50 pages • 1-hour read
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Content Warning: This section of the guide contains discussion of physical abuse, graphic violence, and gender discrimination.
Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.
1. How does Lisa See’s use of a frame narrative, with Lily telling her story as an elderly woman, affect your experience of the novel? What perspectives does this structure offer that a straightforward chronological narrative might not?
2. The novel explores various forms of female relationships. How does it compare to other novels with similar subject matter—e.g., Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club—in its portrayal of women’s bonds across generations? What distinctive elements does each book bring to this theme?
3. What was your initial reaction to the detailed descriptions of foot-binding? How did these passages contribute to your understanding of the cultural context and women’s experiences in 19th-century China? Had you encountered other literary representations of this practice before—e.g., in Adeline Yen Mah’s Chinese Cinderella?
Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.
1. The concept of teng ai (mother love) is described as being composed of two characters, meaning “pain” and “love.” How does this definition resonate with your own experiences or observations of parent-child relationships?
2. Have you ever maintained a long-term friendship through written correspondence? How does this compare to Lily and Snow Flower’s communication through their fan?
3. Throughout the novel, characters make choices between tradition and personal desire. Have you ever faced similar conflicts between societal expectations and individual wishes? How did you navigate the tension?
4. How do you relate to Lily’s struggle with regret in her later years? What role do you think forgiveness plays in long-term relationships?
5. The novel explores how social status affects relationships. Have you ever found that economic or social differences influenced a friendship?
Examine the book’s relevance to broader societal issues, cultural trends, and ethical dilemmas.
1. How does the novel’s exploration of women’s secret writing (nu shu) reflect broader themes of gender, power, and resistance in society?
2. What parallels can you draw between the social constraints placed on women in 19th-century China and contemporary gender expectations?
3. How does the novel address the relationship between physical beauty standards and social mobility? What modern equivalents might exist?
Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and use of narrative techniques.
1. How does the symbolism of bound feet evolve throughout the narrative? What larger themes does it represent?
2. Analyze the significance of storytelling in the novel. How do the various forms (nu shu, oral traditions, songs, etc.) serve different purposes?
3. How does Lily’s character development as a narrator affect your understanding of events? What biases might influence her telling?
4. Consider the role of the fan as both a physical object and a metaphor. How does it function as a literary device?
5. Examine how the author uses contrasts between public and private spaces to develop themes of female identity and power.
Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book’s content and themes.
1. If you were to create a modern version of nu shu, what form might this secret communication take? What rules would govern its use?
2. Design a fan that would tell your own life story. What symbols, images, or words would you include to convey your experiences?
3. Imagine you could write a letter to Lily about how her story impacts modern readers. What would you tell her about the relevance of her experiences to contemporary life?



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