Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything: A Memoir

Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything is a memoir by actor, singer, and dancer Alyson Stoner. Originally published by St. Martin’s Press in 2025, the memoir traces Stoner’s experiences working as a child actor and performer in the entertainment industry. Stoner writes from their first-person point of view and details their experiences from the age of seven through the present day. Their vulnerable renderings of their coming of age underpin the text’s themes of Navigating the Dangers of Child Stardom, Self-Discovery amid Hollywood Culture and Childhood Trauma, and the Journey Toward Recovery and Healing.

This guide refers to the 2025 St. Martin’s Press hardback edition of the memoir.

Content Warning: The source material and guide feature depictions of child abuse, child sexual abuse, addiction, substance use, disordered eating, illness, mental illness, suicidal ideation, bullying, self-harm, physical abuse, graphic violence, sexual content, rape, and antigay bias.

Summary

Stoner was born and raised in Toledo, Ohio. They grew up with their mother, LuAnne; stepfather, John; and two sisters, Correy and Jaimee. Stoner had a hard time adjusting to the change when their parents divorced but maintained a relationship with their biological father throughout their early childhood. During this same period, they cultivated their interests in sports, acting, and dance.

When Stoner was seven years old, LuAnne pushed them to compete in the International Modeling and Talent Agency’s competition in New York City. Stoner liked to sing, act, dance, and perform but was overwhelmed by this high-pressure experience. Still, they did well and placed second in the competition.

Their success earned them the attention of various Hollywood agents, so Stoner and LuAnne traveled to Los Angeles to find Stoner an agent and to launch their acting career. They hired Cindy Osbrink, and Stoner began auditioning for roles while also taking acting classes, devoting themselves to improving their craft. After six weeks, however, they still hadn’t landed a job. Just as they were about to return to Toledo, Cindy called to announce that Stoner had booked a Hallmark commercial. They ended up staying in LA as a result.

Over the following years, Stoner saw more and more success in the industry. Their big break came when they appeared in Missy Elliott’s music video for “Work It.” From there, Stoner went on to book larger roles with ABC, Disney, and Nickelodeon. Stoner was proud of themselves but also felt burdened to please the adults in their life no matter the cost. They tamped down their emotions, hid their true personality, and changed their appearance to meet industry standards.

Meanwhile, Stoner’s family life was fraying. John, Correy, and Jaimee had moved to LA, but John’s mental health deteriorated. He became increasingly volatile and violent, making for an unsafe home environment. Stoner finally called the cops on him amid a violent episode, and the family got a restraining order. Even without John’s presence at home, Stoner felt the absence of a peaceful family life and support system. When they were 10, they booked a role in the film Cheaper by the Dozen. Stoner’s on-set family proved more supportive than their real family, so they were overwhelmed by sadness when production ended. A church attended by a neighbor provided Stoner with a different way of belonging, so they threw themselves into their new Christian faith. Stoner’s religious beliefs made them attractive to various philanthropic groups, and the work Stoner began doing on behalf of these causes left them with even less time to enjoy childhood and adolescence.

As the years passed, Stoner’s mental and emotional health declined. They were so weighed down by the pressures of the industry that they developed an eating disorder. When their condition became dangerous, they finally asked for help, taking a break from Hollywood to pursue treatment at Remuda Ranch. The experience was trying but rewarding: Stoner met life-changing therapists and developed transformative coping skills, and it was hard for them to leave when their program ended. However, they worked hard to maintain their health when they returned to the outside world.

In the months and years following treatment, Stoner faced the truth of their past. They discovered that LuAnne had been stealing from them and went home to Toledo to spend time with their father, whom Stoner had reconnected with when he visited Remuda Ranch. Their father helped them better understand LuAnne and reconnect with their youthful self. When Stoner left Ohio a few weeks later, they felt ready to start a new phase of life. Throughout this time, Stoner learned more about themselves, including their attraction to women. This put them at odds with their church, which they eventually left.

Stoner pursued psychology programs and advanced their platform on social media while pursuing a relationship with a basketball league organizer named Scout. While the two eventually decided to live as friends, their time together transformed Stoner’s understanding of love and relationships. Meanwhile, they began promoting mental health awareness and accessible self-help tools, developing a new wellness platform with their sister and advocating for former and current child stars. Amid their personal growth, they were raped by a man they thought cared about their activism. In reassessing what they needed from life, Stoner decided to leave Los Angeles and move permanently to the Mojave Desert. In this new environment, they were able to see and understand themselves better.

In the Epilogue, Stoner reflects on all of the experiences that led them to become the person they are today. They reiterate the struggles of being a child star while describing the efforts they’ve made to promote industry reform. They also acknowledge that they don’t know what the future will hold for them but say that they will meet every day with hope and heart.