charlie embrace her place at the club. Madame Kink states that the club is kink positive as well as gender inclusive, and this satisfies Charlie’s feminist ideas. This encounter also builds a friendship between the two women, which gives Charlie a source to learn about kink from someone knowledgeable but with whom she is not romantically involved.

“He’s not taking anything I’m not willfully giving. This relationship is symbiotic and wholly powerful. Intoxicating almost.”

By characterizing her relationship with Emerson as one in which she is “willfully giving,” Charlie emphasizes that it is based on consent. She also describes it as “symbiotic” and fulfilling, highlighting that her submissive role is not one of passivity. The word “intoxicating” refers not only to the physical pleasures they experience but also to the trust they share.

“If this were a normal secretary job, a normal Dom/sub situation, or a normal romantic relationship, I would at least know what’s expected of me. But we’re not any of those things. We’re a little of everything and it’s confusing.”

Charlie’s repetition of the word “normal” highlights how she craves structure and feels lost regarding the complex nature of her relationship with Emerson, which is hard to label even within nontraditional arrangements. She finds the ambiguous nature of their relationship to be a challenge, though she enjoys the kink aspects of it.

“But the way Emerson makes me feel. The way I feel about him. How my heart seems to almost expand in his presence, the way I like myself more when I’m around him. How I want to be the only girl in the world he ever sets eyes on again.”

In this excerpt, Charlie emphasizes the ways that her desire to please Emerson are ultimately more about herself than they are about Emerson. While the two ultimately complement one another, they are drawn together primarily due to the ways they make each other feel good about themselves. Emerson’s praise thus leads Charlie to value herself.

“[I feel] like he is everything and nothing exists outside this room. I have no other purpose, which really makes me feel at peace. No other purpose means no other worry. Not a mortgage I have to help my mother cover or a struggling little sister. No estranged dad or broken family. In this space, it’s just him and me. My tasks are simple and fulfilling—please my sir. I don’t even care anymore about what anyone would say or think about this arrangement. It makes me happy.”

Cate explores the psychology of sexual submission. For Charlie, this is something that helps her focus on the present moment and on her happiness, rather than worrying about the other problems in her life. Her language—“everything,” “no other purpose”—highlights her total immersion.

“But the way Emerson makes me feel, so secure and loved. I mean…he just finished calling me a dirty slut and I still feel as if he never truly talks down to me or makes me feel substandard, even as we play roles where I am literally inferior to him.”

Here, Charlie reflects on how she finds sexual degradation as a kink practice to be emotionally affirming because she has previously agreed to it. With her prearranged consent, Emerson’s supposedly unkind words actually indicate that he listens carefully to what she does and does not want. This builds trust between them, which lets Charlie be vulnerable in his presence.

“A small sense of worry fills my gut. I trust Emerson, but what if he’s not perfect with [Sophie]?”

Even as her trust in Emerson grows, Charlie worries that he will be unkind to Sophie. This stems from her father’s judgment when Sophie came out as transgender, revealing that the “small sense of worry” is actually rooted in a deep trauma in Charlie’s past. It also highlights the importance that Charlie places on her family, bridging the gap between the erotic and familial plots of the novel.

“I sob. ‘I just mess everything up. I don’t deserve you. You think I’m so great now, but you’ll realize eventually that I’m not good enough, and you’ll leave me. Like everyone does.’”

Charlie and Emerson’s Dom-sub scene following the date auction helps Charlie admit to insecurities that she has struggled to articulate even to herself. This admission, which Emerson orders her to give as part of their dynamic, helps her begin to heal from these anxieties. By placing this confession within a Dom-sub scene, Cate shows how kink, under the right conditions, can express care and lead to emotional honesty.

“But he loved Charlotte, not Charlie.”

Emerson prefers to use Charlie’s full name when addressing her, leading her to fear that he only likes the version of herself that she presents during their kink dynamic. When she and Emerson break up, this causes her old fears about her perceived unworthiness to resurge. She ultimately realizes that she is both Charlotte and Charlie and that Emerson admires both sides of herself.

“You said what people think in their heads is a them problem. Don’t make it yours.”

Here, Sophie repeats what Charlie told her when Sophie was worried about facing anti-trans bias after coming out. Sophie indicates that Charlie should also not shape her life according to what others might think about her relationship with Emerson, despite their age difference. This builds on the novel’s connection between acceptance and tolerance toward kink practitioners and the LGTBQ+ community.

“It feels like feigning confidence, but honestly, what’s the difference between real confidence and fake confidence? Probably nothing.”

Charlie previously equated her lack of confidence with the sense that she did not deserve to be confident. Her determination to feign confidence until she feels it ties into her belief that perhaps others face doubts, too. She realizes that she is not uniquely uncertain and therefore not uniquely unlovable, which is something she previously feared.