Problematic Summer Romance

“I laugh. ‘Yeah, I get that a lot.’ I’m used to being identified as Eli Killgore’s little sister first, and only later as an individual in my own right. And I don’t mind much.”

This excerpt from Chapter 1 comes after Avery tells Maya she resembles Eli. Maya’s response here highlights the sibling dynamic wherein the younger sibling often is defined by their relationship to the older sibling. This quote reflects The Pressure of Expectations on Relationships, as Maya’s willingness to be seen primarily as someone’s sister suggests a reluctance to define her own identity, which she must work through over the course of the novel. These lines foreshadow the internal conflict she faces about which job opportunity to accept.

“Before the illness, before the accident, I’d been my mom’s best friend and Daddy’s little girl. I missed them so much, held inside such mountains of grief, I constantly felt on the brink of choking. Only one thing lent me air: my rage. It reached through my rib cage and pierced little holes in my lungs. It allowed me to function. It kept me alive.”

Here, Maya details how the loss of her parents affected her. These lines describe the pain of the loss, as well as of the trauma she felt losing such big influences and loves in her life. Following this, she describes the work she did to work through her trauma, which she was mainly able to accomplish because of the rage that kept her moving. Maya’s acknowledgment of the role rage played makes it clear that rage can be a useful emotion. However, Maya also attributes her poor behavior and choices to rage throughout the book, showing that rage can also be destructive.