“Usual Frame: Alcohol is a beverage. Reframe: Alcohol is poison. Some readers of that book lost all interest in alcohol and quit drinking forever because they read those three words ‘alcohol is poison.’ Really.”

Adams shows how reframes use impactful language to change people’s perspectives forever. Instead of viewing alcohol as a normal indulgence or temptation, reframing it as poison was effective enough for some to cut it out of their lives. This passage encourages the reader to think about how they might relabel habits in their own lives to change their perspectives.

“What does it take to rewire a brain? Not much. You only need three things, and one of them is optional: Focus Repetition Emotion (fear, happiness, hate, love, passion, etc.) You can rewire brains fastest with an emotional turbocharge, but focusing on and repeating a reframe without emotion will also get you where you want to go eventually.”

The author coaches the reader to change their brains’ patterns by focusing on their reframe, repeating it to themselves, and imbuing it with emotion. This passage builds on the author’s explanation of neuroplasticity by suggesting that everyone has the capacity to change their thoughts and, therefore, their behaviors.

“So I write in the morning when writing is easy, and I draw in the evenings when drawing is easy. That’s managing energy, not time. Usual Frame: Manage your time. Reframe: Manage your energy. In my experience, the energy I have for a task is more important to the outcome than the amount of time I have allocated to do it.”

Adams takes the usual approach to time management and turns it on its head, reframing it as controlling one’s energy instead. This approach shows how Adams used his personal experiences around work and productivity to create a new and improved regimen for himself.

“Usual Frame: Embarrassment is something to be avoided. Reframe: Embarrassment is an investment. In the short run, embarrassment can sting. In the long run, you will be tougher for the experience, and you might have a funny story to tell. You almost always come out ahead when you take a hard shot to your ego and survive to play again.”

The author’s fresh take on dealing with failure and humiliation encourages the reader to build resilience by embracing embarrassing situations as either silly stories or learning experiences. This quotation shows how simple reframes can decrease shame while encouraging forward-looking, constructive thoughts.

“A big downside of long-term goals without systems is that every day you do not meet the goal, you are in a mental state of something like failure. But when you have a system, you can feel success every day. For example, if your system involves exercising daily, you are successful if all you did was take a walk. But if your goal is to lose twenty pounds, you will feel like less than a winner every day until you reach the goal.”

Adams coaches the reader to reframe their goals, instead creating everyday systems which support long-term success. While the end result is the same, the advantage of the system reframe is that people can feel satisfied and successful every day, keeping up their motivation and self-belief, rather than laboring towards a distant goal. This reframe shows that you can keep the same valuable goals and simply reframe how you are achieving them.

“Tell yourself your burdens are puzzles to solve—see if that changes how you feel. Remember, not all reframes work for all people. I wouldn’t have imagined this one working for me if I hadn’t tried it so many times with success.”

Adams believes that reimagining your personal problems as puzzles puts you in a more proactive and positive state of mind. This advice adds to the author’s emphasis on avoiding a mindset of helplessness or blame, using your personal agency to improve yourself and your life in whatever way possible.

“Usual Frame: Do what you are told. Reframe: Do what you are NOT told but maybe someone should have. When you take initiative in front of others, they will trust you are the kind of person who takes care of business when no one is watching. Everyone wants to hire that person.”

Adams suggests using reframes to challenge yourself in the workplace. This advice pushes the reader to think beyond their job description and become more driven and inventive in how they do their job. This example shows how reframes can improve on typical advice and push people to another level of achievement.

“Focus on what you have learned already and how quickly you learned it. As you watch the imaginary pile of ‘what you learned’ grow in your mind, your confidence will come back online. Usual Frame: You feel like a fraud. Everyone else is competent. Reframe: You are learning fast. Look at all you learned!”

Adams addresses the common issue of imposter syndrome in the workplace. This reframe helps people adopt more of a growth mindset, focusing them on the progress they have already made rather than ruminating on their feelings of incompetence or being a fish out of water.

“The best way to talk yourself out of feeling judged by others is to stop judging others. Lose that frame. When you judge others on a subjective scale of goodness and badness, you are buying into your own destruction.”

Adams connects judgment of others with self-judgment. This argument challenges the reader to consider how criticizing others is connected with our own ideals for ourselves, too. Adams’s advice encourages the reader to reframe judgment as a mental bad habit which is detrimental to your self-esteem and peace of mind.

“Usual Frame: Art is entertainment. Reframe: Art is a powerful, mind-altering drug. I recommend removing from your life all art that makes you sad or anxious, even if it redeems itself with some sort of happy ending. Find art that moves you without the bad parts. There is plenty of it.”

In his mental health advice Adams urges the reader to avoid music, movies, and other art forms that encourage negative feelings. By describing art as a “mind-altering drug” the author’s reframe invites the reader to consider how these things affect their mood and view of the world. This reframe shows the wide-ranging possibilities for this strategy, although it also ignores the longstanding tradition of art that deals with difficult issues being a form of catharsis for many individuals.

“The first reframe involves asking yourself if you are feeling bad about the deceased or yourself. It probably isn’t entirely clear in your mind. Usual Frame: Death is a tragedy, and I need to feel bad about it. Reframe: The deceased has no more problems. How did I make this about me?”

Adams’s applies his tough-love approach to grief. This reframe shifts your focus from your own feelings to your loved one, providing a different perspective on your suffering.

“I like to convert my negative energy into muscles. I can run farther and lift heavier in an angry mood than a good one. And once that energy is turned into muscle, I can go home relaxed. Usual Frame: Hate and anger are toxic feelings you hope will wear off. Reframe: Hate and anger are a superpower level of energy you can use for gain.”

While Adams usually uses reframes to soften feelings of anger or hatred, he chooses to sometimes embrace them when he can channel them into something constructive. This reframe shows that you do not have to resolve every negative feeling with reframes, but can try to handle them more constructively.

“Usual Frame: Your ego is ‘you,’ and it must be protected. Reframe: Your ego is your enemy. The reframe tells you what to do: Kill your ego.”

Adams separates his real self from his ego in order to embrace challenges, failures, and even embarrassments. He believes this reframe helps the reader adopt a more open and bold state of mind instead of a timid, protectionist one.

“Usual Frame: I worry something will go wrong. Reframe: I’m curious what will happen. If you succeed in switching your thoughts from your past to your imaginary future, you run the risk of generating anxiety about how things might turn out in your future.”

Adams coaches the reader to embrace curiosity as an antidote to anxiety. While it is natural to think about the future, Adams’s reframe ensures that people will focus on the different interesting possibilities rather than imagine the worst outcomes and feel stressed about them.

“Toxic people never run out of current problems. Usual Frame: This person has a strong personality. I must become stronger to deal with it as an equal. Reframe: This person is toxic. I must escape now. The universe is very old. In all that time, no one has ever expelled a toxic person from their life and regretted it.”

Adams offers blunt advice about dealing with “toxic” people. This reframe urges the reader to act decisively and not try to change themselves in order to resolve the other person’s problem. This advice is a departure from Adams’s typical perspectives on self-improvement and empowers the reader to decide who fits their definition of “toxic” and how to cut them out of their lives.

“Realistically, time is the only healer, but you might be able to handle the recovery better with some useful reframes. Usual Frame: I want my relationship to last forever. Reframe: Nothing lasts forever. Best case scenario, you spend your lives together until one of you watches the other die of age-related problems. Life is not designed to give you a happy ending. And nothing lasts forever.”

Adams’s frank assessment of relationships ending helps to put break-ups in perspective. This reframe is meant to ease the pain of a breakup by highlighting realistic outcomes in relationships. The author’s plain-spoken approach makes this reframe particularly memorable.

“Eventually, I realized that when I was relaxed and happy, I turned others into a version of me. They would smile more, engage more, and generally enjoy the encounter.”

Adams reflects on his realization that people often treat him differently depending on his demeanor. This context helps the reader understand his reframe about turning others into the version of themselves that you would like them to be. This passage continues Adams’s emphasis on managing your own behavior to influence your greater reality and relationships.

“Usual Frame: Most people are normal, but I’m a basket case. Reframe: Everyone is a basket case once you get to know them. Basket Case Theory has a lot of utility. It keeps you from getting too starry-eyed about a new relationship until you see what horrors are in the basket. You start to develop realistic expectations of other people, which can prevent disappointment. It also gives you permission to be one of the basket cases yourself since the whole idea is that no one is exempt.”

Adams’s blunt assessment of humanity is designed to prevent mindless infatuation, fantasizing, and disappointment. This funny reframe is different from his other examples as it is more negative, but at its core is still constructive and potentially helpful for people with a tendency to idealize others.

“If you don’t like the decisions you make, turn yourself into the kind of person who doesn’t make those mistakes. You will be amazed how much this helps. Here’s a specific example. Usual Frame: I am tempted by bad carbs. Reframe: I’m not the kind of person who eats bad carbs.”

Adams argues that centering your reframes around your sense of identity will help make them more impactful. This quotation showcases how reframes are meant to permanently change your perspective and even your sense of self, when necessary.

“If the reframes in this chapter do a better job of predicting the future than your current filter on reality, consider making these your default beliefs. If your existing worldview predicts better, keep that. Our tiny human brains probably can’t know the full nature of reality, but sometimes we can tell what works and what does not.”

Adams is not prescriptive in his advice on interpreting reality; instead, he makes accurate predictions the goal of any reframe. This assessment imbues Adams’s guidance with humility and recognizes the large role that emotion and bias play in people’s understanding of reality.

“I call that two movies playing on one screen. The power of this reframe is that it releases you from any obligation to make others bend to your way of thinking. Others are often aware of the same events and facts as you, but while they’re looking at the same screen at the same time, they see a different movie based on their biases and expectations.”

Adams uses a movie analogy to explain why people see the world so differently and adopt different religious and political beliefs. This passage suggests that reframes can help people accept their differences with others by understanding that they will never see the same “movie” as the other person.

“Perhaps the main benefit of this reframe is that you neutralize the frustration when dealing with people on the other side of issues. Once you realize they’re not the sources of their own opinions—and probably can’t explain their own opinions with any clarity—you’re free to see them as victims, not opponents. I don’t get stressed when a victim of brainwashing disagrees with me. I feel bad for them.”

Adams suggests that reframes can help people become less upset and judgmental of their political opponents. By attributing their opinions to media messaging, Adams believes that people’s judgment will soften and turn into pity. This quotation reminds the reader that reframes do not have to be literally true, but exist to make you feel better or behave more constructively.

“Usual Frame: You are the product of your experiences and genes. Reframe: You are the author of your experience. This reframe moves you out of victim mode into player mode.”

Adams urges the reader to take responsibility for their life experiences and use their own agency to better their life. Instead of dwelling on the past or their genetics, Adams believes that reframing yourself as an “author” of your life will encourage a more active, open, and determined mindset. This passage demonstrates how reframes intentionally strip nuance away in order to foster a certain perspective.