Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

1. Discuss your reactions to So Old, So Young. What were your favorite or least favorite aspects of the novel, and why?

2. How did your experience reading So Old, So Young compare to your experience reading previous Ginder novels like People We Hate at the Wedding or Let’s Not Do That Again? Which title resonated most with you, and why?

3. Compare and contrast So Old, So Young to similar works of contemporary fiction. What narrative or thematic overlaps do you notice between Ginder’s title and titles like Brandon Taylor’s The Late Americans or Sally Rooney’s Conversations with Friends?

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. Reflect on the evolution of Mia Hoffmann and Marco Bernardi’s relationship. Have you ever had a platonic or romantic connection you struggled to let go of?

2. The main characters’ friendships begin in college and span throughout their adulthood. Compare the friend group’s dynamic to your own friend group. Which aspects of the characters’ group were least or most believable to you in light of your own experience?

3. Throughout the novel, Mia often compares her life to her friends’ lives, often feeling like an outsider. Discuss your own experiences of isolation within a larger group. How have your coping mechanisms compared or contrasted with Mia’s?

4. Richie Fournier is a person with a substance dependency, which all of his friends are aware of. How have your own struggles complicated or deepened your relationships with others?

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

1. So Old, So Young, highlights the lives of Millennial characters. Analyze how Mia, Marco, Richie, Sasha Karlsson-Lee, and Adam Parker are or are not products of their generation. How does Ginder either challenge or affirm Millennial stereotypes, and to what effect?

2. The characters in the novel tend to center their friend group over their biological ties. How does Ginder’s representation of the found family deepen the wider cultural discussion of intimacy beyond biology?

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

1. The novel is written from the third-person point of view, and in each chapter, the third-person narrator is limited to one of the main characters’ perspectives. How does this narrative technique impact the plot, characterization, and/or illumination of key themes?

2. Compare and contrast Mia and Richie’s characters. How do their similarities and differences create tension between them or draw them together over the course of the novel? How might they be foils for Sasha and Adam, and to what effect?

3. Analyze the role of setting to the novel’s mood and the characters’ evolution, such as the scenes in Brooklyn, Amagansett, Montclair, or Cancún. How do these settings reflect or impact the emotional dynamic between the characters?

4. Identify three symbols not explored in the guide and explore their significance. For example, what might costumes, clothing, drinking, sex, or water imagery represent?

Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book.

1. Imagine the main characters’ lives five years after Adam’s funeral. How do you think their relationships and circumstances have evolved? Has time continued to alter who they are to each other?

2. Create a playlist that captures the mood of the novel. While choosing your songs, consider the mood of each physical and temporal setting. How might the evolution of your playlist trace the evolution of the characters’ group dynamic? Share your playlists and discuss your reasoning behind each song you chose.