Razorblade Tears

“Tears ran from his eyes and stung his cheeks. Tears for his son. Tears for his wife. Tears for the little girl they had to raise. Tears for who they were and what they all had lost. Each drop felt like it was slicing his face open like a razorblade.”

When Ike cries at the beginning of the novel, the tears are painful and cutting. He has never allowed himself to cry for his son, and now that he is, he grieves his failings as a father. When Ike cries at the end of the novel, the tears have a cleansing property, like rain. There is something hopeful in his tears, like the relief that a penitent might feel. Cosby uses a simile, where something is compared to something else with “like” or “as.” In this case, he compares the raindrops to a razorblade. He also uses repetition. Beginning multiple sentences with “Tears” creates a sense of emphasis, an accumulating sense of loss.

“Life sends us down some strange roads on our way to our destiny.”

The idea of destiny—or of fated outcomes—comes up multiple times during the novel. Buddy Lee is bemused by the fact that their sons grew up 20 minutes away but didn’t meet until they went to the same college. The novel can be viewed as a series of highly improbable connections and coincidences that result in tragedy, joy, and growth.

“He wasn’t afraid to spill blood. He was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to stop.”

When Ike contemplates seeking revenge for Isiah’s death, he knows that he is willing to do whatever it might take, including murder. He is not squeamish. Rather, his anxiety arises from the fact that he might reacquire the taste for the violence which he has kept dormant, and that he will lose the new identity he has forged for himself. Cosby again uses repetition by beginning each sentence with “He.” The short sentences slow the rhythm and draw attention to this moment.

“It didn’t seem fair for a man to mourn someone, abundantly, that he had loved, so miserly.”

Ike wonders if he has any right to grieve for Isiah. It feels unjust to mourn so intensely after having not appreciated Isiah when he was alive. Part of the bitterness of Ike’s grief is his realization that he could have done much more. 

“Green don’t matter if it’s in a Black hand.”

Ike and Buddy Lee talk about racism. Buddy Lee believes that money blurs the line between race, even among racists. Ike disagrees. He says that there are people who would never think more of him, regardless of how much money he had to spend on their product. He says that the color of his skin will be the determining factor in how many people assess his worth, no matter what he does.

“Chopping up your first body is disgusting. Your second is tiresome. When you’re doing your fifteenth, it’s all muscle memory.”

Ike’s mental dialogue during the disposal of Andy’s body illustrates how, with repetition, violence becomes ordinary and banal. Ike has become so desensitized that dismembering a body is little more than a tedious chore.

“This is who I am. I can’t change. I don’t want to, really. But for once I’m gonna put this devil inside me to good use.”

Buddy Lee gives in to his nature. Dying of cancer, he is through pretending that he is going to become a good man. Rather, he wants to use what he considers the worst part of him for a good cause: justice.

“That was the thing about violence. When you went looking for it, you definitely were going to find it. It just wouldn’t be at a time of your own choosing.”

Ike and Buddy Lee both have cynical outlooks on humanity and violence. Violence cannot be banished but can only be kept at bay. It is always waiting nearby for someone to exercise it. Whenever two people are together, violence is a possibility.

“Men might walk on two legs but they were the most vicious animals of all. Especially when they thought they had a numbers advantage.” 

Ike contemplates the dangers they’ll face from the Rare Breed. He knows that he can’t show weakness, or the gang will pounce on him like a pack of animals. He cuts Grayson with the knife to show that he has no fear of their leader. Cosby shows that people can be redeemed and have a second chance, but he also doesn’t shy from portraying humanity’s dark side.

“Over the last few months death had carved a valley between them as deep as grief and as wide as heartbreak.”

Isiah’s death puts a strain on Ike’s marriage to Mya. They have difficulty connecting because grief consumes them. Once Ike tells her that he and Buddy are working on the investigation themselves, she is glad. The prospect of forward motion allows them to start comforting each other again.

“It was the rage coursing through his veins. A poison that killed off certain parts of yourself. The parts that made you weak. It was coursing through Ike’s veins, too. It was powerful, but deadly. It made you determined but reckless. It gave you an edge that could turn against you and slit your own throat.”

Ike knows that rage is a weapon that can be useful, but it can also lead to self-destruction. He fears that he won’t be able to stop himself from hurting people if he allows himself to start again. When he sees the same feeling in Buddy Lee’s eyes, Ike thinks of rage with tangible and human qualities.

“Like Dr. King said: An injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

Tex tells Ike that he is acting contrary to the words of Dr. King, even though he is the one complaining about racism. Ironically, Ike is paranoid about being in a bar with gay men, even though he is there investigating what may have been an anti-gay hate crime.

“He had the self-assurance of most mediocre men. They told themselves the world was their oyster but never realized their oyster had turned rancid a long time ago.”

Ike’s neighbor Randy demands to know what is happening with Ike and Buddy Lee. Unlike them, he has never experienced real hardship, and acts as their foil. Randy overestimates his abilities because no one has ever taught him how vulnerable he is.

“Ike thought one of the worst things you could give a man was a clipboard. He’d been at the mercy of men with clipboards. They could keep you out of a gated community or put you on a bus to prison. Give a man a clipboard and watch his true nature come out.”

Ike’s fixation on men with clipboards illustrates his intolerance of people who abuse their power. Someone with a clipboard is someone who takes an account of others’ behavior. These lines illustrate Ike’s grim view of humanity.

“Ike didn’t want to be king. A king never sleeps. He ends up like Slice. Staring at everyone and anticipating how they might try to come for his crown.”

Ike does not want power. Once he gets out of prison, he wants to be left alone. In his world, securing and maintaining power requires vigilance bordering on paranoia. Men like Slice have no peace. Prison taught Ike that paranoia is exhausting and that people who desire power will never stop chasing it.

“It’s easier to keep your head in the sand than it is to try and see things from somebody else’s point of view. There’s a reason why they say ignorance is bliss.”

Ike grudgingly accepts that some of Buddy Lee’s racism is a product of the people who raised him. It would have taken effort for Buddy Lee to act differently and challenge the views of his authority figures. It is easier to remain ignorant, just as Ike was in his anti-gay bias.

“What’s normal ain’t up to me. That it don’t fucking matter who he wanted to wake up next to as long as he was waking up.”

Buddy Lee talks to Christine. He wishes that he could have seen as clearly during Derek’s life as he can now. It is incomprehensible to him that he ever could have cared who Derek loved enough to shame him for it. Now that he realizes his mistakes it is too late to correct them. The idea that “normal” is as clear-cut as he had thought is now naive to him. These lines illustrate Buddy Lee’s growth.

“You love a person enough and you’ll make excuses for almost anything.”

Buddy Lee doesn’t understand why Tangerine believes Gerald loves her. Ike knows that it is because she loves Gerald, which is why she’ll excuse his behavior and justify his misdeeds. She cannot believe that Gerald could be involved in anything that would endanger her.

“A man once told me we can’t change the past but we can decide what happens next.”

Ike talks with Tangerine. He is taking ownership of his future actions and wants her to do the same. He knows that regret can be a necessary part of growth, but that regret can also stop them from doing what they need to do if they let it paralyze them.

“If this has taught me one thing, it’s that it ain’t about me and what I get. It’s about letting people be who they are. And being who you are shouldn’t be a goddamn death sentence.”

As he speaks with Tangerine, Ike shows that his perspective is changing. He wishes that he had let Isiah live however Isiah wished, and that he had cared more about his son’s happiness than his own discomfort. Tangerine’s life is also in danger because of who she is, and Ike shows growth in trying to protect her.

“When the people you love are gone, it’s the things they’ve touched that keep them alive in your mind.”

Ike and Buddy never showed enough love to their sons while they were living. Now, they cling to their possessions, poor substitutes for the real things. Buddy’s attachment to his father’s knife is similar. This is also why Mya was so desperate to return to her allegedly burning house, even though she knew it might be a trap. Isiah and Derek have also touched more abstract things, like love. Getting rid of their bigotry and intolerance is another way for Ike and Buddy Lee to connect with their sons.

“Anything could be a weapon if you were dedicated enough. Even love. Especially love.”

Buddy Lee contemplates the sawed-off baseball bat he refers to as a peacemaker. He knows that only this level of rage could induce him to perform the violence necessary to avenge Derek. For Buddy, violence is an act of love, because the loss of Derek was the ultimate loss of love. Again, Cosby uses repetition to drive home his point, echoing and emphasizing “love.”

“Folks like to talk about revenge like it’s a righteous thing but it’s just hate in a nicer suit.”

Ike tells Tangerine that there is little difference between revenge and hate. He believes that the so-called nobility associated with revenge is imaginary and naïve. Violence is a product of hatred; it is foolish to give revenge greater respectability than other forms of violence.