PS: I Hate You

Dominic is the male love interest of the novel, Josh Sanderson’s best friend, and Rosaline’s ex-husband. He is described by Maddie as “devastatingly handsome” with a “chiseled jaw, warm brown eyes […] and black hair that swoops in an infuriatingly perfect wave over his pale forehead” (4). Despite the warm and charming nature of his physical descriptions from Maddie’s point of view, she initially describes his personality as the opposite. Maddie views him as domineering, “used to taking control of a situation” (6). The fact that Dom is named executor of Josh’s will and is sent on the ash-spreading journey with Maddie only increases the antagonism between them, specifically on her end. Though she barely tolerates him at first, due to his rejection of her in the past, she eventually comes to see him as one of the few people who knew Josh just as much—perhaps even more—than she did.

The theme of The Importance of Seizing the Moment is particularly important with Dom’s character, as he is always choosing the responsible path, even if it’s not the one he desires. He chooses to eat strictly healthy foods he finds utterly disgusting, rather than eat the occasional unhealthy food that makes him happy. Likewise, he gave up his love for Maddie at a young age to do the “responsible” thing and marry Rosaline. Maddie views Dom as a man who “needs to be pushed. And prodded. And poked” in order to “give himself permission to make a joke” (196). She remains a good influence on him throughout the novel as she continuously gives him a safe space to be goofy and let go of the responsibilities that keep him caged.

Dom’s grief is quiet but omnipresent, and his love for both Josh and Maddie is expressed through action over words. From remembering Maddie’s favorite candy to using her birthday as a safe combination, his gestures show deep emotional attunement. Unlike Maddie, who initially fights emotional exposure, Dom demonstrates a form of vulnerability that is grounded in presence, patience, and emotional steadiness. He is not the man who demands trust—he earns it, over time, by showing up, listening, and waiting.

Josh Sanderson, 29, is a commanding presence throughout the novel even though he’s physically absent. His death may catalyze the story, but his written voice, wit, and emotional depth animate the book’s structure and emotional weight. He is described as “a natural comedian who could take the darkest moment and make a joke that would have you laughing while the world around you was a shit show” (3). This quote encapsulates Josh’s defining trait: his refusal to let despair dominate even the bleakest situations. In life, he was not only a sibling for Maddie but also a buffer, a moral compass in chaos, and an expert in levity in grief. This situates him as the gravitational point around which all the strongest connections in Maddie’s life orbit.

Josh’s character is also deeply tied to the theme of seizing the moment, as this is what he did in life and what he encourages both Dom and Maddie to do after his death. His elaborate scavenger hunt of ash-spreading instructions turns mourning and grief into motion to better his friend and sister’s lives. By turning his final wishes into an interactive journey, Josh continues his lifelong habit of nudging Maddie out of her comfort zone, echoing their childhood games. Josh knows how to push people toward growth without robbing them of autonomy. Even Dom, the novel’s steady realist, is often persuaded by Josh to join “senseless activity he never would’ve chosen himself” (33). These memories frame Josh as a joyful disruptor, someone who understood how to push the boundaries of his loved ones for their own betterment.

Rosaline occupies a unique role in the novel: She is Dom’s ex-wife, Josh’s secret lover, and the woman against whom Maddie has measured herself for most of her life, making her a foil for Maddie, at least in Maddie’s mind. From Maddie’s perspective, Rosaline represents the perfection she wishes to be and a threat to what she wants most (Dom). Rosaline’s character acts as a mirror that distorts Maddie’s self-worth and feeds long-standing insecurities. Early in the novel, Maddie sees her as someone who “even makes grief look beautiful” (14), observing her poised sorrow with both awe and bitterness. Her elegance is not just physical, with her “bronze curls,” “thick-lashed eyes,” and “high bun,” but emotional. She is described as “kind and gracious and caring” (277), which only deepens Maddie’s self-loathing by contrast.

Maddie admits that her feelings toward Rosaline are not grounded in actual hatred but in the way Rosaline’s presence exacerbates her deepest insecurities: “What I hate is who I am, and always was, around her” (18). Rosaline’s closeness to both Dom and Josh—and her natural affinity with people—makes her an emotional fulcrum around which Maddie’s resentment and longing for connection and acceptance pivot.

However, Rosaline is never portrayed as manipulative or villainous. Her emotional vulnerability and open affection for others endear her character further as the novel unfolds. Her secret romance with Josh, revealed only after his death, retroactively adds layers to her presence as it reveals a hidden connection between her and Maddie while also dismantling the threat she posed to Maddie’s relationship with Dom. Rosaline turns from Maddie’s competition to the only other woman who can truly understand what it was like to lose Josh. Her willingness to share this truth with Maddie, and her sincere grief for Josh, align her not as a rival but as someone who loved—and lost—just as profoundly.