69 pages • 2-hour read
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Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of graphic violence, death, death by suicide, rape, physical abuse, emotional abuse, gender discrimination, antigay bias, racism, pregnancy termination, mental illness, and substance use.
This chapter begins with a page with a single word of dialogue, ending what Kyr was saying in the previous chapter: demanding that Wisdom let her “—go!” (321). Then, there is an excerpt from an unpublished fictional book: Earth’s Children: Humanity After the End of the World by Ursula Marston. She argues that humans are warlike. Then, she considers the concepts of peace and utopia. To achieve these, the question of resources must be solved, but there are debates about how resources should be allocated.
Ideological conflicts of religion, race, and morality also stand in the way of peace. There are debates about what should be tolerated. If there were no disagreement about ideas or resources, humanity would be united and monolithic. This may end war, but it would do so at the cost of losing diversity. Gaea is an example of an attempt to be monolithic: Everyone speaks the same language, there is no religion, and they attempt to genetically eradicate racial differences.
Kyr is back in the Doomsday agoge simulation. She yells that replaying it won’t help and starts crying about the billions of lost humans, exclaiming that she is stoppable after all. When the agoge turns off, Jole is there. He gives her a hand up, says that the Doomsday scenario gets to him as well, and wipes away her tears. Jole says that his generation failed her and puts a hand on her shoulder. The Wisdom has sent her back right before her mess was given assignments. Kyr moves out of Jole’s reach and wishes she could kill him. Aloud, she says what he wants to hear about honor and duty. He says that he doesn’t expect her to be perfect, and she knows this is a lie.
When she is alone on rec rotation, Kyr asks the Wisdom why it sent her there, but there is no answer. An alarm sounds, indicating that Command wants all Gaeans to meet in the arcade for full muster. There, Kyr sees all the Sparrows, including Jeanne, and Mags. With everyone in one space, the population of Gaea is revealed: less than 2,000 people. Jole announces that Scythica Wing destroyed a Wisdom cruiser. They were able to do so because the Wisdom destroyed itself. Next, Jole announces that the dreadnoughts are being repaired, starting with Victrix. Gaea is going to liberate the humans on Chrysothemis. Kyr realizes that Jole wants to rule humans and doesn’t care about the majo.
Everyone is given a rec rotation. People play arcade games and dance. The Sparrows watch the party, and Zen points out that Lisabel is being approached by several men. Jeanne and Kyr get between Lisabel and the male soldiers. The soldiers hug and kiss Jeanne and Kyr, respectively. Kyr pushes them away. While this is going on, the other Sparrows get Lisabel out of danger. Kyr finds Mags, and they walk away from the crowd together.
Mags pretends to be happy, Kyr calls him out on it, and they hug. When Mags says that he needs to tell Kyr something, she says that she knows he’s gay and tells him that she’s not straight either. She thinks about her attraction to Lisa and Yiso. Mags thanks her for telling him. However, what he was going to say was that Ursa is on Chrysothemis. Kyr realizes that Jole will immediately go for his son once they reach the planet.
Mags and Kyr go to Agricole and sit in the canopy. Kyr tells him everything that happened and apologizes for not realizing how unhappy Mags was. He says that he was afraid of looking weak. Kyr says that he’s too good for Avi, romantically, but they need Avi to get a message to Ursa.
Avi refuses to send the message because he doesn’t want to get killed for being a traitor. Avi saw Jole’s memos about hurting Ursa, and Avi doesn’t want to get involved in Jole’s vindictive mission. Kyr suggests that they sabotage the Victrix. Avi says that they would get caught. Kyr asks if they could take out all the dreadnoughts. Avi explains that this level of sabotage would destroy the station. Sabotaging Victrix just means that Jole can’t go to Chrysothemis until another ship is fixed, and the three other ships are harder to disentangle from the station. Avi reluctantly agrees to help and says that he’s likely to change his mind. They plan to wait until they find a way to get a message to Ursa.
Kyr goes to the Sparrow barracks. Cleo and the others waited to open their assignments until Kyr arrived; the flimsies are on her bunk. As Kyr hands them out, she is able to see what the others think of her and feel fear for them. Kyr opens hers but doesn’t look at it, and says she’s assigned to Nursery. Cleo accuses Kyr of playing a joke on them and takes the flimsy. Kyr is assigned to be aide-de-camp to Jole in Command. Cleo says that Kyr is getting special treatment from Jole as Ursa did. Kyr tells them that Jole raped Ursa, confirming a rumor they heard but never told Kyr about.
Jeanne is assigned to Ferox, Vic is assigned to Systems, and Arti is assigned to Scythica. Lisabel, Zen, and Cleo are assigned to Nursery. Kyr is angry and swears. She says that she needs their help and that she’s not leaving any of them behind.
In the middle of the night, Avi and Kyr meet in the arcade. Avi says that they can use Yiso’s ship to get a message out. Kyr says that it’s too small and that they need to steal Victrix.
Avi gets Mags assigned to the Victrix’s brig. Once he’s in place, Kyr gives the other brig guard an assignment in another area. Avi is in Kyr’s earpiece and calls her “fearless leader” (352), Cleo’s nickname for her. Kyr greets Yiso, who is confused about which time loop they are in; the destruction of the Wisdom impaired their temporal perception. She releases them from the brig, and they recognize Mags. Kyr sees that Mags is struggling emotionally and vows to get him off Gaea. For now, he remains guarding the empty brig.
Kyr takes Yiso to Mags’s hiding place in the canopy of Agricole. Avi has Kyr ask Yiso if they can run shadowspace simulations. Yiso says that they were designed for that. Kyr thinks about potential problems. Jole is making sure that the ship is space-worthy, and Avi is planning how to seize control of the ship. Kyr is struggling with the passenger list for the escape. Lisabel insists that they take all the children and women in Nursery. Avi and Mags don’t understand the danger of Nursery but reluctantly agree. Cleo suggests that they find a way to evacuate people without letting them know the real plan.
When Kyr reports to the Victrix, she sees people cleaning up bloodstains on the bridge and thinks about its captain, Admiral Elora, her mother. Jole says that being in the dreadnought is like coming home. He puts his hand on Kyr’s shoulder and says that she’ll be by his side because she’s special. Kyr internally thinks about how Jole’s approval is everything her old self wanted, but she now knows that Jole is a monster.
The next day, Avi meets Yiso in Agricole—their first meeting in this universe. Kyr comes along to supervise. Avi asks Yiso if they were a Prince of the Wisdom, and they confirm that they were. Avi asks if it was fun, which Yiso has never been asked before. The two compare how the Wisdom works with how the agoge works. Leru destroyed Earth because he feared that humans would succeed in creating their own Wisdom with the agoge. Avi suggests that they use the agoge like the Wisdom, with Yiso in simulations, in their rebellion.
Avi wants to spoof a majo attack with the agoge. A stationwide emergency will result in Nursery being evacuated. Avi enjoys planning the destruction of Gaea. Yiso and Kyr look at each other, remembering how much of the other universe Avi destroyed. Avi is upset that Yiso and Kyr know things about him. Kyr says that they were friends in another universe. Avi says that he doesn’t have friends. Yiso says that Kyr can remember the other universes because the Wisdom liked her.
Avi demands that Yiso give him back his memories, and Yiso does. Avi is amazed that Kyr killed him. Yiso and Avi talk about being an “arbiter of the worlds” (367), which didn’t satisfy Avi. Avi gives Yiso a comms headset and keeps laughing without mirth. Kyr tells him to stop and focus on this universe.
As Kyr is walking to Nursery, someone comes up from behind her and pulls her into a storeroom. She fights but then realizes it’s Harriman. Lin is also there and is smoking while sitting on a stool. Lin talks about how Jole, after killing his wife, was obsessed with using her genetic material to make Kyr. Then, she reveals that she knows Avi’s been hiding things, like the empty brig cell and the secret comm channel. Lin compares Kyr’s rebellion to her mother’s actions.
Lin says that Kyr should stop before Jole tears her apart. Kyr says that Lin knew about the problems with Gaea and allowed them to continue. Harry denies responsibility, but Lin admits that they thought they were heroes. Kyr says that she won’t stop because of what Jole did to Ursa and wants to do to her. She blames them for not intervening and tells them to stay out of her way.
When Kyr gets back to her barracks, Avi is there. Kyr tells him what Lin knows. Avi agrees to be more careful. He asks about Mags’s mental health. Kyr admits that she didn’t even know Mags was depressed in the other universe. Avi says that Mags is too good for him. Kyr agrees and says that Avi caused Mags to kill himself. She also takes responsibility for not helping Mags earlier. They both feel like they will never escape Gaea’s brainwashing. Avi doesn’t want to take responsibility for what he did in another universe. Kyr asks him if he’d do the same thing again, and he says he doesn’t know what to do now that Earth is dead, again.
Kyr repeats what Ursa said: “While we live, we’re alive” (376). They talk about family. Gaea taught Kyr that Earth was her parent and that humanity was her family, but as Val, she experienced what it feels like to have a real family. Avi hasn’t had a real family in any universe and feels unwanted. Kyr says that talking honestly with one another causes the Gaean brainwashing to break down. Avi wishes Kyr a good night, which surprises her. Then, he swears at her and leaves.
Jole has Kyr shadow him. She is frustrated to find him impressive. Kyr works 12-hour shifts and listens to Yiso and Avi chatting on comms. Cleo hides a headset in Nursery and checks in when she can. One day, near the end of a long shift, Jole rubs the scar on his injured leg and tells Kyr that Ursa used to help him with it. He misses Ursa and thinks that she’s revised history to make him look worse to compensate for being a traitor. Kyr asks Jole if he raped Ursa, and he says that accusation is a lie. He and Ursa loved each other, he claims.
Internally, Val warns Kyr that Jole is manipulating her. Kyr thinks that she has achieved everything her old self wanted, doubts that Jole raped Ursa, and takes out her comm. Jole gives her his command chair and kneels in front of her. He says that she looks like her mother. Kyr realizes that the Victrix was a shrine to Elora, and this causes her to remember that Jole is a monster. He says that she will command the Victrix one day and kisses her.
The kiss makes Kyr think about Russell taking Lisabel’s arm in Nursery in the first universe. Kyr vowed to break Russell’s wrist if he touched her, but she can’t resist Jole. Eventually, she manages to tell Jole to stop. He holds her chin, makes her look at him, assures her that there’s nothing to fear, and kisses her again. She stands up, pushing him away and kicking his bad leg in the process, which knocks him over.
He claims that all she had to do was say no. She helps him up. He says he isn’t offended and calls her “sweetheart.” Kyr realizes that he is just power hungry; he isn’t a hero. Jole’s comm goes off, and Kyr puts hers back in when he turns away. The chief of Agricole found Yiso. Four soldiers bring Yiso to the bridge. Lin comes in, struggling to stand and walk because of her war wounds. Jole gives her his seat. Yiso claims that they acted alone, but Jole doesn’t believe them.
Russell comes in with Mags, saying that he was on the comm with Yiso. Jole says that Mags isn’t smart enough to have organized a rebellion and demands to know who else helped. Mags doesn’t say anything. Jole asks Lin about the comm information, and she stalls. Kyr, but not Jole, can see that Lin is playing a game on her tablet. Jole talks about how Mags had help beating the Doomsday scenario from his boyfriend. Kyr moves to defend Mags, but Lin grabs Kyr’s wrist and directs her attention back to the tablet. It says that it’s time to implement the plan, that she can trust Harry, and good luck.
Lin stands up, leaving her tablet in the chair, and claims that she is the one in charge of the rebellion. She points out that she outranks Jole because she was a Commander before Doomsday and Admiral Marston promoted her. Jole promoted himself. Soldiers point their weapons at Lin, and she says it’s not necessary; she’s old and not a good shot. Kyr picks up the tablet and sees the chat logs between Avi and Lin. Lin continues to insult Jole, saying that the kids on Gaea could have never come up with a plan because they are too traumatized and physically exhausted. Jole murders anyone who gets in his way, Lin continues.
Kyr uses Lin’s chat to tell Avi to run the scenario. As Jole lunges at Lin, a siren goes off. Jole demands a visual of the threat outside. Lin mocks him for needing her help. Jole orders Kyr to get someone else from Systems. Yiso interrupts and pretends to command the system while Avi secretly controls the screens to show a Wisdom cruiser. Lin claims that it’s her backup, and Yiso says he’s pleased to have worked with her. Jole shoots Lin.
Avi programmed Gaea’s defenses to attack the station to make it seem like the cruiser is attacking. Jole orders darts to fight the majo darts that appear on screen. Kyr feels guilty that some people will die in these attacks. Jole demands that Yiso call off the majo ships. On the screen, strike teams appear to be landing in Ferox’s hangar. The drones are programmed to knock people unconscious without killing them. However, soldiers start hurting each other with friendly fire. Jole sees this and orders for close engagement only. He also orders that Mags be taken to the brig and that Kyr take a flimsy to Admiral O’Brien on the Augusta.
As she leaves the bridge, Kyr tells Cleo that she’s going to get Mags out of the Victrix brig on comms. Cleo worries that this might get her caught, but Kyr refuses to leave Mags behind. She turns off her comm and arrives at the brig before Mags. When she tries to pretend that the flimsy has orders for her to take Mags to another brig, one of the soldiers, Thorald, realizes she’s part of the coup. He pulls out a knife, and she kicks him between his legs. Mags fights the other soldier. Kyr takes Thorald’s knife and gun and points the latter at him, threatening to kill him if the other guard doesn’t stop fighting Mags. The guard stops.
Kyr orders the soldiers to get in the brig. They pretend to and then attack. Thorald knocks the gun out of Kyr’s hand, retrieves his knife, and puts it to her throat. He orders Mags to stop resisting and then orders both to get in the brig. Cleo, Jeanne, and Arti arrive. Cleo attacks Thorald while the other two Sparrows attack the soldier holding Mags. Cleo and Kyr take down Thorald, while Mags and the other Sparrows take down the other soldier. After locking the two soldiers in the brig, Kyr hugs Cleo. Cleo realizes that Jole made a pass at her and swears. The Sparrows are wearing handmade Sparrow badges instead of Gaea insignia. Cleo tells Kyr that she’s not a lone hero and to put her comm back in.
They go to Nursery. Lisabel brought the cadets there. They are larger and rowdier than the children. Kyr tells Lisabel that she’s a good person for saving the cadets, even though they might cause trouble. Kyr finds Harriman and the leader of Nursery: the very pregnant Sergeant Sif. Kyr says that Nursery needs to evacuate to the Victrix. Sif refuses to comply because Kyr isn’t her superior. Kyr tells Harriman that Jole shot Lin. He asks to hear Kyr’s plan, and she explains it to him. Sif warns her that Jole is still on the Victrix. Harriman says he’ll kill Jole.
Sif starts giving the orders to evacuate. Kyr asks Jeanne to get Avi from Systems and into the Victrix. When Zen admits that she never liked Cleo and Kyr, Kyr apologizes for believing in Gaea and treating the Sparrows the way she did. Zen pats her on the shoulder. During the evacuation, Mags is better with the children than Kyr. Lisabel says it’s a shame that men can’t be assigned to Nursery. Kyr realizes that if Jole had assigned her to Strike and Mags to Nursery, things would have been completely different in the first universe. Kyr feels proud of her rebellion and holds Lisabel’s hand.
Outside the Victrix, Avi and Kyr talk appreciatively about Lin, who was the leader of the rebellion among the adults and may have sacrificed her life for the cause. Vic kisses Arti, and no one is upset about this. Cleo and Kyr talk about being there for each other in the fight. Harriman mutters about this not being his first rebellion, and Kyr realizes that he helped hijack the Victrix originally. He leads them into the Victrix’s bridge. Inside are Jole, Russell, Yiso, six guards, and officers at consoles.
Mags and Harriman fight the soldiers at the door. Jeanne and Vic fight a soldier. Cleo and Arti fight several soldiers while Kyr fights with Russell. After Jeanne and Vic take down their soldier, they back up Cleo and Arti. Zen and Lisabel also offer backup. Harriman and Mags join the Sparrows after taking care of the door guards. Russell is the only one left standing. Jole and Yiso are missing. Russell grabs Lisabel and puts a gun to her chest. Lisabel elbows him, takes the gun, and shoots Russell in the knee. She tells Kyr that this was a level-seven agoge hostage scenario.
Kyr sees that Lin is breathing and receiving medical care; Harriman goes to her. Kyr asks Russell where Jole and Yiso went. Russell eventually admits that he doesn’t know. Avi discovers that Jole and Yiso went to shut down the agoge. Kyr accuses Avi of hiding something. He says that Mags says she’s kind of horrible, and Mags admits that this is true. Kyr laughs. She and Mags insist that Avi tell them what he’s holding back.
Avi says that Kyr shouldn’t go after Jole and Yiso. Avi used the engines of the other dreadnoughts to power the agoge, and when Jole shuts down the agoge, it will be destroyed, along with most of the Systems Wing. This destruction will trigger the destruction of Ferox’s engine, which will destroy more of the station. Kyr accuses Avi of killing innocents again. He says that he helped her get all the innocents in Nursery into the Victrix. Everyone assigned to Victrix is locked up, but safe, onboard. Avi can’t stop the station from being destroyed.
Kyr gets on the stationwide comm and tells everyone on Gaea that humanity’s war is over, that the Wisdom is gone, and that Victrix is leaving. It will not be attacking anyone; it will be seeking asylum. She informs them that the station is going to be destroyed and invites them to come aboard the Victrix before they leave in 12 minutes. Then, she announces that she’s going to find Yiso. Mags wants to come with Kyr, but she insists that he stay in case any of Gaea’s soldiers start trouble when boarding the Victrix. Lin tells Harriman to support Mags. Mags hugs Kyr. Russell continues babbling, and Sif, sitting in the commander’s chair, orders that Russell be taken to the brig. Kyr salutes her. Avi says that she won’t make it, and Kyr assures him that she can get from Suntracker to Drill in four minutes and 55 seconds.
Kyr runs across the station. She doesn’t hesitate when jumping into the shadow-engine tides and enjoys riding them. Near the three engines is a platform holding Jole and Yiso. Jole says that he’s disappointed that she’s a traitor. She realizes that she no longer wants to impress him. Yiso says that she should leave them behind, but Kyr refuses to. Jole offers to trade Yiso for Victrix, and Kyr refuses. Kyr tells Yiso to jump and she’ll catch them; Yiso is what’s keeping Jole away from the engines. They jump, and Kyr catches them.
Jole tries to hold on to Yiso, but Kyr kicks him away and into Ferox’s engine. Kyr lands with Yiso beneath the engines while Jole “die[s] smeared across fifteen dimensions” (428). Kyr puts Yiso over her shoulder and runs. Avi comes on the stationwide comms and says that he’ll wait for her. Kyr reaches a blocked tunnel and tells Avi to go without her and Yiso. Mags gets on the comm and says, “[V]ictory or death” (430). Kyr can hear the Victrix launch. Yiso apologizes. Kyr says she’s not sorry and she doesn’t regret coming back for them.
Yiso suggests that they find their ship in the hangar, and Kyr thinks this is a good idea. However, the tunnel starts breaking up. Yiso makes a pocket universe, which causes a welt to form on their face. It looks like Avi’s garden. Yiso struggles in pain, and Kyr says they can let it go. The pocket universe turns into a huge darkness. Kyr holds Yiso, and they sit on a platform. She wishes they could do the stick dance together again. Then, she asks to touch Yiso’s flukes, and Yiso agrees. Yiso asks to touch Kyr’s hair. She agrees and takes it out of its ponytail.
Yiso thought that they’d live forever serving the Wisdom, but they wanted to meet humans, specifically someone like Kyr. Kyr jokes that they wanted someone to make them do the stick dance. Then, she says she’s glad she met Yiso, and Yiso says they are glad they met Kyr. Kyr worries about the pain of asphyxiation and offers to give Yiso a less painful death. Yiso graciously turns down this offer. Kyr lays down with Yiso, holds them, and says that they can go to sleep and end the pocket universe. Just then, they shadow jump into Yiso’s ship.
Yiso says that they didn’t make the jump happen and goes to the ship’s controls. They think the ship jumped them aboard as a safety precaution. Yiso jokes about having to do staff practice, the stick dance, again. The ship heads toward Chrysothemis on autopilot. While Yiso sleeps, Kyr goes into the ship’s other room and talks to the Wisdom. She says it never killed itself. The Wisdom says it killed most of itself; what remains is just a “pleasure yacht” (435). Kyr asks if keeping part of itself alive was a moral position. The Wisdom says that it was a selfish desire and asks her to not tell Yiso. She says that Yiso has a right to know, and it agrees. It adds that it’s glad it met her. Kyr thanks the Wisdom for saving her. It says that it won’t be at every apocalypse. Gaea Station is gone, along with its Doomsday scenario. Kyr says she’s done with apocalypses.
The final part of Some Desperate Glory loops back around to the beginning of the novel: Kyr running the Doomsday agoge scenario. The first and third universes both include the destruction of Earth. However, after moving to the third universe, the Wisdom destroyed most of itself, changing the setting dramatically. Its near-total self-destruction allows Gaea to defeat a Wisdom cruiser and implement plans to rule humans on Chrysothemis. The military victory results in different assignments for the Sparrow mess and a revival of the Victrix as a space-faring ship, not merely a source of power for Gaea Station. The full muster meeting of everyone on the station also clarifies its size for Kyr and the readers. It has “a population of less than two thousand people” (331)—a small fascist sect, not the entirety of humanity as they were led to believe.
Kyr still retains Val’s memories and education, and these further illuminate How Fascist Competition Undermines Empathy. Every person on Gaea is expected to be perfect and punished when they fall short. This creates a sense of competition that undermines community. Gaeans are taught to hate luxury and feel superior to the Majo, whose “civilization has been corrupted by luxury and weakened by ease” (333). Almost every pleasure is considered luxurious and therefore immoral. Fascism is a hierarchy where the people at the top enjoy luxuries denied to most of the population. The majority of the population exists to fight the enemy, while Jole and those closest to him in the hierarchy enjoy the fruits of their labor.
The human population of the station has little diversity. In Sparrow, “Cleo [i]s the only one who [i]sn’t white” (345). Erasing ethnicity is part of a fascist eugenics project, forging an oppressive unity by eliminating difference. Jole and the Gaean authorities fear that if people identify as part of an ethnic or racial group, an LGBTQ+ community, or any other community smaller than the fascist state, these communities will become a source of “divided loyalties.” Gaea teaches its citizens that their loyalty is to Earth, not to the identity groups that they belong to nor their biological parents or the Nursery workers who raised them.
Nursery Wing is the novel’s clearest embodiment of How Authoritarianism Oppresses Women. Women assigned to Nursery lose bodily autonomy and are repeatedly raped and forced to be constantly pregnant. Gaea Station compounds this misogynistic violence through a program of selective abortion that limits the female population because the station has dedicated its existence to eternal war and believes that men make better soldiers. Their bioessentialism results in a rule that there are “[t]wo boys for every girl […] No gene-tailoring suite, so they have to be doing it by aborting female fetuses” (330). Kyr faces this fact in the third universe, unlike in the first universe on Gaea. Third, Gaea doesn’t assign men to Nursery; only women care for and raise children. Kyr considers how she wouldn’t have rebelled in the first universe if Mags had been assigned to Nursery and she had been assigned to Strike. She would have happily made herself into a martyr for a hopeless, fascist cause.
The third universe is where Kyr is most comfortable in her LGBTQ+ identity and embraces Found Family as a Form of Resistance. When Mags comes out to her, she is finally able to reply by saying that she is also queer. His reply models a supportive response to someone coming out: He thanks her for trusting him. Kyr, with Val’s assistance, improves her emotional intelligence not only around her brother but also around “her mess, her sisters, her Sparrows” (349). She apologizes for how she’s treated them in the past and finally learns to pay attention to their feelings. Lastly, Kyr begins to feel like she is part of a community of rebellious women: Elora, Ursa, and Lin. This multigenerational community of women is another found family—one that Kyr explicitly recognizes as an alternative site of loyalty: She “owe[s] her duty not to some abstract unknown planet but to the women who[] c[a]me before her” (397). Kyr prioritizes the people she loves—the outcasts and the rebels—above the fascist state.



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