Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything: A Memoir

Throughout Chapters 6-9, Stoner delves into their experiences working in Hollywood to explore the theme of Navigating the Dangers of Child Stardom. Although aspects of acting and performing gratified Stoner, they met constant challenges that compromised their safety and security. Their mother attempted to safeguard them “with kid-friendly experiences” (68), but her ability to do so was limited; working as a minor “in adult workplaces meant there was never a shortage of situations for Mom to monitor” (72). Thus, between the ages of nine and 12, Stoner was forced into scenarios they did not know how to navigate without guidance. Crew members “didn’t receive any preparatory training on how to work with kids” (75), which impeded Stoner’s ability to advocate for themselves. Stoner uses their experiences working on Mike’s Super Short Show (and on other sets) to convey how little protection exists for child stars in the acting industry. Parents and guardians had little power to intervene on their children’s behalf, and children like Stoner were too young to set necessary boundaries without adult support.

Stoner’s retrospective authorial voice comments on these harmful childhood experiences in Hollywood from a more mature vantage point. Thus, Stoner consistently interrupts their narrative account to reflect on what they went through, as in the following passage: “So, even though each individual shoot adhered to child labor hours, [I had no] days off […] Nonetheless, I was still a kid dealing with kid things like random growth spurts and feeling humiliated by small mistakes” (74). Here, Stoner marries wider industry commentary with personal reflection. The pairing of these micro and macro concerns conveys how much Stoner was expected to carry as a young child. While attempting to make sense of their own coming of age, they were treated like a commodity at work and forced into a world driven by the dollar. Moving between these starkly contrasting spheres endangered Stoner psychologically, emotionally, and physically. Without industry protection or a safe outlet to express themselves, they learned to silence their complaints and work harder to survive.

Stoner incorporates an increasing number of familial anecdotes into their account to heighten the contrast between their vocational and personal lives. In Hollywood, Stoner was a seasoned star and household name. They were seen as a special talent. At home, however, Stoner felt invisible—as if their father “didn’t know anything about [their] life” (80), and as if their vocational success “was driving [their family] further apart” (81). As Stoner’s family ties began to fray, they also felt increasingly insecure in themselves and in their vocational success. Work had already estranged them from their peers, including their sisters, leaving them with ever fewer contexts to understand themselves within—one of the problems of Self-Discovery Amid Hollywood Culture and Childhood Trauma. Work even estranged Stoner from their own body; they became self-critical as they entered puberty because of how the industry regarded and marketed younger children. The pressures of navigating their fame thus impeded their ability to process their familial challenges and personal life changes. Over the course of these chapters, Stoner alternates between depictions of their personal and professional spheres to illustrate the difficulty of navigating both as an inexperienced adolescent.

Nevertheless, moments of hope temper the bleak portrayal of child stardom, foreshadowing Stoner’s Journey Toward Recovery and Healing. In particular, their love of music emerges as a therapeutic force that allowed them to experience feelings they ordinarily repressed. Stoner’s discovery of Christianity is presented in more ambivalent terms. While it provided them with a refuge, the swiftness with which Stoner threw themselves into their new religion implies that their primary motivation was the desire to belong rather than spiritual feeling per se—a tension that becomes more obvious in later chapters.