58 pages • 1-hour read
K. A. HoltA modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of anti-gay bias and emotional abuse.
Note: These pages include the poems “Tam: You’ve been busy, huh,” “Kate: I’m right here,” “Tam: I’m right here,” “Tam: She wears her cheerleader camouflage,” “Tam: “Tam doesn’t understand,” “Tam: What is she doing over there,” “Kate: “Like she’s fooling anyone,” “Tam: When the idea hits,” “Kate: WHAT,” “Alex, Alyx, Alexx: Is this the end,” “Tam: Meercat sits on my jeans,” “Tam: It’s like she pulled me closer,” “Tam: “I’ve known Frankie,” “Tam: Thank you,” and “Tam: Baby, what’s wrong.”
At school, Tam and Kate stop talking. Tam is skeptical that Kate’s been busy. Convinced that Tam doesn’t understand, Kate throws herself into her presidential campaign. Tam is tired of seeing Kate’s face around school on her campaign posters and decides to run against her. Kate is furious when she sees Tam’s posters in the halls. She tells herself that Tam knows nothing about running for president. Meanwhile, the girls’ classmates notice their fight and wonder if their story is over.
At Frankie’s after school, Tam opens up about her conflict with Kate. Frankie listens and then tells Tam her own story. When she was young, she married a man and had four children. She maintained this life, convinced that this is who she was supposed to be. She didn’t know how to tell her family that she was someone different. She felt like a balloon trying to twist into the wrong shape until one day, she burst and came out with the truth. People weren’t happy to hear that she was gay. In retrospect, she isn’t sure she’d make different choices, but she urges Tam to be patient with Kate. Tam is moved by Frankie’s story and thanks her for sharing. Afterward, she heads home to see her mom, who immediately notices she’s upset. Instead of telling her what happened, Tam “just let[s] Mom hug [her]” (332).
Note: These pages include the poems “Alex, Alyx, Alexx: What happens now,” “Kate: Every day,” “Tam: I don’t love space,” “Kate: What will I do when I’m president,” “Tam: A speech: huh,” “Tam: Out of Nowhere,” “Kate: They’re calling me down to the office,” “Kate: The vice principal starts talking,” “Tam: His voice is squeaky,” “Alex, Alyx, Alexx: It was just a,” “Kate: I got to hide,” “Tam: “I feel like,” “Kate: Tam sits next to me,” “Tam: I look out over the whole gym,” “Kate: That Tam,” “Tam: Maybe it was mean,” “Kate: Seriously,” “Tam: I might have hit my,” “Kate: If I have to hear,” “Kate: Can you come get me,” “Tam: I hate this feeling,” “Alex, Alyx, Alexx: Well this is fun,” “Kate: The first one was easy,” “Kate: I don’t get in trouble,” “Tam: I should be mad,” and “Kate: Mom isn’t talking.”
Over the following days, Kate starts to miss Tam and wonders why she’s campaigning for president. Tam also feels sad without Kate, but she doesn’t know what to do. Meanwhile, the girls each prepare speeches for their campaign. Suddenly, Kate gets called to the principal’s office. Kate is shocked to hear her name, afraid she’s in trouble. In the office, she learns that Levi is the fake mascot, and the principal is forcing him to apologize to Kate. Tam is shocked when she hears the news.
All the middle school students watch Tam and Kate’s tense interaction outside the office. They wonder what will happen next. A furious Kate storms off; Levi was stealing her thunder on the field, and now, Tam is trying to take the presidency from her. Tam feels guilty on Levi’s behalf and approaches Kate from behind, hoping to make amends. Then she overhears Kate telling her friends that Tam “doesn’t know anything / at all / about being president” (346). Upset, Tam decides to fight hard to beat Kate in the campaign.
In the gym, Tam gives her speech first. She promises her classmates free sodas, free concert tickets, and no tests on Fridays. Then she adds that anyone who wants one can get a free cheerleader to follow them around doing their bidding. A furious Kate is flustered when she gives her speech. Upset afterward, Kate calls Jill to pick her up, but Jill doesn’t want to take her out of school again. While Tam is making the decision to drop out of the race, Kate is tearing down Tam’s posters. She gets called back to the office, where the principal demands that she drop out of the race and go home early. Tam feels guilty for hurting Kate when she learns what happened.
In the car on the way home, Kate’s mom shakes her head in disappointment. She says she’d take away the concert tickets if they were refundable.
Note: These pages include the poems “Tam: Maybe I should say I’m sorry,” “Kate: Can I come in,” “Tam: The front door opens,” “Kate: In the doorway,” “Tam: Why am I here again,” “Tam: The floors are finished,” “Kate: She’s here,” “Tam: The squad’s MisDirection shirts,” “Kate: Presents, “Tam: Okay,” “Kate: Sharp light,” “Tam: I can’t be here anymore,” “Tam: These boys,” “Kate: The gasp is loud,” “These words shoot from her mouth,” “Kate: What’s wrong with being perfect,” “Tam: You said everyone,” “Kate: My MisDirection poster,” “Tam: I can tell when you’re happy,” “Kate: I disappear, too,” “Kate: On the couch at home,” “Tam: I just,” “Kate: Do you think you are,” and “Tam: Since it appears I have.”
On Kate’s birthday, Jill knocks on her door and urges her to get ready for the concert. Kate is too upset to move. Jill gives her a hug, reminding her that it is okay to be queer.
Later, after the squad arrives, Tam shows up unannounced at Kate’s door, confronting her for removing her posters. A defensive Kate accuses Tam of intentionally trying to hurt Kate with her speech. Eager to make amends, Tam apologizes, and Kate invites her in. Tam regrets joining the party as soon as she sees Kate’s mom and friends. The longer she stays, the more uncomfortable she feels. On her way out, she stops by a life-size cutout of one of the MisDirection band members and flicks him in the face. Then she and Kate get into a confrontation. Tam insists that Kate is too afraid to be herself, and she is hurt that Kate only pretended to like her. Tam accuses Kate of just trying to be perfect, which Kate insists is who she is and what she wants. Tam is sorry that Kate can’t chase what makes her happy.
After Tam leaves, all of Kate’s friends stare in shocked silence. Kate knows that Tam is right but is still afraid to admit her feelings. At the concert, she keeps replaying their argument in her head. Sick with anxiety, she throws up and calls her mom to pick her up. Back at home, her mom comforts her. Kate tells her she is queer again. Her mom isn’t ready to listen, but Kate assures her this is who she is. Meanwhile, Tam talks to her mom about what happened with Kate. Her mom reminds her how many people care about her.
Kate eventually talks to Becca about everything that’s been going on. Becca is kind and urges her to talk to Tam about how she really feels. Afterward, Kate feels surprised she was able to express her feelings.
Feeling lonely, Tam wanders over to Levi’s house. They discuss what happened with the mascot, and Levi apologizes, inviting Tam in to play video games.
Note: These pages include the poems “Alex, Alyx, Alexx: What do we have here,” “Kate: I admit,” “Tam: I want to see her,” “Kate: Lunch,” “Tam: Lunch,” and “Kate: The squad talks about the show.”
Back at school, Kate and Tam both want to see each other, but Kate ends up sitting with the squad at lunch. She struggles to focus on their conversation. Then Becca pulls out her camera and takes a photo for the yearbook, as she’s been doing all year. Kate borrows her camera and scrolls through the images, surprised by a photo Becca took of her and Tam. She gets an idea and leaves the cafeteria with Becca’s camera.
Note: These pages include the poems “Kate: There’s an explosion of white foam,” “Tam: What do you want,” “Kate: To see you,” “Kate: I’m estimating,” “Tam: One hundred and fifty percent,” “Tam: Very interesting,” “Kate: That’s all you have to say,” “Tam: [shrug],” “Kate: Also,” “Tam: You made me a phone,” “Kate: She tacks the poster of us,” “Kate: We walk back to my house,” “Tam: Hours go by,” “Tam: She’s my winning point,” “Kate: She’s my cheering crowd,” “Tam: Over there,” “Kate: This girl today,” “Tam: “The little cheerleader,” “Kate: My name is Kate,” and “Alex, Alyx, Alexx: So there you have it.”
The narrative shifts back to the present.
Kate lights her MisDirection poster on fire and films it. Her mom enters and demands to know what’s going on, spraying it with the fire extinguisher. Kate races out of the house and heads to Tam’s.
Kate shows up at Tam’s unannounced, and they make amends. She shows Kate the video of herself burning the MisDirection poster and then gives her a poster-sized printout of the picture of them together. They go upstairs and hang it on Tam’s wall. Afterward, they head over to Kate’s, holding pinkies along the way. In Kate’s room, Kate hangs an empty picture frame around the scorch mark on the wall. They talk for hours about family, friends, and school. Finally, they decide to be together, wondering what they should call their relationship. They each compare each other to things they love and that make them happy. They decide to start the year over, pretending they are meeting for the first time on the first day of school. They reenact their meeting, immediately feeling as if they’ve known each other for years.
In the final pages of the novel, Kate’s ongoing attempts to deny who she really is begin to fail her. Her portions of this excerpt further the theme of Striving for Perfection Due to Parental and Social Expectations, showing how altering one’s identity to meet someone else’s expectations only leads to unhappiness. Throughout the novel, Kate has developed feelings for Tam but remains terrified of admitting that she is gay; she believes that claiming her queer identity will mean letting her friends and family down and losing her support network. What she fails to realize is that pretending to be someone she’s not in order to make others happy only worsens her own unhappiness and isolation.
The narrative uses Frankie’s first-person account to provide insight into Kate’s experience, expanding the novel’s explorations of how familial and social expectations can limit personal freedom. When Tam takes her frustrations over Kate’s constant need to be perfect to Frankie, Frankie tells her about her own similar experience, and how long it took her “to admit / to [herself] / [her] true identity” (327). Frankie then uses a metaphor to convey the intense pressure she felt to meet her family’s expectations over following her heart:
Imagine carefully twisting / a balloon / into just the right shape, / like at a birthday party, / but the shape isn’t perfect, / so you twist it again, / you try a new shape, / but it still doesn’t quite work, / so again / and again / you twist / and contort / until the balloon… / it just can’t twist anymore, / and it pops / right in your face. / Bam. (328-27)
The balloon metaphor offers Tam a visual representation of Kate’s experience. The image of the balloon twisting until it pops reifies Kate’s habit of contorting herself into various shapes to meet others’ expectations. She perpetually tries to twist herself into new shapes because her mom, her squad, her coach, her sister, and her new friend all want her to be someone different. She can’t satisfy all of their expectations and make everyone happy because none of their ideas about her exactly align with who she really is and what she really wants.
Kate and Tam’s confrontation at the MisDirection party augments the narrative tension in anticipation of the climax. The girls must have this verbal confrontation to push Kate toward confronting herself and completing her independent Journey Toward Claiming Queer Identity, a primary narrative theme. After their argument, Kate hears Tam’s voice in her head saying, “I can’t tell you if you’re gay, okay” (383). Tam’s words challenge Kate to make sense of who she is independent of others. Kate has tiptoed around this essential aspect of her coming-of-age journey due to her fear of disappointing others. Like Frankie, she ultimately “bursts” and can no longer hide her true identity; the narrative represents this metaphoric “bursting” as Kate throwing up at the MisDirection concert. In the wake of this climactic moment, Kate opens up to her mother and her friends from the squad about who she really is and what she really wants. These scenes of dialogue convey Kate’s newfound confidence in her identity and illustrate her desire to embrace her truest self, no matter how others respond.
The closing images of the burning MisDirection poster, the new poster of Kate and Tam, and the framed scorch mark on the wall convey notions of endings and beginnings. Kate lights her boy band poster on fire to symbolize that she is moving on from this era of her life. She is tired of pretending to be someone she isn’t. She then hangs the frame around the scorch mark to commemorate the feelings surrounding her own transformation. The scorch mark is an important signifier of her metamorphosis. The poster of her and Tam imagistically replaces the poster of MisDirection, showing how their connection is a truer representation of Kate’s heart.



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