59 pages • 1-hour read
She Didn't See It Coming
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Themes
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of murder, physical abuse, and sexual content.
The Tension between Outward Appearances and Hidden Realities
She Didn’t See It Coming develops a theme commonly found in domestic thrillers: the difference between the idyllic appearance and the grim reality of people’s relationships, especially when deep imperfections and criminal activities lurk beneath the surface. This theme is developed in a variety of ways throughout the work, but it is most evident in Sam and Bryden Frost’s marriage and Alice and Derek Gardner’s relationship.
In the opening chapters of She Didn’t See It Coming, Sam and Bryden Frost’s relationship is portrayed as ideal. They are both well-off professionals who live in a “luxury condo building […] in a good neighborhood” (15). Their friends and family are unaware of any conflict between the two of them, and “they seem perfect for each other” (25). They have a sweet young daughter and a good support network. However, as the narrative develops, Sam is revealed to have been physically abusive to Bryden, but this truth was hidden because he very carefully “never left any marks” (175). Like many women in an abusive relationship, Bryden did not share her troubles with anyone in her life. The notion that their relationship was perfect is further challenged when Sam is revealed to have been indulging in an affair with Paige, Bryden’s best friend. Far from being perfect, their relationship was built on abuse and betrayal.
Similarly, Alice and Derek Gardner are not who they appear to be at first. They take pains to portray themselves as typical, wealthy professionals. As Derek sardonically notes, he acts “as if he’s a perfectly normal man, speaking to his perfectly normal wife, at the end of a perfectly normal day” (221). Under the surface, however, they feel that they are “unhampered by the same restraints that hamper other people” (161). Jayne gets a glimpse of this dangerously ruthless mindset when she observes, “Just for a second, I felt like [Alice] dropped the façade” (272), and this moment of truth frightens her. Alice proves herself to be more dangerous than her husband; she cold-bloodedly murders her mother because “her [mother’s] timidity always annoyed [her]” (221) and she wanted the inheritance money. Derek, who is a criminal if not a murderer, willingly enables his wife’s behavior.
The final revelation of the novel—that Paige murdered Bryden—is the example par excellence of this theme. Paige is a beautiful, successful professional who has presented herself as being deeply troubled by Bryden’s murder. For instance, on the night after the murder, “she couldn’t bring herself to do anything but sit at home by herself, her arms around her knees, thinking about Bryden. Her best friend, murdered and stuffed in a suitcase” (108). The revelation that Paige is the murderer reveals her to be at least as depraved and selfish as Alice.
Betrayal in Intimate Relationships
As the title She Didn’t See It Coming implies, a core theme of the novel is betrayal in intimate relationships. The ultimate betrayal to which the title refers is Paige’s betrayal of her best friend, Bryden. Paige uses Bryden’s trust to catch her unawares and murder her. However, the theme of betrayal is also echoed in the instances of infidelity throughout the narrative. Finally, Lizzie’s decision to share details about her sister’s murder online can also be read as a form of betrayal.
Paige is Bryden’s best friend, and as Sam notes, “She’s practically family” (67). When Paige arrives unannounced at the condo unit and asks to be buzzed in, Bryden barely hesitates to do so, reflecting, “What kind of friend would she be if she turned her away?” (330). Paige takes advantage of this trust to murder Bryden. However, while this is the most egregious betrayal portrayed in the novel, it is not the only one; well before the murder, Sam and Paige both betray Bryden by carrying on an affair while Bryden is out of town. Sam even goes so far as to put the onus of this affair on Paige, rationalizing that she kissed him first and abdicating all responsibility by insisting that “he hadn’t been able to resist the easy pleasure of it” (150).
Infidelity as a form of betrayal is also found in the relationship between Alice and Derek Gardner. Prior to the events of the novel, Derek had had multiple affairs. Having caught him at it once, Alice now “worries about [Derek] straying” and frets over “the times she hadn’t caught him” (160). When Paige falsely claims that Derek was having an affair with Bryden, Alice is quick to believe the story, growing concerned that Derek is betraying her despite his protestations to the contrary. When Jayne informs them that Paige was lying, Alice “is pleasantly surprised to hear this” because “she’d thought for sure her husband had been sleeping with Bryden Frost” (329). This dynamic is illustrative of how hard it is to rebuild trust in a relationship once that trust has been broken.
Although people respond to family tragedy in a variety of ways, Lizzie’s decision to post sensitive information about her sister’s murder in a public online forum shocks and appalls her parents, who see her actions as a form of betrayal as well. Her parents are already reeling from the death of their eldest daughter, and they trust the police to conduct the investigation professionally, but Lizzie’s decision to share intimate details about the case gives rise to online to widespread speculation about her sister, her sister’s life, and the circumstances of her death. These dynamics threaten the family’s emotional well-being, especially given that some of the posts are perceived as “a bit disturbing” (242) and include victim-blaming comments like, “She got exactly what she deserved!” (243). For strangers, the case is a form of curiosity and entertainment, but for the family and friends of Bryden, it is personal. When Lizzie’s activities are revealed to her parents, Donna feels that Lizzie’s betrayal of Bryden is “vile,” and her horror suggests that marital infidelity is not the only form of betrayal that can manifest in close relationships.
Emotional Responses to Grief and Trauma
One aspect that sets She Didn’t See It Coming apart from other classic whodunits is its focus on the characters’ various responses to the trauma of the brutal murder. Every member of the Frost-Houser family reacts differently, and their behavior illustrates the fact that people’s reactions to trauma are unpredictable and highly differentiated. The first family member to learn of Bryden’s disappearance is Sam Frost, who initially responds pragmatically by trying not to alarm his young daughter, thinking, “It’s important to act as normally as possible […] even if things aren’t normal at all” (9). However, as soon as she is out of earshot, he begins to panic and relies on Lizzie to respond pragmatically. His anxiety mounts and eventually results in a panic attack, and when his wife’s body is found, Sam has another panic attack in the interrogation room.
His behavior at home also illustrates the complexity of the theme, for his panic dissolves into lethargy, and he cannot take any practical steps, like arranging child care for Clara. Instead, he acts “recklessly” by continuing his affair with Paige and lying to the police. This inability to “come to grips with his new reality” (238) is just one way in which people respond to grief, and this pattern is echoed in Jim Houser’s response as he “struggl[es] to process” (219) what has happened to his daughter. When he hears the news that Paige is involved in Bryden’s death, he “collapse[s] on to the sofa and remain[s] there, almost catatonic” (322). Like Sam, he struggles to process his emotions outwardly, and instead largely retreats inward.
Donna Houser, Bryden’s mother, has a much more visceral and demonstrative response to the news of her daughter’s murder. She cries and wails with grief, and as the investigation goes on, she becomes obsessed with the possibility that Sam committed the crime. Her guilt over not paying more attention to her daughter’s relationship also comes to the fore, and without an outlet for this anxious energy, she digs into the odd behavior of her younger daughter, Lizzie, even speculating that Lizzie is “abusing drugs.” This shift in Donna’s focus illustrates the need to reassert some form of control in the face of a tragedy.
Lizzie’s character arc is also illustrative of how an ongoing tragedy can affect even the most self-controlled and capable of people. In the immediate aftermath of the murder, Lizzie excels as a leader and problem-solver. She arranges a hotel for Sam and Clara, looks after her parents, and otherwise holds things together. However, the second she stops moving, she withdraws into her online community; she admits that “she can’t resist the allure of the group and what they do” (94). Over time, Lizzie withdraws into this morbid online space, spending more and more time alone in her room, chatting with strangers about her sister’s murder instead of processing her grief with her family. Ultimately, none of the family members react with grace or stability in the aftermath of the murder, and their varied responses run the gamut of human behavior, rendering the novel a perceptive study in grief, shock, and emotional trauma.
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