Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything: A Memoir

When Stoner was 10 years old, they were cast in the feature film Cheaper by the Dozen as Sarah Baker. This was a breakout role for Stoner, as it was their first feature film and offered them the chance to work with A-list actors (most notably, Steve Martin). The film did well at the box office and advanced Stoner’s burgeoning career.

However, working on Cheaper by the Dozen gave Stoner more than industry attention and acclaim. The 2003 film was “a remake of a 1950s family comedy based on a popular book from 1948” (88), which traced the story of a family with 12 children. Whereas Stoner’s parents were divorced, their stepfather was abusive, their mother had an alcohol addiction, and their relationships with their sisters were distant, the Cheaper by the Dozen family was idyllic. Stoner was thus thrilled to be a part of this adaptation because it offered them a taste of a more traditional and nurturing family life. Stoner’s description of their time on set conveys how much the experience meant to them: “From March to June, I was fully in my element: performing, wearing beanies and basketball shorts with the boys, and feeling the phenomenon of a supportive family. […] With twelve of us, there was always someone to lean on (90).” In these ways, Cheaper by the Dozen was a symbol of home, family, and belonging for Stoner. They were a part of a loving and supportive community and felt accepted and seen. This family life was a fleeting fiction, but it offered Stoner comfort while they had it.

When Stoner got an operation on their nose to correct a deviated septum, they decided to have plastic surgery on their nose, too. Their nose job was a difficult decision that ultimately altered how they saw and carried themselves. It is thus symbolic of self-empowerment and self-reclamation—part of Stoner’s Journey Toward Recovery and Healing.

Their reflections on their plastic surgery underscore the importance of this decision to Stoner’s personal growth journey:

Superficial or not, the surgery transformed my self-image and gave me confidence to go out in public and not worry about how ugly I felt. My mental story of playing second fiddle adjusted to believing that I was a true candidate for primary roles. While a part of me wished I could’ve reached this self-acceptance separately, I was grateful to be able to finally love myself, inside and out (217).

Stoner uses an honest and open voice when detailing this experience. They admit that the procedure might be seen as superficial but also hold that it was essential to their self-esteem. They made the decision for themselves, and it benefited them in multiple ways. The nose job represents how making decisions according to their own desires helped Stoner claim their beauty on their own terms.