Shield of Sparrows

“One Voster priest was uncomfortable. But two? It was nearly unbearable. I fought the urge to rub my arms and sprint for the door. If Margot or Mae felt the discomfort, neither let it show.”

This is the first moment that foreshadows Odessa’s true identity as a potential crux. No one else, not even the Guardian, can feel the repulsive nature of Voster magic.

“My heart was beating so fast it hurt. The pulse pounding in my ears was deafening. But I didn’t look away from his changing irises. From that glare. I would not wither under that murderer’s stare. Father had taught me a long time ago that only fools cowered. I might not be his favorite daughter, but I tried not to be a fool. So I held the Guardian’s stare, my will as unbendable as Ozarth iron. Mae and I shared that stubborn streak. The corner of the Guardian’s mouth turned up.”

This moment captures Odessa’s emerging defiance and sets the tone for her internal resistance against authority, developing the theme of The Importance of Freedom to Personal Growth. Her resolve to meet the Guardian’s gaze mirrors her desire to assert agency in a world that continually underestimates or controls her. The mention of her father and sister suggests that even within a dysfunctional family dynamic, she has inherited a core strength—and here, she begins to wield it for herself.

“‘Mae is to be the Turan queen,’ Father said. ‘It cannot be Odessa. She is not capable.’ Ouch. Okay, so I wasn’t the chosen daughter, but was the idea of me as a queen really so inconceivable? Not that I wanted to be queen. At. All.”

This passage highlights Odessa’s struggle with self-worth, particularly in the shadow of her sister’s favored status. Her father’s blunt dismissal suggests the emotional neglect she endures, which shapes her quiet hunger for recognition. Though she claims not to want the crown, the sting of being deemed unworthy reveals a deeper desire to be seen as capable and valuable on her own terms.

“I wasn’t like Margot or Mae. When we were children, even though Mae was younger, if there was ever a squabble with another child, I’d let her fight them for me. I’d let her be the one to push and punch. Asking Jocelyn and Brielle to fight my battles wouldn’t be right. Somehow, I’d have to find the strength to do that on my own. How? I had no idea.”

This moment marks a subtle turning point in Odessa’s character development, as she begins to acknowledge the need for personal agency. Her past dependence on others to protect her contrasts with her growing recognition that survival from now on will require independent action.

“I believed Zavier and his men would keep me safe. But what if I was tired of being kept? What if I didn’t want to rely on a man to be my rescuer? If I truly wanted to be in control of my destiny, then I couldn’t wait for someone else to save me from danger. The only person who was always going to fight for me was me. Too bad I didn’t know how to fight.”

This quote captures Odessa’s growing frustration with her own passivity and the societal roles that confine her. Her shift from seeking protection to desiring self-reliance signals a deeper longing for autonomy. Though she admits her lack of skill, the recognition that her safety and freedom must come from within marks a critical step in her transformation.

“Zavier’s mouth pursed in a thin line. There wasn’t much I could do if he said no. Stomping my foot and pouting were more Mae’s style than my own. But I held his green gaze, willing him to give me a chance. To believe in me more than most people had in the past. Say yes. Please. He stared at me, his expression unreadable. Damn. He was definitely going to say no. The hilt of a sword appeared in front of my face. The Guardian held it by the blade, his fingers pinching on the smooth metal to avoid the sharpened edges. ‘Take it.’”

This scene quietly reveals Odessa’s deep craving for validation and trust, especially from figures of authority. Her inner monologue shows how accustomed she is to being dismissed and how rare it is for someone to believe in her capability. The Guardian’s gesture—offering her a sword—cuts through that pattern, marking an early moment of empowerment where someone else shows belief in her and her capabilities.

“If I wasn’t homesick, did that mean everyone back home had moved on without me, too? Was Mae hugging Arthy like she’d promised? Did my brother even realize I was gone? The answers would probably break my heart.”

Odessa’s questions are less about missing her family than they are about Odessa wanting to be somebody “worthy” of being missed. She wants to find belonging with people and in a place she can call home, but she relies on others for acceptance, not yet recognizing Belonging as a Choice.

“When I was younger, I’d had a flock of friends, mostly daughters of wealthy noblemen in the city. The girls would come to the castle for tea, and we’d play with dolls. As we grew, we would attend balls and parties together. And then they’d gossip about me behind my back. They faked our friendships so they could glean information about my father to relay back to theirs. Or they faked our friendships because they thought it would improve their station. I hated fake. I hated lies. So I’d stopped making ‘friends.’”

This passage sheds light on Odessa’s guardedness and her skepticism of relationships, especially those shaped by politics and hierarchy. Her past experiences with performative friendship have taught her to associate connection with betrayal, reinforcing her isolation. This explains her hesitance to trust in Turah; a history of manipulation and social posturing has shaped her desire for genuine belonging.

“But here, in Turah, I didn’t want to be alone. Maybe Jocelyn and Brielle could be my friends, at least before I sent them home. Station and status didn’t seem to be as important here.”

This moment reflects Odessa’s tentative hope for authentic connection outside the rigid social hierarchy of Quentis. Her willingness to consider friendship again signals emotional growth and a desire for belonging. Turah’s more egalitarian culture contrasts sharply with her past, offering a space where relationships might be based on trust rather than utility.

“Traitors. Liars. Thieves. I spent a year in Quentis and can say with absolute certainty, they are a despicable people. I harrumphed, double-checking to make sure I’d grabbed a book about my kingdom. That intro sounded more like a book about Genesis or Ozarth. A YEAR IN QUENTIS by SAMUEL HAY.”

This quote highlights how outsiders perceive Quentis and underscores Odessa’s conflicted relationship with her homeland. Samuel’s scathing depiction of Quentis reinforces that corruption and cruelty are embedded in its culture; this aligns with Odessa’s personal disillusionment but still hurts her pride. Her reaction reveals a tension between national identity and individual morality, as she begins to question her unquestioning loyalty to and trust in her father.

“Soft lips. Straight, white teeth. Sparkling eyes. That smile was breathtaking. My heart fluttered for just a moment until I realized I wasn’t the person who’d earned that smile. It wasn’t for me. And I shouldn’t want it for my own. Gods, what was wrong with me? What was it about him that stuck?”

This passage captures Odessa’s emerging romantic feelings for the Guardian and her simultaneous guilt and confusion about them. The physical attraction is clear, but her emotional reaction—longing for something not meant for her—reveals deeper vulnerability. Her question—“what was wrong with me?”—suggests internal conflict rooted in insecurity.

“So I’d leave Treow today. I’d find the road to Allesaria. I’d find out what was happening in Turah with these sick monsters and burning books. And in doing so, maybe I’d set myself free. No more bride prize, and no more Sparrows. Would I fail? Probably. But maybe, just maybe, I’d find a way. For myself. And for the next princess who wanted a choice. I was more capable than my family expected. I was more than I’d let myself believe. There was a girl inside me who’d once found the courage to jump off a cliffside. That girl had been stifled and smothered. Hidden except for those stolen moments of bravery. It was time to let her stretch her wings and fly.”

This quote marks a turning point where Odessa consciously rejects the roles imposed on her—as a bride, a pawn, and a passive participant. She acknowledges both her fear of failure and her inner strength. The reference to the girl who once cliff-jumped connects physical courage to emotional resolve, reinforcing her desire to reclaim agency not just for herself but for future women like her.

“The journey was terrifying and thrilling. It was a dive off a cliff. A leap of faith. This was freedom. And I was addicted.”

This passage reflects Odessa’s growing attachment to autonomy. The comparison to cliff diving—an earlier metaphor for feeling alive—shows how her physical movement through Turah mirrors her internal transformation. Freedom was once a distant concept but has now become tangible and intoxicating.

“What was in Allesaria that could stop the crux? If the Turans had a weapon, wouldn’t they have used it themselves? Or what if Father hadn’t told me the truth? What if he’d played on my sympathies? What if he’d leveraged my curiosity about the migrations, knowing I’d do anything for our people? What if I was doing all of this out of blind faith?”

Here, Odessa begins to question the narratives and motives of those in power, including her father. The repetition of “what if” signals growing skepticism, highlighting her shift from obedient daughter to independent thinker.

“He shouldn’t call me that. I was not a queen. Queens didn’t sneak out of encampments. Queens didn’t put others at risk. Queens helped people. They did not hurt them. I was never supposed to be here. I was not the right person to be the Sparrow. I wasn’t brave enough, strong enough, for Turah. This was a place for a woman like Mae. Someone bold and fierce. Someone unbreakable.”

This moment highlights Odessa’s deep insecurity. Despite her growing strength, she still measures herself against others and feels unworthy of leadership. The use of repetition (“Queens,” “Someone,” etc.) underscores this point as Odessa dwells on the qualities she believes she lacks and the people she believes she doesn’t resemble.

“I should have been glad to see my husband, to know he was here and safe, except there was a sinking feeling in my stomach. A wave of self-loathing. I wished I was excited to see Zavier. But I wasn’t. No, I was longing to see another man. And I hated myself for missing the Guardian.”

This quote reflects Odessa’s growing internal conflict as she confronts the emotional shift in her loyalties and desires. Her arranged marriage to Zavier never sparked genuine affection, and her guilt over longing for the Guardian illustrates the tension between political duty and personal desire.

“Please don’t leave me in the dark. I have been pushed to the side, dismissed, and overlooked my entire life.”

This quote captures Odessa’s core yearning for recognition and inclusion. Her plea reflects a lifetime of emotional neglect and reinforces the novel’s themes of belonging and autonomy. It marks a vulnerable moment where she asserts her need to be seen and valued not just as a political tool but as a person worthy of trust and respect. However, her pleas lack conviction, suggesting that she still struggles with insecurity.

“Please let me try to help. Don’t shut me out. I’m so tired of being the last to know what everyone already does. I’m not a warrior. I’m not a scholar or healer or even a decent princess. But I’m capable. I taught myself how to whistle. How to shoot a crossbow with marginal accuracy. I haven’t cut myself with my own knife or sword. I can help. I want to help. Please?”

This quote illustrates Odessa’s growing sense of agency and desire for inclusion despite her self-doubt. She acknowledges her limitations but also asserts her capability, showing how far she’s come from the passive, overlooked princess at the novel’s start. Her plea emphasizes the theme of autonomy, as she no longer accepts being sidelined and actively seeks to contribute to the fight.

“The truth was, I couldn’t trust him. I couldn’t trust Zavier. Hell, maybe I couldn’t trust my father, either. The only person I could rely on at the moment was myself. There was only one way for me to break free. Knowledge. Every secret I exposed would lead me to freedom. The freedom of choice. So I could decide where I wanted to go. Where I wanted to live. Who I could become.”

Odessa’s realization that trust in others has failed her propels her toward self-reliance and the pursuit of truth. Knowledge becomes her weapon, each secret uncovered not just a revelation but a step toward reclaiming power over herself, as she is no longer waiting for the information to be given to her on their timeline and their terms.

“I’d been in this kingdom for nearly two months, and somehow, he’d become the center of this new life. The axis I seemed to orbit. He saw me in a way that no one else had ever tried. He didn’t stifle my sarcasm or snide remarks. He teased me about the questions, but lately, he’d indulged my curiosity the way he did Evie’s. He gave me the freedom to be myself. To stop hiding. He was a man who’d follow me off the cliff, who’d jump at my side, not pull me away from its edge.”

This moment captures the emotional depth of Odessa’s bond with Ransom and how it contrasts with every other relationship in her life. Unlike the controlling figures from her past, Ransom respects her autonomy and encourages her individuality. His willingness to meet her at the literal and figurative edge—rather than pull her back—makes him not just a love interest but also a symbol of the freedom and acceptance she’s been seeking all along.

“My father had asked me to trust him. I had trusted him. I did trust him. But…Could I betray the Turans? No. No, I couldn’t. Even with the uncertainty about the coming migration. Even facing Ramsey. I couldn’t betray Tillia or Luella or Cathlin or Zavier. I couldn’t betray Ransom. He might not trust me. But somewhere along the way, he’d earned my loyalty. Gods, it was like my father all over again. But I didn’t care if the trust only went one direction. I wasn’t sure what my father was so determined to get from Allesaria, but I wasn’t going to let him harm these people.”

This quote shows a crucial shift in Odessa’s moral alignment and sense of belonging. Her loyalty has transferred from her father and kingdom to the people of Turah, who have earned it not through blood or obligation but through mutual respect. Even though trust remains complicated, Odessa’s choice to protect the Turans reflects her growth and sense of belonging in Turah.

“One moment, my heels were on the ground. The next, a hundred butterflies took flight in my belly, lifting me off my toes, reaching for him as he crushed his mouth to mine. The world around us began to spin, fading into streaks of light and dark, until the colors blended together in a swirl of gray and white and black. Until the only color that remained was green. It was like that first breath after jumping off a cliff, plunging into the ocean, and breaking free from the surface to fill my lungs. It was like being remade.”

This romantic moment serves as an emotional climax in Odessa’s relationship with Ransom and symbolically represents her transformation. The imagery of cliff diving—linked earlier to freedom and bravery—reappears here in a simile that aligns love with liberation.

“‘When she’s older, if she wants a life in court and I’m still alive, I won’t stand in her way. But I want it to be her choice.’ He was giving his sister the choice he had not been given. The choice I hadn’t been given.”

This quote highlights a generational shift in values, where autonomy is no longer seen as a privilege but a right. Ransom’s vow to let his sister choose her own path contrasts sharply with the forced roles both he and Odessa have endured.