Adams identifies what he regards as four distinct operating systems: Selfishness, vengeance, victimhood, and reciprocity. He warns that the first three only generate negativity, while the last will feel better and produce positive outcomes in your life. While being kind and generous does not immediately pay off, Adams is confident that, statistically, some of those people will reciprocate and he will benefit from that.

Another reframe is to consider reality a simulation. True or not, believing that one is a simulated being or character in a game may motivate you to feel more empowered over your choices and feel determined to do what feels like “winning” to you. This can also help people overcome the frustration that they remember things differently than others. By reframing events as different “subjective realities” for everyone, people can stop obsessing about uncovering truth and accept that people experience the world differently. Adams builds on this idea by arguing that all of reality is subjective and that people must do everything in their power to “author” their life experience. He recommends visualizing and using affirmations to motivate oneself towards success.

Adams reflects on different “buttons” on the human “interface.” He argues that freedom is often the most important thing for people, and you can “push” this button by offering freedom to employees, family members, and yourself. The next “button” is fear, which Adams characterizes as the anti-motivator. He coaches the reader to be wary of those who use fear as a tool of manipulation. Novelty, repetition, simplicity, and reasons (real and imagined) are all innately compelling for people. You can easily lead others by imitating them and creating aspirations for them to achieve. 

Another “button” is comparison. People tend to compare things to imaginary ideals, but Adams argues that they should focus on realistic comparisons to make the best choices. The author attributes much of human decision-making to following patterns, instinctively protecting their chosen team, and making associations. He concludes this chapter by imploring the reader to use their knowledge about human decision-making to protect themselves from manipulation while becoming more persuasive to others.

In this chapter the author veers away from specific reframes as he engages in armchair psychology. By coaching the reader to use people’s irrationality and other “buttons” for persuasion—while protecting themselves from being persuaded by others—the author showcases psychology as a tool for imposing one’s will onto others. He writes, “Instead, reframe life as a dashboard of persuasion buttons you can push as needed to persuade others—and to train your own brain to author your reality” (207). This approach seems somewhat manipulative, but is softened by his recommendation to value reciprocity as a general approach to life and relationships.

While some of his insights are intriguing, Adams’s lack of professional training in psychology and absence of academic studies make this section less convincing. Moreover, his argument that people value freedom above everything else contradicts his previous claim that humans prize money the most. He writes, “If you want to understand why people do the things they do or you want to influence them, don’t forget this often-neglected dimension of the human psyche. Humans will often take freedom over money, even over love” (200). This claim makes Adams’s work less consistent overall, and also raises questions over his blanket assumptions about how humans behave, as humans are not a monolith and may have different motivations and values from Adams’s own.

Chapter Lessons

• People operate differently depending on their personality and experiences
• Practicing reciprocity pays off over time
• Reframe life as a game or simulation if it helps to clarify goals and motivate you
• Be aware of others pressing your irrational “buttons” to persuade you

Reflection Questions

• Consider Adams’s four “operating systems.” Which one feels the most familiar or motivating to you? Is it working well? Why or why not? What other “operating systems” might exist that Adams overlooks?
• The author blames human irrationality for our ability to be easily persuaded. Consider who is currently trying to persuade you of something. What are their motivations, tools, and tactics?
• How might you use this knowledge to help others see things the way you do? Consider the ethical implications of doing so.