Sister Wife: A Memoir of Faith, Family, and Finding Freedom

The opening sections of Sister Wife introduce the social norms of Woolley’s fundamentalist LDS sect and hint at the themes that will dominate her memoir. Because Woolley is detailing her story in her own words, she renders her account from the first-person point of view, using a conversational tone and incorporating key narrative elements to create a linear story. Notably, the prologue sets the tone for the rest of the memoir by establishing the author’s customary use of tactile imagery and scenic details:

On sunny days like this one, it feels as if light touches every surface of the home I share with David and Truely. It’s summer, so I’ve placed sunflowers and other bright bits of yellow throughout. Cheerful. Happy. It feels different from any place I’ve been before. […] Over breakfast, [Truely] and David grin and toss puns back and forth across the dining room table […] It’s perfect (xiii).

The images of the morning sunshine “touching every surface in the home,” of the sunflowers placed around the house, and of David and Truely enjoying one another’s company over breakfast all combine to create a warm, domestic mood. As Woolley pairs light authorial commentary with these more narrative elements, she asserts that her home life is “cheerful,” “happy,” and “perfect,” and this idealized wording is further intensified by the flowery, seasonal imagery used throughout the scene. By relying upon a familiar, matter-of-fact style, Woolley implicitly invites her readers into the intimate details of her personal life, just as her television show has done for years. Although Woolley’s religious and cultural traditions are far from mainstream, her colloquial narrative voice is designed to create an implicit bond with her audience.

Woolley’s authorial style aligns with the originating idea behind the Sister Wives show. Just as TLC’s reality television show strove to show the world “what polygamy could look like” (xiv), Woolley’s memoir Sister Wife seeks to show the world the complexities of living within (and leaving) a tight-knit religious community. In these opening sections, Woolley conversationally introduces her theme of Redefining Selfhood Outside of Institutional Belonging, particularly when she openly details her attachment to her church community and her faith. While the prologue presents Woolley as a typical American wife and mother, Part 1 delves into the more atypical aspects of Woolley’s life within her fundamentalist LDS community. In these chapters, she adopts a narrative voice that seeks to reflect her youthful point of view and convey how little she understood “the darkness in [her] community, or in that of other communities like [hers]” (5) when she was growing up. As she admits, “I didn’t yet know just how far apart we stood from everyone else,” (5). In her uncritical child’s perspective on the world, the young Woolley simply felt loved by and accepted within the fundamentalist LDS community; she did not fear her parents or the church leaders, and she did not question their polygamist practices. Ensconced within this tight-knit social institution, she felt safe. Because of her strong communal attachment, Woolley would shape her life and identity according to the principles and practices of her family’s faith.

Woolley’s retrospective narrative voice intermittently intersects with her depictions of her past life, and this stylistic choice inserts periodic reminders of her retrospective stance, foreshadowing the degree to which her younger self’s outlook on her life, her church, and her community is destined to change over time. Throughout the first two chapters, Woolley refers to her church community as “us,” but by the end of Chapter 2, her pronoun usage changes, highlighting her attempted separation from the fundamentalist LDS traditions. As she explicitly states, “I say ‘us’ as in, ‘That’s how I grew up. That’s who I was with Kody. That was my religion when I believed it was the best way to have a big family.’ Now, I suppose I could say ‘them’” (15). The use of caveats like “now,” “suppose,” and the conditional “could” affect a hesitant tone, which provides a sense of the difficulty that Woolley continues to face in identifying herself outside the context of her religious community. She is no longer a practicing member or a polygamist, but she still shows a certain reluctance to separate herself from these groups. Her reluctance is a symptom of her lifelong desire to belong.

The start of Woolley’s relationship with Kody underscores her longing to be loved, understood, and accepted. Although Kody did not express overt romantic interest in Woolley, the author nonetheless hoped to be chosen by him. Yet these early interactions are crucial to the narrative, for Kody’s tepid behavior in their short-lived courtship foreshadows his lack of investment in their relationship. Despite his lackadaisical manner, Woolley sees what she wants to see and does not perceive the coming complications of her dynamic with Kody and his two other wives. “At the time,” she admits, “it was all I thought I needed. There’s no point wishing for anything different because I did what I felt was right” (29). Woolley had been taught that this was the correct way to pursue a relationship, to establish intimacy, and to start a family, and she therefore accepted Kody’s tepid version of love because she believed her church community’s teachings and promises. At this early point in her life, she was still unable to advocate for herself or to choose a different future based on her own desires and needs.