49 pages • 1-hour read
Reviving Ophelia
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Themes
How Culture Shapes the Individual
Western culture subscribes to many societal norms that harm the development and mental health of adolescent girls. Through media, schools, peer pressure, and sometimes even family pressure, girls are taught to behave in ways that are contradictory to their wellbeing. Gender norms prescript the ideals of beauty, submissiveness, and pleasantness onto girls, who often resort to extreme means to meet these expectations. Girls react to this pressure in a host of ways, some of which are positive and some detrimental. Girls who become obsessed with their appearance may develop anorexia or bulimia. Girls who cannot accept that they do not fit the mold often cope by using self-harm. Pipher sees this reaction “as a concrete interpretation of our culture’s injunction to young women to carve themselves into culturally acceptable pieces” (361). Girls may even allow themselves to be the victims of sexual assault as many falsely believe that they deserve it or they do not have a right to object. What this all means for girls is that they will often focus on their appearance or their appeal to boys and lose sight of their talents, skills, and potential. Girls are shaped by the culture they live in. Western culture from the time Pipher was a teenager in the 1960s until now has been poisonous toward girls. The culture girls live in has lasting and varied effects on their self-image, their mental and physical health, and their views of the world.
Cultural expectations also affect girls in other ways. Particularly in the 1990s, teenagers were constantly pressured to consume drugs and alcohol or to engage in sex. Pipher cites Sara’s generation as the one that “negotiated the transition from a local culture to a global one” (10). Compared with Pipher’s era, girls “were coming of age in a more dangerous, sexualized, and media-saturated world” (6). These trends have reduced since then, as more teens are staying home and relying on the internet for socialization. However, it is still a major problem and many girls do not feel safe on their own campuses or neighborhood streets. Influences to engage in sex and experiment with substances come mainly from peers and the media. The media is an ever-increasing influence on girls’ lives, and girls spend more time-consuming media now than ever. The messages they receive shape their outlook and ideas. Pipher asserts that it is normal for girls to experiment with both substances and sex, but this experimentation often takes a dark turn when it is either to numb or cope with pain or when it is solely for social acceptance rather than personal gratification. Girls in Pipher’s focus group testify to only having sex for the boy’s sake or to taking drugs to cope with their ongoing depression and anxiety. Substance addiction is difficult to break and can carry into adulthood if girls do not receive help or learn to cope in other ways. Submitting to sex often leads girls to become the victims of sexual violence. These experiences shape the person she becomes and the way she interprets the world around her.
The True Self and the False Self
Pipher describes a loss of the true self that occurs in adolescence as girls attempt to meet societal pressures and become swept up in the challenges of youth. There are six aspects to the self, according to Pipher: the physical self, the emotional self, the thinking self, the social self with family, the social self with peers, and the spiritual self. Pipher describes a true self and a false self. The true self is the real essence of a person, the inner spirit of a girl that propels her to be creative, loving, and to live up to her potential. The false self is the fake version of themselves that girls create to become accepted by their peers and to live up to the expectations set out by mass media and other cultural mediums. Parents also set forth expectations that may hinder or help the creation of a false self in their daughters. Pipher was inspired by the work of Carl Jung when devising this theory. Jung proposed the idea of the self and explained that a person is born with a whole self, but it fractures through the experiences of early childhood, and people spend most of their youth and adult lives piecing it back together. Pipher adapts this theory to suggest that it is actually in adolescence when this split occurs. In her experience, young girls are still vibrant and full of their own personality. It is not until middle school when girls begin to lose themselves in the shuffle. Girls do not develop a false self in the same way or to the same degree; in fact, “the creation of a false self follows a continuum that ranges from basic socialization to abuse” (83).
Pipher also cites Alice Miller, who proposed that the false self becomes more solidified in a person if it is socially accepted. This theory seems to ring true for many adolescent girls. When a girl adapts herself to be thin or submissive toward sex, both girls and boys alike not only approve but encourage her. This leads her to believe that her true self is not worthwhile and causes her to sink deeper into her false self. Worse, “with the false self in charge, all validation came from outside the person” (82). When girls learn to seek all validation from external sources, they lose sight of their own inner values and self-confidence. Social media is a new force in the lives of teenage girls, which further perpetuates the idea of a false self and discourages girls from being real about who they are. Competing for likes and follows leads to a race for perfection that does not really exist and “meanwhile, the true self is buried at best or, at worst, not even developed” (96). Many girls reach adulthood still unsure of who they are or their place in the world. Pipher refers to a girl’s inner voice or true self as their “North Star” (307), explaining that if girls can find their way back to the guidance of their own self, they can learn to thrive and become who they were meant to be.
The Importance of Family in Adolescent Girls’ Development
Family has an enormous, lasting, and complex impact on the development of adolescent girls. When a family is supportive, provides healthy guidance, and models positive and respectful behaviors, adolescent girls often thrive. On the other hand, when a family is neglectful, in the midst of a challenging situation (such as economic struggles or divorce), or unable to provide proper guidance or modelling due to a lack of skill, it can be devastating for daughters. Many girls are resilient and thrive in the face of hardship, but many others become lost in it. It affects all of them. If a family is experiencing a divorce, the parents may be too emotionally or financially strained to be able to support their children. Parents may even attempt to use their daughter as leverage or to hurt the other parent. Divorce rates were at an all-time high in the 1990s, and girls were rebelling and becoming lost in drugs, alcohol, and sex. Girls need and deserve to feel safe and secure in their own home and to feel like their family is something they can rely on. Pipher notes that “in the ’90s, parents were not the primary influence on their adolescent girls” (202); instead, peers and media became the main influence. Currently, girls are spending more time at home and with family, making parents one of the most pivotal influences once again.
Mothers and fathers have different effects on their daughters. Traditionally, mothers were the more present caregivers and parents while fathers worked and disciplined. This was largely the case when Mary Pipher was growing up. By the 1990s, fathers were beginning to take a more active family role but were unsure how. The absence or presence of a father in a girl’s life was seen as an important factor regardless of the quality of that presence. By the 2010s, fathers were fully active in their daughter’s lives and taking on many of the responsibilities that were usually left to mothers. Fathers have the ability to teach their daughters how a respectful man treats women, how to value themselves in other ways besides their body, and how to live beyond common gender stereotypes. Mothers have the crucial responsibility of modelling what it is to be a woman. Girls observe their mothers and learn what adulthood might look like for them. When a mother is encouraging of her daughter’s pursuits and uniqueness, that girl is more likely to live up to her full potential. Parents have the ability to affect the entire outlook of their daughters’ lives. Families are the “root system” that gives girls a safe place to fall and a place to ask questions and be validated for being themselves (188).
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