Purple Heart

The next day the squad patrols the market, and McNally pairs Matt with Charlene, as he wants Matt to “take it easy” (146). Matt has difficulty keeping up with all his gear on, and he finds himself seeing Ali “everywhere, in every kid on the street” (147). Matt is humiliated when he has to ask Charlene to take a break, but when she agrees, he sees a “little hint of warmth in her eyes” (148).

That night Matt shares a dip of Skoal with Justin and Wolf, and they start talking about death, with Wolf saying he wants to die “doing something important” (150). Justin quotes Rambo—“live for nothing or die for something” (150)—and Matt thinks how strange it is that in times of crisis, “the person they turned to was a fake action hero from the ’80s” (151). Later, while the rest of the squad is sleeping, Matt is disturbed by the sound of a single gunshot and is unable to fall back asleep. Instead, he relies on headache pills and caffeine gum to face the day again.

Early in the morning, Matt finds Charlene outside lifting weights. Charlene tells Matt he’s “different now” (153), and Matt responds that Charlene has changed as well—she’s “nicer” (153). Charlene, unable to articulate what has changed about Matt, says that she just wants “to be sure [he's] okay” (154).

Sergeant McNally announces that they’ll be patrolling the area around al-Hilma Mosque—near the alley where Matt was injured. In their vehicle, the squad plays a “celebrity versus celebrity” game they’ve come up with to distract them from the fact they could be hit by an IED at any moment, and Justin and Charlene have a tense exchange that ends with Justin telling Charlene to “drink some of [her] herbal PMS tea” (156).

Charlene and Matt are paired up again as the squad patrols a commercial district, and Charlene wonders: “What’s the matter with your pal Justin?” (158). Matt feels bad for Charlene, and considering “no one really talked to [her] much” (158), he asks her about what she’s going to do back home. They have a casual conversation until Matt hears an Arabic love song on a radio and suddenly, irrationally, aims his weapon at an old man holding a wrench. Even once he’s lowered his gun, he can hear only “the quivering voice of a woman [hanging] in the air” (160). As the patrol continues, Matt takes more headache pills but still complains: “My fucking head is killing me” (160).

That night, Matt is unable to sleep again. He keeps hearing the song from the radio, and it brings back his memories of the alley. Desperate, he remembers Father Brennan telling him: “Be still. And know” (162). Matt falls to his knees and prays.

After praying for “peace of mind” (164) the night before, Matt returns to his duties with no caffeine or headache pills in his system—they’ve made him “jumpy and out of it at the same time” (164). Charlene and Matt are patrolling together again when Matt hears a muezzin—the exact one he’d heard in the alley where Ali was killed. He examines his surroundings, realizes he’s only about a block from the alley, and asks Charlene to cover if anyone asks where he is. Charlene replies that “you and your little Rambo buddy might pull that kind of shit” (166), but she’s going to follow the rules—and for the first time Matt realizes how seriously he and Justin broke the rules that day in the alley. More determined than ever to figure out what really happened, Matt ignores Charlene’s warnings and heads for the alley.

In the alley, Matt locates the “giant crater” (167) where the RPG that injured him exploded, then finds the doorway where Ali died. The only evidence of the tragedy is “a single bullet hole,” (168) and Matt pauses to say “a brief prayer for forgiveness”—forgiveness from both God and Ali (168). Then, as he’s leaving the alley, Matt notices the window where Justin was positioned, and he again pictures Ali as he was hit by the blast. Matt realizes that the angle of Ali’s falling body “meant he’d been shot from across the alley” (169)—from the window where Justin stood.

Matt returns to the squad to find McNally hasn’t noticed he was gone. Charlene reveals that she covered for him, saying he had to “take a leak” (170). Matt wonders why Justin, who is “an excellent shot,” would have shot Ali “intentionally” (171) as the evidence seems to indicate, as well as why McNally would have “let it slide” (171) when Justin and Matt disobeyed orders.

Back at the base, McNally pulls Matt aside and reveals he knows Matt went off on his own and not to do so again—he doesn’t want Matt “to end up in that hospital again” (173). Later, Justin says he saw Matt talking to McNally and warns him not to “fuck things up” (175), then leaves without further explanation.

The squad learns the cease-fire has been extended and talks are in place about a withdrawal date for U.S. troops, leaving everyone “in high spirits” (176). As they patrol the market, the Iraqis seem more relaxed than before the cease-fire, with one old man offering the entire squad cups of chai and calling “Peace!” (177). Charlene is talking with a man selling rugs when with a bright flash, a piece of metal that “looked strangely like a frying pan” (178) hits her in the chin. The entire rug stall is destroyed in the blast and Matt hurries to check on Charlene, but finds no pulse or breath. Matt pulls her into his arms and rocks her body back and forth as all around him people scream, the marketplace burns and “a fine gray ash was falling, like snow” (179).

Matt hears gunfire and realizes that whoever set off the bomb is now firing at the surviving Americans. Laying Charlene gently on one of the rugs she was admiring, he looks around and sees the insurgents set fire to a drainage ditch. They fire from behind it, while across from them Matt spies McNally’s radio antenna. For a moment, Matt catches sight of one of the enemy fighters with a grenade launcher—a guy in a blue track suit who, Matt sees through the scope of his M16, is aiming at Justin. Despite his shaking fingers, Matt manages to aim and fire at the man in the track suit.

When the firing stops, Matt picks up Charlene and heads for McNally. Firing starts again, and Justin comes into the open and covers Matt so that he can make it to the rest of the squad, his right leg “trembl[ing] the whole time” (182). Matt sees another soldier facedown, parts of his uniform burned off, and identifies him by the wolf decal on his helmet: it’s Wolf.

The firing stops again, and a U.S. helicopter appears, raining missiles on the building behind the ditch where the insurgents are stationed. Matt notices that Justin’s leg is bleeding, and as they’re waiting for a medic, Justin tells Matt: “I did it” (184). Matt immediately realizes Justin is referring to Ali. Justin adds that it was his “fault” (184) they were in the alley and that Ali was a “spotter” (185), giving information about Matt’s position to the insurgent fighters. Before he can say any more, the medics arrive and take Justin away.

Matt and the remaining squad members take shelter in an abandoned warehouse, where Matt considers what Justin revealed. He agrees it was Justin’s “fault” they ended up in the alley—Justin was “so intent on being the hero” (187) that he led them into a reckless situation. Then, picturing the scene of Ali’s death one more time, Matt remembers a new detail: Ali had been wearing shoes with soccer cleats. The only way a “street kid” (187) could have gotten shoes like that was from the insurgents.

Back at the barracks, Matt takes on the responsibility of packing up Wolf’s things to send back to his family. Matt feels “as if he were observing the process form a distance” (188-189), folding clothes that “now belonged to a dead man” (188). Seeing the Humvee packed with both Wolf’s and Charlene’s “last possessions” (189)—“stupid stuff” (189) like Wolf’s Christmas lights and Charlene’s stuffed animal—Matt grabs on to the fender and doesn’t let go until the vehicle drives off. He falls to the ground, sobbing.

Thinking about Ali, Matt realizes Ali was “just a kid […] [but] a kid who was so hungry, so desperate, he’d do anything” (190). Matt not thinks himself “a fool” (190). He thought he was being “a good guy” (190) by befriending Ali, but in fact, this friendship enabled Ali to spy on Matt and ultimately got the boy killed. What’s more, that friendship had “put the whole squad at risk” (191). Figueroa tells Matt after the incident that injured Matt, Justin “got kinda weird" (191). He was "snapping at people” (191)and unable to pull the trigger of his gun (191). When the bomb went off in the market, Justin “lost it” and ran for McNally “like a baby running to its mother” (192), before recovering to protect Matt. Matt reflects that the incident in the alley had “shaken” (192) Justin just as much as it had Matt—but when it “mattered most” (192), the two men still protected each other.

The day after the bombing in the market, Matt helps McNally set up two rifles and pairs of boots at their base, in what used to be a school playground—one memorial for Wolf, and one for Charlene. McNally says that he saw a guy with a backpack walk up to Wolf and ask for a smoke, then blow himself up: “Wolf never even had a chance” (194). Matt remembers Charlene warning of the trouble that comes from befriending Iraqis—“these people” (194)—and Wolf saying they were “here to help these people and instead we’re killing them” (194). Now, Matt realizes “they were both right” (194). Matt tells McNally what happened to Wolf wasn’t his fault, and the sergeant responds that what happened in the alley wasn’t Matt’s fault either.

Later that day, Matt accompanies McNally on a supply run. Even though they’re in a peaceful part of town, all Matt can see is “threats” (196). Waiting outside while McNally grabs supplies, Matt watches young children leaving a school across the street and playing outside. One of the kids kicks a soccer ball into a road, and the children gesture for Matt to grab the ball before an oncoming bus runs over it, but he “couldn’t seem to move” (198). The kids are all “screaming” except one—smaller than the others, with two braids “tied with yellow ribbons” (198)—who sticks her arm through the fence to give him a thumbs-up. Matt knows that the other children see “just another American soldier” (198); but the little girl seems “to be saying I see you” (199). Spurred on by her gesture, Matt runs into the street and kicks the ball toward the children, watching as “it sailed into the crayon-blue sky” (199).