Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

“There was something . . . I still do not quite know how to describe it. I would say that something like male ambition glowed right through her skin” 

Lily is describing her mother’s appearance during the first visit of Madam Wang, the matchmaker. Lily, who is only six years old, has just been identified as having the potential to make a profitable marriage connection. At this moment, Lily recognizes her mother’s shrewdness in business, a quality, which in men would be considered an asset, but in women is considered a fault. At this point in the novel, as we are still learning about the society in which Lily lives, this comment about the maleness of her mother’s appearance helps the reader to understand that there are distinctions between what is appropriate for women and what is appropriate for men. Lily’s story will include many instances of individuals behaving in ways that challenge, but at the same time draw attention to, the gender restrictions imposed by her culture.

“In one instant I changed from being a worthless girl into someone who might be useful to the family”

This passage demonstrates the complicated experience of being a female child in Confucian society. Lily’s parents have just decided to pursue the profitable match proposed by Madame Wang. At six years old, she is about to begin the process of grooming in preparation for her eventual marriage. As a girl, she is considered by her culture to be of no value to her family, and is in fact seen as a drain on their limited resources. Yet, as a child, she is free to explore the out of doors and to enjoy the attentions of her father and elder brother. Now that her family has committed to her preparations for marriage, she will be moved into the physically and socially restrictive private realm of women. Now that she is no longer considered “worthless,” she must also lose her autonomy and endure the physical pain of foot-binding and the punishments associated with her training for marriage.

“The story showed me how the value of a girl—or a woman—could shift from person to person” 

Lily’s aunt has just told the story of “The Woman with Three Brothers”, in which a woman is neglected by two of her brothers but is honored by the third. Because of the respect given to her by her third brother, she is able to enjoy happiness in the afterworld despite her unhappy life. It is significant that Aunt is telling the story, because she is a woman who has never given birth to a son and is therefore considered worthless. At this point in the story, Lily can appreciate the notion of shifting value to a limited extent. By the end of the novel, we see that Lily has applied this idea to many women who are considered worthless, as she seeks to tell their individual stories and assert the value of their lives.

“But a feeling in the pit of my stomach—of something naughty, of pushing against the boundaries of our preordained lives—gave me an internal thrill that in time would become a deep craving”

In the early days of their lautong relationship, Lily begins to see that Snow Flower has a spirit that enables her to lift her mind out of difficult situations. Whereas Lily feels she must submit to duty, she sees Snow Flower achieve happiness through her imagination. Through her friend, Lily begins to imagine how her life might be larger. The possibility of “pushing against the boundaries” gives her a sense of hope, but at the same time awakens a sense of desire.

“All of these types of love come out of duty, respect, and gratitude. Most of them, as the women in my country know, are sources of sadness, rupture and brutality”

Lily reflects on the nature of love, as it exists in the lives of the women in her culture. For her, love is a feature of duty, cultivated rather than experienced naturally. She points out that the love expected of women is designated by their position—a mother must love her child, a woman must love the husband that has been arranged for her, and she must love her husband’s family. She points out that, usually, this kind of dutiful love leads to unhappiness. With this observation, we can see within Lily an awareness of and a desire for a different kind of love, something more organic and authentic.

“‘Every word must be placed in context,’ she reminded us each day at the end of our lesson. ‘Much tragedy could result from a wrong reading’”

Aunt is teaching Lily and Beautiful Moon the art of nu shu, the secret women’s writing. Because the number of characters is limited in this style of writing, Aunt explains that the reader must be particularly discerning. This statement foreshadows the painful event that will occur much later in Lily’s life, when she misreads Snow Flower’s message. Her misguided sense of betrayal will lead her to sever their friendship and destroy the reputation of her dearest friend. 

“She was changing it, slanting it, feminizing it, and eventually creating entirely new characters that had little or nothing to do with men’s writing”  

This passage comes from the story of Yuxiu, the woman who created nu shu as a means of communicating secretly with her own mother and sisters. Treated poorly by her husband and the women in his household, she is mocked for her attempts to imitate men’s writing, firstly because it is inappropriate to do so and secondly because the others see her writing as sloppy. As the story says, her variations are deliberate, as Yuxiu seeks to build a new, individual form of communication out of the existing form that is denied to her. This process of slanting the words is one enactment of the process by which many characters in the novel seek to assert their personal identities within the confines imposed by their society.

“For her embroidery design she had invoked the Five Poisons—centipedes, toads, scorpions, snakes, and lizards. They were the traditional symbols used to counteract the evils brought on by summer—cholera, plague, typhoid, malaria, and typhus. Her stitches were perfect, just as her entire body was perfect” 

Lily is describing Snow Flower’s sleeping slippers, the ones she is wearing on the night the pair spend alone in the ladies’ chamber and explore their physical intimacy. Although they are both too young to fully understand their sexuality, Lily experiences an awakening as they touch each others’ bodies. The presence of evil, embodied in the symbols embroidered into Snow Flower’s shoes, suggests both their current innocence and the dangers that await them as they mature. There is the sense in this passage that the girls have come very close to evil, but as yet are still protected from it.

“We may be worthless. We may be raised for another family. But often we are loved and cherished, despite our natal families’ best efforts not to have feelings for us”

Lily is describing the grief expressed by her uncle at the death of Beautiful Moon. In her desire for love, she observes its expression in the people around her. She reveals in this statement her own keen awareness of the practical value assigned to human beings, and her longing for more emotional worth. As we read her observations of Beautiful Moon’s family, we get a sense that Lily longs to know that she is loved in this way as well, and that she takes from this moment an awareness that she is also cherished by her family.

“There is no life without death. This is the true meaning of yin and yang”

Lily expresses her grief for Beautiful Moon philosophically. She acknowledges that, because her family has been experiencing so much good fortune, nature demanded that a balance be established through the experience of tragedy. The notion of balance, of yin and yang occurs throughout the novel, most pointedly in the relationship between Lily and Snow Flower, their lautong match embodying the balance of good and bad fortunes.

The principle that determines what a thing is; in material things, it is joined to matter. Matter individuates the form it inheres in. For example, the form of dog is the basic design that makes dogs what they are. The matter is what makes a dog this individual dog, e.g., Fido. 

This statement is a commonly recited chant at weddings, and Lily hears it recited at her own. An expression of goodwill toward the bride’s family, it reveals the culture’s sense of women as a practical resource rather than as a personal entity. Within her world, Lily is a commodity to be traded in exchange for wealth.

“All of it was women’s work—the very work that men think is merely decorative—and it was being used to change the lives of the women themselves”

Lily is describing Snow Flower’s embroidery work, as she sees it when she learns about Snow Flower’s humbled circumstances. The needlework she has seen Snow Flower do throughout the years, Lily now realizes, is in fact a recycling of the items her mother made. Lily comes to the realization that this handiwork, believed to be of little value, is in fact the means by which women create practical and material results in their lives and on behalf of others. Embroidery, an activity considered irrelevant and consigned to women, becomes the means by which women can have influence that extends beyond their gender constraints.  

“You were headed up and I was going down. When you and I first met, I didn’t know anything. I was supposed to learn from you”

Snow Flower is revealing the truth of her circumstances to Lily. While Lily believed that she was learning from Snow Flower all through their childhood together, Snow Flower is explaining that, in fact, she was learning from Lily how to be a good wife in a humbler household than her own. In the spirit of yin and yang, each girl is preparing the other for their respective lives. Within each of their lives, the respective change in fortune provides the necessary balance. Furthermore, within the lautong relationship, they embody the balance through their differing social circumstances, as each experiences her change in fortunes in tandem with the other.  

“Her restraint and control taught me a lesson I have not strayed from to this day. You may be desperate, but never let anyone see you as anything less than a cultivated woman”

Lily is describing Snow Flower’s mother upon their first meeting, when Lily learns about their impoverished home life. When Lily gives her food, Snow Flower’s mother eats slowly and carefully despite the fact that she is starving. Lily admires the woman’s restraint, the fact that she retains her cultivated demeanor in spite of her physical need. Lily takes this lesson to a tragic extreme later in the novel when, after misreading Snow Flower’s message about befriending a sworn sisterhood, Lily retreats into her cultivated composure rather than express her hurt to the friend who might have clarified the situation and spared her so much anger and pain.

“I raised my eyes to hers. I had never shown her disrespect. Now I revealed the anger on my face. She held my gaze, believing she could weaken me with her cold eyes, but I did not look away” 

According to Lily’s upbringing, the proper behavior of a daughter is to conceal her emotions and avert her gaze. Having discovered that her own family has been lying to her about Snow Flower’s circumstances, Lily is angry and confronts her mother. In this moment, as mother and daughter are staring angrily at one another, we see Lily’s development from meek daughter to the proud lady that she will eventually become. We also see that she is embodying some of those “male” qualities that she has previously attributed to her mother.

“Sons are the foundation of a woman’s self”

This statement by Lily is a commonly held belief in her society and becomes a platitude that she uses when talking to Snow Flower. This simple sentence carries the notion that women have no intrinsic value, except in their ability to bear a son. Within the novel, the statement becomes a source of unhappiness for Snow Flower, whose childbearing years are less productive than Lily’s. At the peak of Lily’s success, however, the reality still remains that her only value lies in having given birth to a number of sons. While on one level, Lily has established her worth through childbirth, the fact remains that neither she nor Snow Flower is afforded any value as persons.  

“Obey, obey, obey, then do what you want”

Lily is quoting her mother-in-law, who has given her this advice as a means of having influence over her husband. The statement suggests that a woman who is dutiful and obedient can occasionally exercise her own will. It is notable that Lily uses this very statement as justification to defy the very mother-in-law who gave her the advice and who has forbidden her to interact with Snow Flower. In effect, Lily uses her teaching both to observe and to defy the restraints placed upon her.

“Good, that’s settled. Now, lie down beside me. Smooth your brow. This is a happy moment. Let us be happy together”

Lily is speaking to Snow Flower, as they have just decided to have daughters and to bring them up together as lautongs. The scene, in which they are lying in bed together, mirrors the scene earlier in their lives when they were first discovering their sexuality. This moment further develops the homoerotic quality of their relationship, as it results in the birth of two daughters who are intended to become a lautong unit. While biologically, the women will be impregnated by their husbands, from a narrative perspective, this conception is utterly female.

“It’s a funny thing that although my mother-in-law was extremely literate in nu shu—perhaps because she was so familiar with such a variety of characters—singing and changing had not been very important to her”

The women in Lily’s society engage in storytelling as a means of entertaining one another and as a means of instruction. The nu shu writing is a particular type of communication, in which information and stories are recorded and can be read by others, but it is a form exclusive to the more privileged classes. Oral storytelling and singing is more accessible to all women. Coming from a humbler family and being trained into a more cultivated one, Lily has the benefit of having access to both mediums. She recognizes in her mother-in-law the limitations inherent in living one’s life sheltered within the more privileged community.  

“I knew how the story went, but I wanted to give this child something to hold on to”

Lily has been telling Snow Flower’s eldest son a familiar tale about a boy who grows up neglected by his own family, but she changes the story slightly to reflect more closely the actual life of Snow Flower’s son. Snow Flower’s mother-in-law accuses her of telling the story wrong, but in fact Lily is deliberately changing the story in order to give the boy hope for his own future. This is another example of the power of storytelling, where the teller adapts from the original source to create something new, in an attempt to bring about change in the real world of the people who hear the story.

“In this family, Snow Flower’s eldest son had a position even lower than hers. No one loved him. He seemed adrift. Yet to me he was the most like my lautong. He was gentle and delicate” 

Lily observes that Snow Flower and her husband have given up any hope for their eldest son’s future because of his sickly constitution. Lily takes pity on him and tries to share with him her limited store of men’s learning, which she gleaned from looking in on her son’s lessons. She also teaches him some of women’s stories, in an attempt to make him more knowledgeable and to give him something to strive towards. Lily’s attempts to educate the boy present another point at which the novel challenges gender identities, as Lily compares him to Snow Flower, delicate and gentle. Their respective gender roles are further challenged when Lily becomes the means by which the boy is able to improve his social situation.

“I remember the little girl you were. You had nothing but a pretty pair of feet. Now you have abundance in your life, Lady Lu—an abundance of malice, ingratitude, and forgetfulness”

Madame Wang, now an old woman, tries to convince Lily that Snow Flower has not turned her back on their lautong relationship. She reminds Lily of her humble beginnings, hoping she will realize how much she has gained through the years. She seeks to remind Lily that success and public respect is something different from actual kindness and love. As narrator, Lily is recounting this statement, and in effect acknowledging the truth of Madame Wang’s words. Lily the narrator has come to see that her desire to be loved has turned into vile selfishness.

“I now understand that we learned those stories and songs not just to teach us how to behave but because we would be living out variations of them over and over again throughout our lives”

Lily is reflecting on the oral tradition that is a part of women’s lives in her culture. Within the novel, we see women tell stories at significant points in their lives. At times, the stories seem prophetic, and Lily wonders if the teller intends a specific message for a specific person. Later in life, she comes to understand that individuals have many of the same experiences, and that by telling their stories, they are able to reach out to others. In much the same way that nu shu writing provides a means for women in seclusion to communicate with one another, the oral storytelling tradition provides a point of connection through recognition between individuals who feel isolated within their own private circumstances.